A good read. Thank you for this well written piece. I do wish it would be published more widely. IT is not confrontational or mean, but a good social science summary.
I'm of the Free to be generation. I adored Tatum O Neal. I wore blazers and had a Hamil wedge haircut, wore pants and blazers and strangers often thought I was a boy. Glad I had parents who encouraged my self expression. I am also glad that when I did go through puberty the 80's/Edwardian look was in. A high neck blouse, oversized blazer and drindl skirt helped me feel safe as I got use to my body changes and the icky feeling when someone who looks like your dad is whistling at you. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I felt comfortable being a sexy, feminine person. Had I gotten the bombardment of messaging teens do now, supercharged with lockdown I bet I could have gotten caught up in the question of what gender I am? I wish technology had stalled at the Blackberry
As Lionel Shriver said in one of her essays, something like: I don't know what it feels like to be a woman I just am a woman. I understand that. I was lucky to grow up during the 60's with parents that liked sports and all those sports required strength and so that was a quality that was valued in our family for boys and girls. I didn't understand girly-girls. They were boring to me. They couldn't run fast and they didn't want to run fast. But I always liked boys so for me it wasn't a blossoming lesbianism but just a kid who loved nature and skiing and running and wearing my older brother's corduroys and hiking boots. That was considered 'cool' in my cohort. I don't understand why everyone wants to IDENTIFY as something. But I'm old and glad to be this age as I watch the madness unfold with the kids on social media and people thinking that it's okay for a biological man to identify as a woman and to race against women and if we don't agree with that insanity then we must be TERFS or TRANSPHOBES.
Nope.
We are not.
We are humanists and we are based in reality.
But thank goodness for you Lisa because your voice is so desperately needed here.
I’m troubled that the therapists ‘weren’t as worried about the “always tomboy” types, the ones who’d been super masculine since childhood‘. Besides regret, there are plenty of negative health problems of transitioning to worry about, as well as the concern that this is straightening out a generation of lesbians. I wish they would be equally concerned about them!
How do you account for the hyper-gendering trend of the early 2000s? Anxiety about gender roles? Changes in the economy? Is there a class dimension to it? The gender reveal parties seem totally class-based to me.
It's a shame your publisher didn't go for it, but great for us to be able to read this piece!
I know it's not your area of expertise, but I wonder how the opposite-sexed version of this story plays out. I seem to recall it was never as acceptable to be a feminine boy as a masculine girl, perhaps even less so now.
Thank you for this article. I have to say it is aggravating that the publisher passed. This is a point I really wish people on the left, especially the young feminist types, would hear about. I am the parent of an ROGD teen girl who was always a delightfully unique mix of masculine and feminine -typical traits (in other words, her own person) until the school closures and the onset of puberty, in which she began identifying as a male. Everyone, and I mean everyone, in our extremely liberal California area affirms her. I am most struck by my family of proud feminists that fall all over themselves with the he/him toward my child. I know their intent is good-they love my child and they believe this is support. I really appreciate the love they have for my child. But any attempts I have made to explain to them that social transition is not without risk, and that it is not really very feminist to affirm to a child that yes, because you like masculine-typical things like skateboarding, football, etc. that *must* mean you are in fact a boy. The minute I try to make the point that social transition might not be harmless, they give me the "tinfoil hat" face and it is so aggravating that I pretty much just do not address it. I really wish this was an article that was running in places they would read it, like the NYT, Washington Post, etc. Regardless, I am grateful to be reading it here and grateful to you for continuing to make your voice heard. I miss the tomboys too!
A good read. Thank you for this well written piece. I do wish it would be published more widely. IT is not confrontational or mean, but a good social science summary.
I'm of the Free to be generation. I adored Tatum O Neal. I wore blazers and had a Hamil wedge haircut, wore pants and blazers and strangers often thought I was a boy. Glad I had parents who encouraged my self expression. I am also glad that when I did go through puberty the 80's/Edwardian look was in. A high neck blouse, oversized blazer and drindl skirt helped me feel safe as I got use to my body changes and the icky feeling when someone who looks like your dad is whistling at you. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I felt comfortable being a sexy, feminine person. Had I gotten the bombardment of messaging teens do now, supercharged with lockdown I bet I could have gotten caught up in the question of what gender I am? I wish technology had stalled at the Blackberry
As Lionel Shriver said in one of her essays, something like: I don't know what it feels like to be a woman I just am a woman. I understand that. I was lucky to grow up during the 60's with parents that liked sports and all those sports required strength and so that was a quality that was valued in our family for boys and girls. I didn't understand girly-girls. They were boring to me. They couldn't run fast and they didn't want to run fast. But I always liked boys so for me it wasn't a blossoming lesbianism but just a kid who loved nature and skiing and running and wearing my older brother's corduroys and hiking boots. That was considered 'cool' in my cohort. I don't understand why everyone wants to IDENTIFY as something. But I'm old and glad to be this age as I watch the madness unfold with the kids on social media and people thinking that it's okay for a biological man to identify as a woman and to race against women and if we don't agree with that insanity then we must be TERFS or TRANSPHOBES.
Nope.
We are not.
We are humanists and we are based in reality.
But thank goodness for you Lisa because your voice is so desperately needed here.
Your calm and your clarity.
The world needs your voice.
I’m troubled that the therapists ‘weren’t as worried about the “always tomboy” types, the ones who’d been super masculine since childhood‘. Besides regret, there are plenty of negative health problems of transitioning to worry about, as well as the concern that this is straightening out a generation of lesbians. I wish they would be equally concerned about them!
How do you account for the hyper-gendering trend of the early 2000s? Anxiety about gender roles? Changes in the economy? Is there a class dimension to it? The gender reveal parties seem totally class-based to me.
Very interesting article, Lisa. I do appreciate your expert voice in this issue.
It's a shame your publisher didn't go for it, but great for us to be able to read this piece!
I know it's not your area of expertise, but I wonder how the opposite-sexed version of this story plays out. I seem to recall it was never as acceptable to be a feminine boy as a masculine girl, perhaps even less so now.
Thank you for this article. I have to say it is aggravating that the publisher passed. This is a point I really wish people on the left, especially the young feminist types, would hear about. I am the parent of an ROGD teen girl who was always a delightfully unique mix of masculine and feminine -typical traits (in other words, her own person) until the school closures and the onset of puberty, in which she began identifying as a male. Everyone, and I mean everyone, in our extremely liberal California area affirms her. I am most struck by my family of proud feminists that fall all over themselves with the he/him toward my child. I know their intent is good-they love my child and they believe this is support. I really appreciate the love they have for my child. But any attempts I have made to explain to them that social transition is not without risk, and that it is not really very feminist to affirm to a child that yes, because you like masculine-typical things like skateboarding, football, etc. that *must* mean you are in fact a boy. The minute I try to make the point that social transition might not be harmless, they give me the "tinfoil hat" face and it is so aggravating that I pretty much just do not address it. I really wish this was an article that was running in places they would read it, like the NYT, Washington Post, etc. Regardless, I am grateful to be reading it here and grateful to you for continuing to make your voice heard. I miss the tomboys too!
Was it Yahoo?