Dear readers, Gratitude has always been elusive for me. For most of my life, I adopted the strategy of “expect the worst and you’re more likely to be pleasantly surprised.” The problem was: I was miserable while waiting for the pleasant surprise, and whenever it came, I knew it wasn’t permanent, that I couldn’t rely on it, or that I didn’t deserve it. I did not know how to exult when things were good. Even now, whenever I experience delight in my beautiful children, or the community I’ve found via speaking up and speaking out, I’m instantly certain that something terrible will happen. After suffering from suicidal depression for several decades, I am afraid of happiness, even as I experience it.
I am grateful for *you*. You spoke out when so many people hid. You have just kept on--digging, thinking, writing, explaining, listening, pushing for the truth to come out, even at great personal cost, thanks to your integrity and courage.
Please take a deep breath in the moment and give yourself permission to feel joy and goodness. The battles are there, but you have a right and an obligation to yourself and those who love you, to put it aside now and then, to enjoy some of the good in the world. You're working for it for others, you deserve it no less than anyone else!
I’m grateful for your important voice, Lisa! As a politically homeless lefty mom of an ROGD kid, you speak for me. Please know you make a difference 💕💕🙏🙏
As someone who also struggles with gratitude.. I am grateful for you saying this aloud in thoughtful way. I’m really enjoying your thoughts and writing. Take care.
Wishing you lots of joy on this holiday. Among the things that I am grateful for, Lisa, is your clear articulation of ideas very similar to my own, (and your links to current research in the field.) Thabk you!
Perhaps we need to hear more from the desisters, who are typically "lost to follow-up." They found a new way to see themselves, which happens to preserve their intact body. I highly recommend a channel called Isaac Uncooked. He's working through the fact that he was a narcissist cross-dresser, and the way to save yourself from that is to focus on others. Also, Jonathan Streeter's channel Thoughts on Things and Stuff. Both of these are youtube. My channel, Ute Heggen, is mostly for short butterfly clips, filmed in my garden and short movement clips, demos of the sequences I've found helpful to deal with the sadness of my sons siding with their father now, in his fantasy that he can also be identified as their mother. 2015 was the watershed year when the younger generation absorbed the indoctrination of "authentic self" and "own truth." Your work here matters to us. I've collected a small coterie of readers and viewers who were traumatized by a siblings, or spouses or offspring's "transition," and the lack of gratitude they see in this person's new persona. We still have the moon, and we share it. Jupiter is up there now, as well. uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com
Quite agree with you about detransitioners, their stories providing welcome and useful insights into the pathologies of gender, and the "big lies" that contribute to them.
Apropos of which and ICYMI, a recent post on the topic:
Though a big part of that problem is that far too many subscribe to the profoundly and seriously unscientific if not anti-scientific view that "sex is immutable (!!11!! 🙄)" - it ain't. By the standard biological definitions, to have a sex is to have functional gonads of either of two types, those with neither being, ipso facto, sexless -- which includes about a third of us at any one time.
Thanks Lisa! I hope you enjoy the day with your kids. Kids we are so grateful for!
I, too, have endured depression/suicidal intrusive thoughts for many years. But today, I am grateful to be alive and grateful I have a purpose. I hope you are grateful for the same. Faith in my higher power (God), continues to sustain me and give me hope and peace. I pray the same for you. :)
Happy Thanksgiving Lisa. I am grateful for so much and this includes knowing you and your work. You are a light for us. An inspiration and we are grateful that you are here.
Although no one can change their biological sex, we all voluntarily choose to live somewhere on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical feminine to masculine attributes. No one should be discriminated against for their choice and no one should use that choice to disadvantage others. Trans women (in reality men) participating in 99% of life’s activities? No harm, no foul. Just like me. Men in women’s sports, restrooms, locker rooms and prisons? Foul. Not exclusion, just everyday common sense. Everyone is entitled to fairness and privacy.
Lisa: "After suffering from suicidal depression for several decades, I am afraid of happiness, even as I experience it."
Sadly, or not, part and parcel of the human condition, the result of living on "the razor's edge", on the edge of oblivion. Though some people have some heavier burdens than others which pushes them closer to that edge. But the staple of philosophers, novelists, poets, and playwrights "from time immemorial" -- "to be or not to be", "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" and all that. Often takes quite a bit of courage, faith, or purpose -- or maybe just luck -- to surmount those tendencies to "take arms against a sea of troubles".
Lisa: "I believe deeply in the normalcy of gender nonconformity, and that we are struggling to find ways to support it in this country. Thanks for being with me while I try to tell that story."
An important story to tell, and you're to be commended for taking that bull by the horns. Though "gender nonconformity" can potentially cover a lot of ground, some of which might reasonably be seen to be beyond the Pale -- much of transgenderism for example. Bit of a puzzle as to where, when and how that "nonconformity" becomes pathological.
I am grateful for *you*. You spoke out when so many people hid. You have just kept on--digging, thinking, writing, explaining, listening, pushing for the truth to come out, even at great personal cost, thanks to your integrity and courage.
Please take a deep breath in the moment and give yourself permission to feel joy and goodness. The battles are there, but you have a right and an obligation to yourself and those who love you, to put it aside now and then, to enjoy some of the good in the world. You're working for it for others, you deserve it no less than anyone else!
Thank you.
I’m grateful for your important voice, Lisa! As a politically homeless lefty mom of an ROGD kid, you speak for me. Please know you make a difference 💕💕🙏🙏
Happy Thanksgiving, Lisa. The world is a better place because you’re in it.
As someone who also struggles with gratitude.. I am grateful for you saying this aloud in thoughtful way. I’m really enjoying your thoughts and writing. Take care.
Grateful for you! Happy thanksgiving.
Wishing you lots of joy on this holiday. Among the things that I am grateful for, Lisa, is your clear articulation of ideas very similar to my own, (and your links to current research in the field.) Thabk you!
Perhaps we need to hear more from the desisters, who are typically "lost to follow-up." They found a new way to see themselves, which happens to preserve their intact body. I highly recommend a channel called Isaac Uncooked. He's working through the fact that he was a narcissist cross-dresser, and the way to save yourself from that is to focus on others. Also, Jonathan Streeter's channel Thoughts on Things and Stuff. Both of these are youtube. My channel, Ute Heggen, is mostly for short butterfly clips, filmed in my garden and short movement clips, demos of the sequences I've found helpful to deal with the sadness of my sons siding with their father now, in his fantasy that he can also be identified as their mother. 2015 was the watershed year when the younger generation absorbed the indoctrination of "authentic self" and "own truth." Your work here matters to us. I've collected a small coterie of readers and viewers who were traumatized by a siblings, or spouses or offspring's "transition," and the lack of gratitude they see in this person's new persona. We still have the moon, and we share it. Jupiter is up there now, as well. uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com
Quite agree with you about detransitioners, their stories providing welcome and useful insights into the pathologies of gender, and the "big lies" that contribute to them.
Apropos of which and ICYMI, a recent post on the topic:
https://elizamondegreen.substack.com/p/new-post-at-genspect-originals-and
Though a big part of that problem is that far too many subscribe to the profoundly and seriously unscientific if not anti-scientific view that "sex is immutable (!!11!! 🙄)" - it ain't. By the standard biological definitions, to have a sex is to have functional gonads of either of two types, those with neither being, ipso facto, sexless -- which includes about a third of us at any one time.
ICYMI, my recent elaborations on that theme ... 😉
https://literallycalled.substack.com/p/enablers-and-enabling-behaviours/comment/10675233
Thanks Lisa! I hope you enjoy the day with your kids. Kids we are so grateful for!
I, too, have endured depression/suicidal intrusive thoughts for many years. But today, I am grateful to be alive and grateful I have a purpose. I hope you are grateful for the same. Faith in my higher power (God), continues to sustain me and give me hope and peace. I pray the same for you. :)
Happy Thanksgiving Lisa. I am grateful for so much and this includes knowing you and your work. You are a light for us. An inspiration and we are grateful that you are here.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful remarks this Thanksgiving. Sincerely, Frederick
I am grateful for knowing you and your fearless and tireless work Lisa! ❤️ Yours is a strong and beautiful and kind heart, thanks for sharing it!
Although no one can change their biological sex, we all voluntarily choose to live somewhere on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical feminine to masculine attributes. No one should be discriminated against for their choice and no one should use that choice to disadvantage others. Trans women (in reality men) participating in 99% of life’s activities? No harm, no foul. Just like me. Men in women’s sports, restrooms, locker rooms and prisons? Foul. Not exclusion, just everyday common sense. Everyone is entitled to fairness and privacy.
Lisa: "After suffering from suicidal depression for several decades, I am afraid of happiness, even as I experience it."
Sadly, or not, part and parcel of the human condition, the result of living on "the razor's edge", on the edge of oblivion. Though some people have some heavier burdens than others which pushes them closer to that edge. But the staple of philosophers, novelists, poets, and playwrights "from time immemorial" -- "to be or not to be", "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" and all that. Often takes quite a bit of courage, faith, or purpose -- or maybe just luck -- to surmount those tendencies to "take arms against a sea of troubles".
Lisa: "I believe deeply in the normalcy of gender nonconformity, and that we are struggling to find ways to support it in this country. Thanks for being with me while I try to tell that story."
An important story to tell, and you're to be commended for taking that bull by the horns. Though "gender nonconformity" can potentially cover a lot of ground, some of which might reasonably be seen to be beyond the Pale -- much of transgenderism for example. Bit of a puzzle as to where, when and how that "nonconformity" becomes pathological.