I say that giving pronouns, like it or not, is a political act. And I need to remain removed from such acts. And just as I respect other people's pronouns and their right to say their pronouns, I would ask that people respect my right not to say mine. I do not appreciate compelled speech. Also, I have not been mistaken as female since my…
I say that giving pronouns, like it or not, is a political act. And I need to remain removed from such acts. And just as I respect other people's pronouns and their right to say their pronouns, I would ask that people respect my right not to say mine. I do not appreciate compelled speech. Also, I have not been mistaken as female since my voice finished lowering when I was 16 years old and people stopped thinking I was my mom when I answered the phone. No one needs to know my pronouns; they are universally self evident, in particular since there are no women named Ben. As for saying pronouns out of solidarity, there are plenty of people who have that covered. They do not also need me to participate.
Thanks, I agree. My response is whether my ex husband, who suddenly identified as female when our children were 5 and 8, is entitled to name himself as mother and put my name in the "nanny line" at the bottom of the school form. Because that is what he did. I don't participate in groups requiring pronouns. But I'm retired and live an almost hermetic life, outside of my research on trans widows (a steady 1/3 of us were sexually assaulted or physically abused by crossdressing husband, with almost 70 women's stories--the only data of this sort in the world) and the traditional chorus I sing with. It turns out, those who mess with their singing voice with hormones or try to sing in the wrong sex range aren't able to keep it up. I'm safe there. Thanks God.
I was in a theatrical production 2 years ago and everyone had to say their pronouns when they introduced themselves. I was the very last to go and I just conveniently forgot. Thankfully, no one noticed.
Those of us who are pretending to forget to declare our pronouns: could that be more effective than declaring why we’re not declaring or answering with a joke?
Going on the offensive might chill the air, put others off.
But not going along might embolden others to just not go along with the ritual too. We’re modeling noncompliance without openly fighting.
I was on an LGBTQ health journalist panel in February 2023 (the last time anyone would invite me to such a thing), and the VERY FIRST question the moderator asked was why I hadn't put my pronouns in my bio in the program. I didn't have an answer then, so I just quietly said I didn't wish to discuss it and hoped people would just forget about it.
Yes, Ben, it absolutely is a political act, and so is using the "preferred pronouns" of men who falsely claim to be women (such as B.Wu), and of women who falsely claim to be men (such as B.Angel), as you do.
And, Ben, yet another political act is permanently banning a commenter on your substack who points this out, as you did to me.
Your reason is that you cannot tolerate anyone who disagrees with you. You support men like B.Wu having access to women's spaces, and you can't stand anyone who calls you out on that.
I say that giving pronouns, like it or not, is a political act. And I need to remain removed from such acts. And just as I respect other people's pronouns and their right to say their pronouns, I would ask that people respect my right not to say mine. I do not appreciate compelled speech. Also, I have not been mistaken as female since my voice finished lowering when I was 16 years old and people stopped thinking I was my mom when I answered the phone. No one needs to know my pronouns; they are universally self evident, in particular since there are no women named Ben. As for saying pronouns out of solidarity, there are plenty of people who have that covered. They do not also need me to participate.
I still think you're your mom when you answer the phone...
"Sally??" they would always say. I was tempted to just say yes and then gain access to all her secrets.
Wrong pronouns! Second "you're" should be "your".
Fixed!
Thanks, I agree. My response is whether my ex husband, who suddenly identified as female when our children were 5 and 8, is entitled to name himself as mother and put my name in the "nanny line" at the bottom of the school form. Because that is what he did. I don't participate in groups requiring pronouns. But I'm retired and live an almost hermetic life, outside of my research on trans widows (a steady 1/3 of us were sexually assaulted or physically abused by crossdressing husband, with almost 70 women's stories--the only data of this sort in the world) and the traditional chorus I sing with. It turns out, those who mess with their singing voice with hormones or try to sing in the wrong sex range aren't able to keep it up. I'm safe there. Thanks God.
I have just ignored the request in a group where we’re introducing ourselves. No one followed up with “Well what are your pronouns?”
I have never been asked directly by someone—maybe because it’s self evident, maybe because the ritual is about group bonding?
That’s what I do too. No one’s ever followed up with me either.
I was in a theatrical production 2 years ago and everyone had to say their pronouns when they introduced themselves. I was the very last to go and I just conveniently forgot. Thankfully, no one noticed.
Those of us who are pretending to forget to declare our pronouns: could that be more effective than declaring why we’re not declaring or answering with a joke?
Going on the offensive might chill the air, put others off.
But not going along might embolden others to just not go along with the ritual too. We’re modeling noncompliance without openly fighting.
How about?
WHAT! Are you blind? It should be obvious!
I was on an LGBTQ health journalist panel in February 2023 (the last time anyone would invite me to such a thing), and the VERY FIRST question the moderator asked was why I hadn't put my pronouns in my bio in the program. I didn't have an answer then, so I just quietly said I didn't wish to discuss it and hoped people would just forget about it.
Yes, Ben, it absolutely is a political act, and so is using the "preferred pronouns" of men who falsely claim to be women (such as B.Wu), and of women who falsely claim to be men (such as B.Angel), as you do.
And, Ben, yet another political act is permanently banning a commenter on your substack who points this out, as you did to me.
I don't recall, but I'm sure I had a very good reason.
Your reason is that you cannot tolerate anyone who disagrees with you. You support men like B.Wu having access to women's spaces, and you can't stand anyone who calls you out on that.
No, it's that I cannot tolerate certain people who are profoundly rude and insufferable.