Agreed. I wrote up a version last summer as rules for the Berkshires.
Thou shalt purchase four lawn tickets to JT and attempt to resell these online whence thou realizith that thou hath Covid on July 4th.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, apart from that of JT.
Thou shalt not take the name JT in vain. Nor that of AG—Arlo Guthrie—though ‘tis not his season.
Remember, thou must cook for thyself on Tuesdays, as the search for an open restaurant upon this day shall surely compound thy troubles and sufferings.
Honor thy small children and grandchildren but do not bear them to evening concerts or films, as loud babble from such as these shall bring down upon thy head great cursing, rather than love, from thy neighbors.
Thou shalt make every attempt to not kill beasts or crawling things with thy vehicle. Human cyclists, also, except when two of them are riding side by side on Route 7.
Thou shalt not, beginning on August 1, steal our summer joy with thy the-summer-is-nearly-over lamentations. This season hath not 40 days and 40 nights, but yea, more than twice that number.
Thou shalt not commit littering against this green earth with thy confetti, thy wayward balloons, thy nips, nor thy colorful, plastic dog poop baggies. Art thou a monster?
Thou shalt not bear false witness to thy bear sightings. That bear didst surely not weigh anywhere near 500 pounds, nor didst thou and it endure a tense stand-off. It was rather small and timid and ambled off as soon as the dog started barking.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s pool. The Green River is better anyhow. I mean the Housatonic River.
Lisa there was a really wild episode of The Daily today about school choice that made me more and more angry as it progressed. I have a preschooler so I’m not in the public school system yet, but we are heading there and I live in a fairly low income neighborhood of Los Angeles. Our public school options are god awful. Our friend whose daughter just started kindergarten said the report home every day was about the TV THEY WATCHED. I get sick to my stomach thinking about how much they’ve ruined the public schools. Because it is now standard practice at the NYT to report on things they don’t like as being a right wing issue it framed the entire debate from a conservative point of view. I would love to see the list of schools where the reporters and investors in that paper send their kids! The episode culminated in the critique of the school choice issue as being more about whether or not parents were happy vs test results or learning improvement….which of course reminded me of you. It’s a total flip flop of the way the progressives tend to frame medicalizing gender. When it comes to gender, we only care about how the patients say how they feel at any given moment not about whether or not we can provide data that they are actually doing better in their lives after transition. Conversely when it comes to schooling our children we should only care about testable results and data, parents feelings and values don’t matter in the least.
Please send link to show but, yes, the absurd battle over controlling minds in schools is not limited to one side or the other. One wants us to bed to God, the other to Gender Identity. Meanwhile, they really should learn not to stand on the left side of the escalator if we're making schools all about morals!
11. Thou shalt recognize that theodicy is just a contraction of “theological idiocy”, and “apologetics” is the term for all those people wasting their time trying to prove a conclusion they’ve already decided to be true.
Thou shalt be curious about your fellow man with an eye toward understanding and away from judgment. Rotate your tires should be in there somewhere as well.
My 11th commandment is about bedtime, there shall be a bedtime that gives enough sleep to every member of the family. Also, when biking, wear a helmet. Also, my dentist said children who brush and floss teeth upon arrival home from school don't get cavities--really.
Here's a rambling video by new youtuber Kelly Oliver Dougall, recently devoting her counseling hours to trans widows, siblings of trans identifying family members, children of and co-workers of demanding trans identified individuals.
Oh, and if the above leaves you scratching your head, have I got one fantastic spoof documentary (or "Rockumentary") to insist you must watch as soon as humanly possible! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088258/
Thou (child) shalt realize that thou shalt be old someday, and thy dislikes of thy body shalt be entirely different ones. Thou shalt not attach to thy judgments of thine one and only body.
Thou shalt be better at making sure thou hath sent out the correct version, without the typos, but oh well!
Thou shalt use thy turn signals whilst driving.
Thou shalt, whenever possible, choose to walk or take public transportation instead of driving.
An addendum to number 7: Thou shalt consume dark chocolate daily, preferably with coffee.
I do that, at breakfast. Except if children are visiting. Then I behave myself and make cocoa for them.
So you discovered the addenda lost to history when Moses dropped the third tablet?
All thanks to Mel Brooks’ guidance 🙏
Agreed. I wrote up a version last summer as rules for the Berkshires.
Thou shalt purchase four lawn tickets to JT and attempt to resell these online whence thou realizith that thou hath Covid on July 4th.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, apart from that of JT.
Thou shalt not take the name JT in vain. Nor that of AG—Arlo Guthrie—though ‘tis not his season.
Remember, thou must cook for thyself on Tuesdays, as the search for an open restaurant upon this day shall surely compound thy troubles and sufferings.
Honor thy small children and grandchildren but do not bear them to evening concerts or films, as loud babble from such as these shall bring down upon thy head great cursing, rather than love, from thy neighbors.
Thou shalt make every attempt to not kill beasts or crawling things with thy vehicle. Human cyclists, also, except when two of them are riding side by side on Route 7.
Thou shalt not, beginning on August 1, steal our summer joy with thy the-summer-is-nearly-over lamentations. This season hath not 40 days and 40 nights, but yea, more than twice that number.
Thou shalt not commit littering against this green earth with thy confetti, thy wayward balloons, thy nips, nor thy colorful, plastic dog poop baggies. Art thou a monster?
Thou shalt not bear false witness to thy bear sightings. That bear didst surely not weigh anywhere near 500 pounds, nor didst thou and it endure a tense stand-off. It was rather small and timid and ambled off as soon as the dog started barking.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s pool. The Green River is better anyhow. I mean the Housatonic River.
Lisa there was a really wild episode of The Daily today about school choice that made me more and more angry as it progressed. I have a preschooler so I’m not in the public school system yet, but we are heading there and I live in a fairly low income neighborhood of Los Angeles. Our public school options are god awful. Our friend whose daughter just started kindergarten said the report home every day was about the TV THEY WATCHED. I get sick to my stomach thinking about how much they’ve ruined the public schools. Because it is now standard practice at the NYT to report on things they don’t like as being a right wing issue it framed the entire debate from a conservative point of view. I would love to see the list of schools where the reporters and investors in that paper send their kids! The episode culminated in the critique of the school choice issue as being more about whether or not parents were happy vs test results or learning improvement….which of course reminded me of you. It’s a total flip flop of the way the progressives tend to frame medicalizing gender. When it comes to gender, we only care about how the patients say how they feel at any given moment not about whether or not we can provide data that they are actually doing better in their lives after transition. Conversely when it comes to schooling our children we should only care about testable results and data, parents feelings and values don’t matter in the least.
Please send link to show but, yes, the absurd battle over controlling minds in schools is not limited to one side or the other. One wants us to bed to God, the other to Gender Identity. Meanwhile, they really should learn not to stand on the left side of the escalator if we're making schools all about morals!
Here here!
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/20/podcasts/the-daily/public-schools-vouchers-education.html?smid=url-share
Oh my god, I read it as "The Daily Show," not the The Daily!
11/3(a): Thou shalt marvel at & appreciate the consequences of Deep Time.
11. Thou shalt understand & apply the scientific method.
11. Thou shalt think critically, especially about the things that you really want to be true.
10.6(b) Thou shalt accept that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
11. Thou shalt recognize that theodicy is just a contraction of “theological idiocy”, and “apologetics” is the term for all those people wasting their time trying to prove a conclusion they’ve already decided to be true.
11. Thou shalt acknowledge that atheists just disbelieve in 1 (or a small number) additional god(s) than do theists.
11. Thou shalt acknowledge that we only have One Life to Live, and that these are the Days of Our Lives.
11. Thou shalt have these 10ish commandments tattooed in mirror image upon thy foreheads if thou forgettest to abide by them.
Thou shalt be curious about your fellow man with an eye toward understanding and away from judgment. Rotate your tires should be in there somewhere as well.
My 11th commandment is about bedtime, there shall be a bedtime that gives enough sleep to every member of the family. Also, when biking, wear a helmet. Also, my dentist said children who brush and floss teeth upon arrival home from school don't get cavities--really.
Here's a rambling video by new youtuber Kelly Oliver Dougall, recently devoting her counseling hours to trans widows, siblings of trans identifying family members, children of and co-workers of demanding trans identified individuals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06KGYUogdB8
Addendum to #7: “or open thy phone” !!!
11. Hmmmm . . . . 11. It's one louder, remember.
Oh, and if the above leaves you scratching your head, have I got one fantastic spoof documentary (or "Rockumentary") to insist you must watch as soon as humanly possible! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088258/
Of many contenders, this may be my favorite. “Thou shalt come around to appreciating the phrase: ‘It is what it is.’” ❤️
Thou (child) shalt realize that thou shalt be old someday, and thy dislikes of thy body shalt be entirely different ones. Thou shalt not attach to thy judgments of thine one and only body.
#11 is #7 but in all caps.
I'm a big fan of the escalator commandment. (And the others, too.)
Hale, oh mighty Empress!
You are, are you not, a female?
In English, only males are called Emperor.
Females with such powers are called Empress.
Fair point!
She’s a gender critical Emperor, perhaps 🤷♂️
She is most definitely gender critical!