The Republican party is apparently the only party in existence, and therefore the only label ever worth mentioning before providing a quote. Literally everyone else is completely apolitical and their statements should be interpreted as free from bias.
It is extraordinary how the article spins everything done by Republicans in the most negative way while doing exactly the opposite for Democrats. The NYT had become no better than FOX. In fact the NYTs articles make the existence of partisan right wing news sources critical. People need to ensure they read both a left wing and a right wing newspaper to have any balance.
Yes. And the NYT is actually the more moderate one, the Comments on their trans articles tend to be very sensible. The Washington Post on the other hand has become the Daily Mail of the Left in the US.
If you ever are in the mood to joust with crazy American wokies, spend some time in the Comments section of a WaPo article on trans issues. It's an intellectual shooting gallery. They are so used to their echo chamber.
You'll eventually get showered with ad hominem and banned by the algorithm from false reports, but you'll exit feeling like the Gladiator.
The comments section of the New York Times is an underappreciated social indicator. On a range of issues — policing, crime, education, and certainly any topic related to gender ideology — readers are well aware that they're not receiving a balanced perspective, and they're not happy about it.
Editors are aware of this simmering ressentiment, but what can they do? The "Moral Clarity" model of journalism was good for business — for a while, at least. Now that it's infiltrated every aspect of the paper's coverage, beat journalists like Nikole Hannah-Jones wield veto power over the paper's ideological valence. The Times is not hostage to its readers, but rather to its own reporters.
Revealingly, the Times disabled comments on the WashU piece, as they did earlier this summer in coverage of the Jordan Neely case. A revolt in the comments section actively undermines the progressive journalist's ability to establish the narrative, and thus disabling reader comments is an editorial decision of equal, if not greater, consequence than the report itself.
I'm currently reading "Time To Think" by Hannah Barnes. Those who will not learn from the history of the collapse of the Tavistock are condemned to repeat it, as this St Louis clinic and those in and around it are certainly doing.
Truly fantastic. These subtle shifts, "teens with gender-related distress." along with the wholesale elimination of the fiction, "Sex Assigned at Birth" would greatly improve discourse on this topic.
I think Azeen Ghoyrashi is the right person to be reporting on this. She is reporting on facts and not appearing to take one side or the other but inserts enough to pop the illusion that this stuff is harmless. She is not writing an op-ed which most other pieces have been, giving her more credibility. She has written for Mother Jones and went to UC Berkeley. She has her pronouns in her LinkedIn. But TransgenderMap calls her a transphobe. The mainstream liberals can't dismiss her as a right winger or that she is partisan--she is a science reporter, and a millenial. I think this is exactly what we need.
Hello! I am a recent subscriber and love your column. Looking to crowdsource some advice. Please delete if this is the wrong forum. My second grader received her teacher assignment. I was initially unhappy with the teacher because he is new to the school. But now I am feeling apprehensive over his classroom wishlist which contain books promoting gender ideology to young kids. I did not see the list before. The rest of the books on the wish list are all about activism and social justice issues (nothing wrong with the other books) but from the list I get the sense that this teacher is an activist and he believes that gender ideology is a social justice issue that he will promote in class. I am worried because this is not something I want to introduce to my daughter at such a young age. I believe it is more appropriate for upper elementary. I like introducing issues in stages and I want to make sure she has a strong sense of the biological differences between males and females before introducing gender as a concept. I’m not sure how to go about this. I am scared that I will be labeled as bigoted. I don’t want to cause trouble. I just want my child to be transferred to another classroom
I'm not sure where you live but regardless you do need to speak up. I am someone who hates confrontation and shared your fear that I would be labeled a bigot. My biggest regret is that I did not speak up sooner, before my daughter (now almost 15) had imbibed the ideology and decided she is trans. I recommend that you listen to some of the recent episodes of Gender A Wider Lens because they have several very helpful conversations related to schools.
When I decided to bite the bullet I prepared my case carefully beforehand so I was clear on my talking points. We emphasized (1) assumption of good intent on the part of the school and the teacher (2) our scientific backgrounds which prompted us to dig into the research (3) our awareness of what is going on in Europe where things are less ferociously polarized and more focused on the medical evidence (or lack thereof).
Of course this teacher probably thinks he is fighting the good fight but he does need to made aware of the evidence and the fact that even social transition is a highly controversial intervention, especially for young kids. SEGM has some good summaries. See this article, for example: https://segm.org/current-concerns-gender-affirming-therapy-adolescents
This is the best, most thorough and insightful response imaginable. Well done, Rbl! Best of luck with your daughter. You’re clearly doing everything right, and I believe that will be enough in the end.
Your school will not likely let you switch teachers. I wonder in what context he will be reading this book. Is it for read aloud time or will he just have it on the bookshelf? I am not sure what I would do here. I am wonderingif you asked the teacher about it and said what you said (which sounds completely reasonable) would be a good place to start. Ask with curiosity and don't reveal too much about your feelings on it to get a feel.
It’s for the class wish list. So it’s not part of the actual curriculum. My worry is more that this wishlist is indicative of what type of teacher he will be: a teacher who believes that he needs to get his students to defend the causes he believes in and makes them their causes. The activist book wishlist makes me think that he will bring up these issues as much as he can.
By the way, do NOT use the word "worry" when dealing with school staff about this. It is an invitation to be dismissed for being an overemotional parent. You absolutely must come across as calm, composed, determined and not to be trifled with.
Right. You can suss out the situation by what I suggested. You don’t have grounds for switching your kid but you can do a casual inquiry. I suspect many teachers are on guard with what they say now. I also recommend making friends with other parents in the class and monitor how things unfold. You may need allies.
Talk with the principal. It will likely be the same situation in another classroom. These curricular and textbook trends and decisions are coming from above as well as from some activist teachers. If it's a school wide "vision" then it will be coming from specialist classes like library and PE too.
The thing is the curriculum is very specific. There is a textbook with units and each unit is very specific. This is out of character. No other teacher in the school had promoted this (though vice principal seems to like the superintendent’s pro trans tweets on twitter). This teacher is new and he is the only activist type in school. And my kid got this teacher! I have the worst luck ever. I am so so upset.
Sounds very upsetting!! Teachers do have to follow standards, so I really still think your best bet is the principal. If the teacher is inexperienced and/or young and a true activist, he may not be reasonable and may label you a transphobe. The principal should be more experienced and diplomatic (that what they get the bigger bucks for), and has incentive to solve rather than magnify the problem. I'm so sad parents have to deal with this! Hope you find the right teacher for your little one. Then let's all fight like hell to get these radical agendas out of public education!
Activism isn’t a great pursuit for kids either. Activism locks even adults into a fanatic mindset. Kids needs to be learning how to take in information and develop their judgment at that age and for many years beyond. Publicly asserting the truth of this or that proposition works against internal growth.
A religion is anything that provides a a sense of meaning (especially about pain), a sense of purpose, a sense of community, and ritual.
Gender theory is a religion.
1. Pain is caused by someone, somewhere being "transphobic."
2. The purpose of life is to dismantle the gender binary and free souls from bodies.
3. Everyone "queer" is a community.
4. There are ritual greetings, clothing, flags, holidays, etc.
Unfortunately, this is not a religion that plays well with others. "Transphobia" is any heresy or blasphemy against the religion, so the existence of other religions is the cause of all suffering in the world. It's a totalitarian religion.
Like the true believers of any faith, your child's teacher is probably nice enough as a person and genuinely believes that she is helping to spread TRUTH, making the world a better place. But that means aggressively proselytizing all the time.
Also, this religion tends to be weak on any academics other than reading. It follows the Paulo Friere idea that the only purpose of education is to "read the word and read the world."
You WILL be labeled as a bigot. Make peace with it. It's like "heathen" or "pagan" or "infidel". That's just what gender theory believers call anyone outside the faith.
Your options (possibly to be combined):
1. Try to get your child transferred to another class, using any excuse necessary. This may or may not be possible. It also may or may not help. Your child will be in close contact with children under heavy religious indoctrination on the playground, even if it isn't in your child's classroom. And the problem might not be limited to one classroom.
2. Do active counter-education at home. This means doing some serious study of the tactics and messages of the gender ideologues.
3. Pull your kid out. Homeschool, private school, or transfer. Obviously this has serious costs in terms of time, money, and potential social isolation.
4. Publicly call this out as religious instruction, and thus inappropriate for a school environment. Likelihood of success depends on the social environment. Have an evacuation plan in place if they target your kid.
For any of these options, I recommend reading some James Lindsay books regarding tactics. He's a bit verbose in the podcasts, but seems to have a good editor for his books.
Regarding the first option, the school has a 60% immigrant population that leans socially conservative. It is interesting that they brought the teacher to this school. I think some of the parents would be livid if they found out that the teacher has these books on his wishlist. What is interesting is all classroom wishlists have to be approved by the principal. It is not common practice for a teacher to send a classroom wishlist directly to the parents. All the wish lists come to us via the pta and never at the beginning of the year before school starts. The books he had on the wish list were added in May. I don’t think the principal even saw the wish list. What worries me though is I’ll seem crazy. There are 40+ books on the wishlist. Only maybe 4 or 5 of the books promote gender ideology. I love books and I am also the type who likes to understand who my kids have as teachers, what their interests are etc. So I went through the list book by book. I quickly got the impression that this guy was all for whatever the cause of the month is and is very “woke” for lack of a better world. There are none of the usual suspects when it comes to elementary school books. But won’t I look like I’m crazy? Who goes through a list of 40 plus books? Principal seems like a regular moderate liberal. Never got the sense that he’s super progressive (funny cuz I’m a progressive on many things just not this!). But the thing is even moderate liberals have bought into gender ideology and the ones that haven’t are too scared to say anything (I mean I am so freaking scared but I feel like I owe it to my daughter to speak up). Do you think that me being an immigrant with an accent would make the principal judge me less? I just find this entire thing bizarre and so does almost everyone in my community and country of origin. Most people simply don’t get it.
Ooh, being an immigrant will absolutely help! Be prepared to throw accusations of racism and Eurocentrism at them, if needed. Not a fun strategy, I know, but it gives you escalation dominance if you need it.
Now that I know your situation, you have a LOT more options.
Get the book Counter Wokecraft, by James Lindsay. It's short and will help you find the right strategy for your situation.
You do owe it to your daughter to speak up. Do NOT let this get entrenched. Weed it out when it's small, because it turns monstrous when fully grown.
Allies, allies, allies! The principal will completely dismiss you if you are one "worried" parent. And you will need courage to stay polite but firm with him, and allies will give you courage.
I think on this substack there are several good articles, Lisa has worried about this a lot--also head over to genspect, there are resources there, too.
as well as the pitt letter someone suggested. Good luck!
My sons second grade teacher told his class they could change their names and if any child expressed a desired name change, all other students (7 years old) needed to respect it. Within moments of this rule being announced on the first day of class a girl raised her hand and asked to be called a different name. Then 2 other girls did the same in the following months. We have inoculated our sons to know that this belief that people can change sex is like a dye that colors peoples brains, and while we do not have the dye we still care about and love those that do. My sons now come and tell us who has the dye - which teachers at their school, etc. It is an ongoing conversation. We have chosen not to take this up with the school because we don’t think it would make a difference.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don't think you're going to avoid being labeled a bigot without transferring to a different school. Remember that you are in the right and your child's welfare is at stake.
Try to find out first what your school district's views are on political activity by teachers, perhaps with an anonymous email to the superintendent, if you are in the States.
If you decide to contact the principal and/or teacher, frame the issue as neutrally as possible, be persistent but unfailingly polite. Good luck!
"I am concerned that this teacher's wishlist books signal a desire to bring teaching of strong partisan viewpoints on hot-button political topics into the classroom. A 2nd-grade classroom should be a harmonious place, not a place for controversial, partisan political activism that will upset parents and families and cause controversy in our wonderful school."
Etc., etc., etc. Position yourself as an advocate for peace, harmony and avoidance of headaches for the school and the district. Do not under any circumstances betray any sign of your personal views. Keep the language politically neutral.
heres what i would do. first find out how badly the tree is rotted. go on district website. go to district financial disclosures. see if they are paying activist consultants promoting gender ideology. check which therapy consultant they use. may have to check websites of these groups. check school clubs. be aware many clubs tricking kids into the gender ideology cult are disguising their name to appear like its not a cult club. dont sign any permission slip for any club. check next years teachers and other teachers at school. if this teacher seems to be a one off you maybe ok. its not only your kid one has to be concerned with. since gender ideology is often spread socially its necessary to think of how the school is promoting this to other students. its also necessary to think of your co-parent. if the child does become affected, many courts will side with the affirming parent in the case of a dispute. even if thats not an issue, gender ideology can be a family destroyer. the good news is your child is young and youre aware of the issue. so you have time and opportunity to offer balance. become versed in the usual gender ideology talking points and how to counter with reality. everyone's situation is different. getting away from this cult often requires moving to a different school district or even a different county. be aware that views in support of reality (gender critical) arent always supported in law and are often unwelcome. we are at a point in history where public awareness hasnt caught up to activist led efforts. as such, gender cult views are protected by law. so i woudlnt advise outing yourself or your child as being in support in of reality. at least not right away. your child could be bullied at school due to this. keep monitoring the teacher. if you check the libs of tik tok substack it explains how they have responded to some of the worse teachers lately. be aware that the goal of gender cult is to indoctrinate kids even if it means destroying the family. it does this by triangulating kids away from parents in a similar way as narcissist do. like dealing with narcissists, many of the responses you would normally take to protect your family would just backfire. its always a lose lose situation for the parent. but parents can win by being aware of the threat, learning how to counter the propaganda, and getting kids away from harmful cult environments. all of this , i know is easier said than done.
Interesting thanks. I didn’t even consider doing that type of research and even if I did I wouldn’t know where to start. I will definitely do what you suggest. A bit of background. We live in a liberal school district. Our county votes democrat and we have very few republicans. When they exist they are closeted. The superintendent sends us emails about affirming the rights of trans kids and has gone all in with gender ideology. The school my kids are enrolled in is a lottery school that you have to apply to. It has an old school pedagogy in that it focuses on the basics - reading, writing and math. It was one of the first schools in the state to stick to a phonics based old school reading curriculum when progressive education was introduced in the 70s. It focuses a lot of behavior and character. As a result it attracts a certain type of family. It attracts families that care a lot about academics, immigrants, those who are stricter in their parenting, and parents who are overly involved (you have to apply to get in so you have to be the motivated type). A lot of the families tend to be socially conservative (much more than me). The teachers, who have been there forever because there is very little teacher turnover, are quite old school in that they don’t talk a lot about their home life. No teacher has pronouns in their bio. They talk a lot about diversity (racial and ethnic) because they have to. The student population is diverse. Only 30% of the students are white and the student body comes from over 80 different countries. This is the LAST school you would expect to have a teacher embracing gender ideology. It is almost as if the teacher knew what type of school this is and what type of parents send their kids there, and is a mission to come and convert our kids. Like an actual religious missionary traveling to a country to convert others to his or her religion. He’s either that or clueless. But given the very clear pedagogy of the kids I suspect it’s the former.
One other thing. What if I talk to principal and 1)
he says that well all these books are saying is that trans kids exist. Are you denying they exist? Would you say the same thing about a book about a black kid or a girl with a head covering? Book shows that you should just be tolerant and accepting. It doesn’t tell kids to change their gender. This is one of the books Limited-time deal: You Need to Chill!: A trans pride and acceptance children's book https://a.co/d/jeelo3d . How would I respond to that ?
"You see, this is exactly the kind of acrimonious debate we're trying to avoid. I'm not here to debate with you. I'm here to promote harmony in our school, and you just provided a great example of the disharmony this brings."
You aren't going to get anywhere trying to debate the nitty-gritty of the trans issue with a principal. Forget about that. Just focus on how much trouble it could cause for the school. And get some allies ASAP! Bring them with you to the meeting! Imply to the principal that you speak for others who are concerned.
"Needlessly controversial", "Nothing to do with the curriculum", "Likely to provoke controversy and disharmony in our school community", "Do you want our school to end up on Libs Of TikTok because one teacher took it upon himself to show the world how he's going to enlighten his students about something that's not even part of what he's supposed to be teaching?"
Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate your advice. This is new territory for me. A few things. The school my child is in rigorous academically and attracts a certain “type” of family, many of them immigrants who come to give their kids a better life. A large percentage of the school is made up of recent immigrants who are socially conservative. I myself am an immigrant and not sure if i should say this is a contentious issue in my community and I don’t want my child to be in a position where she is caught in between two opposing sides? Another issue I’m having is the teacher is openly gay and I’m super worried that admin will think I’m homophobic. I am not. I am not concerned about the teacher being gay. I’m concerned about the book list which has books promoting gender ideology. We did try asking for a teacher change for another reason (we wanted a different teacher who we thought would be a good fit) but were politely shot down (this was before I saw the book list). I think I am going to start with the principal and request that this meeting be private due to the sensitive nature of the topic. I am so nervous about this and so upset that I have been put in this position. Never expected this to happen in our school. The school has good teacher retention and most of the teachers are older and really aren’t attuned to this new world of gender ideology and affirmation so we have never ever had to deal with any issue like this before. School board & superintendent are super liberal so they won’t be helpful. I will read the links you all sent. If someone has successfully argued for a change of classroom please let me know. I don’t want to cause trouble. I just want to extract my daughter from this situation and go about my life.
Sorry, but you are not going to be able to avoid "causing trouble". The moment you request another meeting, you will be identified as a problem parent. Get used to it.
You'll have to decide if your child's well-being is worth your discomfort. It'll be much, much easier if you can find allies willing to stand with you. Each ally doubles your influence.
Given the situation ("A large percentage of the school is made up of recent immigrants who are socially conservative") I think you will find many allies in other parents. Per your comments about worrying about coming across as homophobic, you may want to familiarize yourself with the divisions within the LGBTQ+ community, namely the LG and B having very different interests from the rest. Example: it's now considered transphobic for a lesbian (in the traditional sense of the word) to refuse to consider dating transwomen who identify as lesbians. Check out: https://lgbtcouragecoalition.substack.com/
I will say that even in my extremely woke city at an independent school that has truly embraced gender ideology, the administration have been open to listening to our concerns. We have been able to have civil, respectful dialogue about these difficult topics.
Note the high number (8%) of surgeries that have been done on patients 12-18. If I understand this article correctly, 8% of 48,000 would be 3840 surgeries. Also note that nearly half of these 48,000 surgeries have been done on patients 19-30. A 30 year old is very different than a nineteen year old, more of a breakdown would be interesting to know.
Great edit! It's a large step in the right direction for the Times, but still full of trans-apologia. Even so, no doubt the TRAs and wokies on the Times staff are going apeshit. Will they go on strike I wonder? It's too bad that Comments aren't enabled on the article.
Other errata in the article:
--Saying that the study showing 30% desistance after 4 years was one of the "small" ones when it was actually the largest study of them all (952 patients).
--Heavily de-emphasizing the fact that kids are routinely being prescribed blockers or hormones after 1 visit, and that both inside and outside therapists are giving recommendations after 1 brief session.
On the other hand, give them credit for including mention of the idea that the TRAs try most desperately to suppress: that believing oneself to be trans could be a result of pre-existing mental illness, rather than their unfulfilled trans destiny being the cause, or being unrelated.
"The small Midwestern gender clinic" sounds so cute, innocent... A quaint Midwestern place with kind doctors. If THAT's a small clinic, I wonder what the medium size or large look like.
Excellent points. I wish they'd allowed comments on it. New York Times readers have proven themselves to be both rational and thoughtful in their responses to articles about childhood transition like these.
A few more picyune edits I would add. They put so many "transgender" people in this that it's hard to find them all, like a "where's Waldo" where Waldo is all over the place.
"Other parts of the St. Louis hospital were also seeing more [add "young patients with gender distress," and delete] transgender patients."
"The E.R. staff, she wrote in an email, had been seeing more [add "young patients with gender distress," and delete] transgender adolescents experiencing mental health crises,"
"Missouri’s ban of ["medical interventions to create the appearance of the opposite sex" and delete} gender care for minors will begin on Aug. 28"
"Dr. John Daniels was the sole endocrinologist in St. Louis prescribing hormones to [trans-identified" and delete] transgender adults ." [I was okay to say "transgender adults" to describe Jamie Reed's spouse, since the spouse has already transitioned.]
Also, with respect to Heidi's "daughter," I would not write "daughter," but would go with a neutral term like "child." Further, it would be worth noting that, although the serious complication this child experienced may be a result of a combination of synthetic cross-sex hormones and other medical issues, the clinic chose to provide such synthetic cross-sex hormones despite the other medical issues.
Again, with respect to Jamie Reed's "spouse," I would use that more neutral term rather than "husband." I believe Jamie Reed identifies as a lesbian, and her spouse is a female who chose to transition, but I'm not so sure that turns this person into a "husband."
I'm also wondering if gender treatments should perhaps be in quotations. It's perhaps a more neutral term than "gender care," but still implies that there might ever be a need for "treatments" relating to "gender," which is a questionable idea.
Anyway, your edits were meaningful and helpful, and the article is at least a start toward letting the world know that detransition is a real issue, and that at least some teens are indeed being rushed to medicalization. It's not perfect, but it's moving in the right direction.
I am ok with Jamie Reed's husband , if that's what she said in her interview, out of respect and gratitude for her and her family. She must have paid a heavy price within her community to come out - and it looks like her spouse stood by her through this.
Thank you, Lisa, as always! There's so much here that needs unpacked on the left and by the media: what is gender, anyway? what are we really talking about when we talk about "gender care" (I suggested to Azeen that perhaps what we need is a "gender care" version of the WaPo article about what guns do to the body)? and - surprise - maybe the Republicans, in aligning on this issue with Western Europe, are onto something...
The Republican party is apparently the only party in existence, and therefore the only label ever worth mentioning before providing a quote. Literally everyone else is completely apolitical and their statements should be interpreted as free from bias.
I hope you’re sending these comments to the editor of the NYT. They are excellent points!
It is extraordinary how the article spins everything done by Republicans in the most negative way while doing exactly the opposite for Democrats. The NYT had become no better than FOX. In fact the NYTs articles make the existence of partisan right wing news sources critical. People need to ensure they read both a left wing and a right wing newspaper to have any balance.
This won’t be partisan enough for the trans activists however.
No. Saw on twitter Glaad accused this article as trans bashing
Yes. And the NYT is actually the more moderate one, the Comments on their trans articles tend to be very sensible. The Washington Post on the other hand has become the Daily Mail of the Left in the US.
If you ever are in the mood to joust with crazy American wokies, spend some time in the Comments section of a WaPo article on trans issues. It's an intellectual shooting gallery. They are so used to their echo chamber.
You'll eventually get showered with ad hominem and banned by the algorithm from false reports, but you'll exit feeling like the Gladiator.
The comments section of the New York Times is an underappreciated social indicator. On a range of issues — policing, crime, education, and certainly any topic related to gender ideology — readers are well aware that they're not receiving a balanced perspective, and they're not happy about it.
Editors are aware of this simmering ressentiment, but what can they do? The "Moral Clarity" model of journalism was good for business — for a while, at least. Now that it's infiltrated every aspect of the paper's coverage, beat journalists like Nikole Hannah-Jones wield veto power over the paper's ideological valence. The Times is not hostage to its readers, but rather to its own reporters.
Revealingly, the Times disabled comments on the WashU piece, as they did earlier this summer in coverage of the Jordan Neely case. A revolt in the comments section actively undermines the progressive journalist's ability to establish the narrative, and thus disabling reader comments is an editorial decision of equal, if not greater, consequence than the report itself.
One patient emailed the clinic, in January 2020, to say they had detransitioned and were seeking a voice coach for their masculinized voice.
The pronouns should be changed to "she". She detransitioned, why does the NYT use "they" for her?
I had the same thought.
Fantastic, editing, Lisa.
I'm currently reading "Time To Think" by Hannah Barnes. Those who will not learn from the history of the collapse of the Tavistock are condemned to repeat it, as this St Louis clinic and those in and around it are certainly doing.
I'd bet this is happening at many clinics, including Seattle Children's Clinic, which also relies on outside therapists.
Truly fantastic. These subtle shifts, "teens with gender-related distress." along with the wholesale elimination of the fiction, "Sex Assigned at Birth" would greatly improve discourse on this topic.
I think Azeen Ghoyrashi is the right person to be reporting on this. She is reporting on facts and not appearing to take one side or the other but inserts enough to pop the illusion that this stuff is harmless. She is not writing an op-ed which most other pieces have been, giving her more credibility. She has written for Mother Jones and went to UC Berkeley. She has her pronouns in her LinkedIn. But TransgenderMap calls her a transphobe. The mainstream liberals can't dismiss her as a right winger or that she is partisan--she is a science reporter, and a millenial. I think this is exactly what we need.
Hello! I am a recent subscriber and love your column. Looking to crowdsource some advice. Please delete if this is the wrong forum. My second grader received her teacher assignment. I was initially unhappy with the teacher because he is new to the school. But now I am feeling apprehensive over his classroom wishlist which contain books promoting gender ideology to young kids. I did not see the list before. The rest of the books on the wish list are all about activism and social justice issues (nothing wrong with the other books) but from the list I get the sense that this teacher is an activist and he believes that gender ideology is a social justice issue that he will promote in class. I am worried because this is not something I want to introduce to my daughter at such a young age. I believe it is more appropriate for upper elementary. I like introducing issues in stages and I want to make sure she has a strong sense of the biological differences between males and females before introducing gender as a concept. I’m not sure how to go about this. I am scared that I will be labeled as bigoted. I don’t want to cause trouble. I just want my child to be transferred to another classroom
I'm not sure where you live but regardless you do need to speak up. I am someone who hates confrontation and shared your fear that I would be labeled a bigot. My biggest regret is that I did not speak up sooner, before my daughter (now almost 15) had imbibed the ideology and decided she is trans. I recommend that you listen to some of the recent episodes of Gender A Wider Lens because they have several very helpful conversations related to schools.
When I decided to bite the bullet I prepared my case carefully beforehand so I was clear on my talking points. We emphasized (1) assumption of good intent on the part of the school and the teacher (2) our scientific backgrounds which prompted us to dig into the research (3) our awareness of what is going on in Europe where things are less ferociously polarized and more focused on the medical evidence (or lack thereof).
Of course this teacher probably thinks he is fighting the good fight but he does need to made aware of the evidence and the fact that even social transition is a highly controversial intervention, especially for young kids. SEGM has some good summaries. See this article, for example: https://segm.org/current-concerns-gender-affirming-therapy-adolescents
There's also a good article in PITT today: https://pitt.substack.com/p/an-open-letter-to-a-school-board/comments
This is really useful thanks
This is the best, most thorough and insightful response imaginable. Well done, Rbl! Best of luck with your daughter. You’re clearly doing everything right, and I believe that will be enough in the end.
This is great thanks
Your school will not likely let you switch teachers. I wonder in what context he will be reading this book. Is it for read aloud time or will he just have it on the bookshelf? I am not sure what I would do here. I am wonderingif you asked the teacher about it and said what you said (which sounds completely reasonable) would be a good place to start. Ask with curiosity and don't reveal too much about your feelings on it to get a feel.
It’s for the class wish list. So it’s not part of the actual curriculum. My worry is more that this wishlist is indicative of what type of teacher he will be: a teacher who believes that he needs to get his students to defend the causes he believes in and makes them their causes. The activist book wishlist makes me think that he will bring up these issues as much as he can.
By the way, do NOT use the word "worry" when dealing with school staff about this. It is an invitation to be dismissed for being an overemotional parent. You absolutely must come across as calm, composed, determined and not to be trifled with.
Right. You can suss out the situation by what I suggested. You don’t have grounds for switching your kid but you can do a casual inquiry. I suspect many teachers are on guard with what they say now. I also recommend making friends with other parents in the class and monitor how things unfold. You may need allies.
Good luck with that situation. I hope you can get your daughter into a different school or class!
Talk with the principal. It will likely be the same situation in another classroom. These curricular and textbook trends and decisions are coming from above as well as from some activist teachers. If it's a school wide "vision" then it will be coming from specialist classes like library and PE too.
The thing is the curriculum is very specific. There is a textbook with units and each unit is very specific. This is out of character. No other teacher in the school had promoted this (though vice principal seems to like the superintendent’s pro trans tweets on twitter). This teacher is new and he is the only activist type in school. And my kid got this teacher! I have the worst luck ever. I am so so upset.
Sounds very upsetting!! Teachers do have to follow standards, so I really still think your best bet is the principal. If the teacher is inexperienced and/or young and a true activist, he may not be reasonable and may label you a transphobe. The principal should be more experienced and diplomatic (that what they get the bigger bucks for), and has incentive to solve rather than magnify the problem. I'm so sad parents have to deal with this! Hope you find the right teacher for your little one. Then let's all fight like hell to get these radical agendas out of public education!
Activism isn’t a great pursuit for kids either. Activism locks even adults into a fanatic mindset. Kids needs to be learning how to take in information and develop their judgment at that age and for many years beyond. Publicly asserting the truth of this or that proposition works against internal growth.
For kids, that is. For some adults too, of course, if they haven’t thought through their positions well enough yet.
A religion is anything that provides a a sense of meaning (especially about pain), a sense of purpose, a sense of community, and ritual.
Gender theory is a religion.
1. Pain is caused by someone, somewhere being "transphobic."
2. The purpose of life is to dismantle the gender binary and free souls from bodies.
3. Everyone "queer" is a community.
4. There are ritual greetings, clothing, flags, holidays, etc.
Unfortunately, this is not a religion that plays well with others. "Transphobia" is any heresy or blasphemy against the religion, so the existence of other religions is the cause of all suffering in the world. It's a totalitarian religion.
Like the true believers of any faith, your child's teacher is probably nice enough as a person and genuinely believes that she is helping to spread TRUTH, making the world a better place. But that means aggressively proselytizing all the time.
Also, this religion tends to be weak on any academics other than reading. It follows the Paulo Friere idea that the only purpose of education is to "read the word and read the world."
You WILL be labeled as a bigot. Make peace with it. It's like "heathen" or "pagan" or "infidel". That's just what gender theory believers call anyone outside the faith.
Your options (possibly to be combined):
1. Try to get your child transferred to another class, using any excuse necessary. This may or may not be possible. It also may or may not help. Your child will be in close contact with children under heavy religious indoctrination on the playground, even if it isn't in your child's classroom. And the problem might not be limited to one classroom.
2. Do active counter-education at home. This means doing some serious study of the tactics and messages of the gender ideologues.
3. Pull your kid out. Homeschool, private school, or transfer. Obviously this has serious costs in terms of time, money, and potential social isolation.
4. Publicly call this out as religious instruction, and thus inappropriate for a school environment. Likelihood of success depends on the social environment. Have an evacuation plan in place if they target your kid.
For any of these options, I recommend reading some James Lindsay books regarding tactics. He's a bit verbose in the podcasts, but seems to have a good editor for his books.
Sorry none of the options are easy or good.
Regarding the first option, the school has a 60% immigrant population that leans socially conservative. It is interesting that they brought the teacher to this school. I think some of the parents would be livid if they found out that the teacher has these books on his wishlist. What is interesting is all classroom wishlists have to be approved by the principal. It is not common practice for a teacher to send a classroom wishlist directly to the parents. All the wish lists come to us via the pta and never at the beginning of the year before school starts. The books he had on the wish list were added in May. I don’t think the principal even saw the wish list. What worries me though is I’ll seem crazy. There are 40+ books on the wishlist. Only maybe 4 or 5 of the books promote gender ideology. I love books and I am also the type who likes to understand who my kids have as teachers, what their interests are etc. So I went through the list book by book. I quickly got the impression that this guy was all for whatever the cause of the month is and is very “woke” for lack of a better world. There are none of the usual suspects when it comes to elementary school books. But won’t I look like I’m crazy? Who goes through a list of 40 plus books? Principal seems like a regular moderate liberal. Never got the sense that he’s super progressive (funny cuz I’m a progressive on many things just not this!). But the thing is even moderate liberals have bought into gender ideology and the ones that haven’t are too scared to say anything (I mean I am so freaking scared but I feel like I owe it to my daughter to speak up). Do you think that me being an immigrant with an accent would make the principal judge me less? I just find this entire thing bizarre and so does almost everyone in my community and country of origin. Most people simply don’t get it.
Ooh, being an immigrant will absolutely help! Be prepared to throw accusations of racism and Eurocentrism at them, if needed. Not a fun strategy, I know, but it gives you escalation dominance if you need it.
Now that I know your situation, you have a LOT more options.
Get the book Counter Wokecraft, by James Lindsay. It's short and will help you find the right strategy for your situation.
You do owe it to your daughter to speak up. Do NOT let this get entrenched. Weed it out when it's small, because it turns monstrous when fully grown.
Thank you both. I will get the book.
Allies, allies, allies! The principal will completely dismiss you if you are one "worried" parent. And you will need courage to stay polite but firm with him, and allies will give you courage.
I think on this substack there are several good articles, Lisa has worried about this a lot--also head over to genspect, there are resources there, too.
as well as the pitt letter someone suggested. Good luck!
My sons second grade teacher told his class they could change their names and if any child expressed a desired name change, all other students (7 years old) needed to respect it. Within moments of this rule being announced on the first day of class a girl raised her hand and asked to be called a different name. Then 2 other girls did the same in the following months. We have inoculated our sons to know that this belief that people can change sex is like a dye that colors peoples brains, and while we do not have the dye we still care about and love those that do. My sons now come and tell us who has the dye - which teachers at their school, etc. It is an ongoing conversation. We have chosen not to take this up with the school because we don’t think it would make a difference.
This is my worry. That he’s this kind of teacher.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don't think you're going to avoid being labeled a bigot without transferring to a different school. Remember that you are in the right and your child's welfare is at stake.
Try to find out first what your school district's views are on political activity by teachers, perhaps with an anonymous email to the superintendent, if you are in the States.
If you decide to contact the principal and/or teacher, frame the issue as neutrally as possible, be persistent but unfailingly polite. Good luck!
How? Would love some advice on how to frame it neutrally. Thank you.
"I am concerned that this teacher's wishlist books signal a desire to bring teaching of strong partisan viewpoints on hot-button political topics into the classroom. A 2nd-grade classroom should be a harmonious place, not a place for controversial, partisan political activism that will upset parents and families and cause controversy in our wonderful school."
Etc., etc., etc. Position yourself as an advocate for peace, harmony and avoidance of headaches for the school and the district. Do not under any circumstances betray any sign of your personal views. Keep the language politically neutral.
Thank you! This is great
heres what i would do. first find out how badly the tree is rotted. go on district website. go to district financial disclosures. see if they are paying activist consultants promoting gender ideology. check which therapy consultant they use. may have to check websites of these groups. check school clubs. be aware many clubs tricking kids into the gender ideology cult are disguising their name to appear like its not a cult club. dont sign any permission slip for any club. check next years teachers and other teachers at school. if this teacher seems to be a one off you maybe ok. its not only your kid one has to be concerned with. since gender ideology is often spread socially its necessary to think of how the school is promoting this to other students. its also necessary to think of your co-parent. if the child does become affected, many courts will side with the affirming parent in the case of a dispute. even if thats not an issue, gender ideology can be a family destroyer. the good news is your child is young and youre aware of the issue. so you have time and opportunity to offer balance. become versed in the usual gender ideology talking points and how to counter with reality. everyone's situation is different. getting away from this cult often requires moving to a different school district or even a different county. be aware that views in support of reality (gender critical) arent always supported in law and are often unwelcome. we are at a point in history where public awareness hasnt caught up to activist led efforts. as such, gender cult views are protected by law. so i woudlnt advise outing yourself or your child as being in support in of reality. at least not right away. your child could be bullied at school due to this. keep monitoring the teacher. if you check the libs of tik tok substack it explains how they have responded to some of the worse teachers lately. be aware that the goal of gender cult is to indoctrinate kids even if it means destroying the family. it does this by triangulating kids away from parents in a similar way as narcissist do. like dealing with narcissists, many of the responses you would normally take to protect your family would just backfire. its always a lose lose situation for the parent. but parents can win by being aware of the threat, learning how to counter the propaganda, and getting kids away from harmful cult environments. all of this , i know is easier said than done.
Interesting thanks. I didn’t even consider doing that type of research and even if I did I wouldn’t know where to start. I will definitely do what you suggest. A bit of background. We live in a liberal school district. Our county votes democrat and we have very few republicans. When they exist they are closeted. The superintendent sends us emails about affirming the rights of trans kids and has gone all in with gender ideology. The school my kids are enrolled in is a lottery school that you have to apply to. It has an old school pedagogy in that it focuses on the basics - reading, writing and math. It was one of the first schools in the state to stick to a phonics based old school reading curriculum when progressive education was introduced in the 70s. It focuses a lot of behavior and character. As a result it attracts a certain type of family. It attracts families that care a lot about academics, immigrants, those who are stricter in their parenting, and parents who are overly involved (you have to apply to get in so you have to be the motivated type). A lot of the families tend to be socially conservative (much more than me). The teachers, who have been there forever because there is very little teacher turnover, are quite old school in that they don’t talk a lot about their home life. No teacher has pronouns in their bio. They talk a lot about diversity (racial and ethnic) because they have to. The student population is diverse. Only 30% of the students are white and the student body comes from over 80 different countries. This is the LAST school you would expect to have a teacher embracing gender ideology. It is almost as if the teacher knew what type of school this is and what type of parents send their kids there, and is a mission to come and convert our kids. Like an actual religious missionary traveling to a country to convert others to his or her religion. He’s either that or clueless. But given the very clear pedagogy of the kids I suspect it’s the former.
One other thing. What if I talk to principal and 1)
he says that well all these books are saying is that trans kids exist. Are you denying they exist? Would you say the same thing about a book about a black kid or a girl with a head covering? Book shows that you should just be tolerant and accepting. It doesn’t tell kids to change their gender. This is one of the books Limited-time deal: You Need to Chill!: A trans pride and acceptance children's book https://a.co/d/jeelo3d . How would I respond to that ?
"You see, this is exactly the kind of acrimonious debate we're trying to avoid. I'm not here to debate with you. I'm here to promote harmony in our school, and you just provided a great example of the disharmony this brings."
You aren't going to get anywhere trying to debate the nitty-gritty of the trans issue with a principal. Forget about that. Just focus on how much trouble it could cause for the school. And get some allies ASAP! Bring them with you to the meeting! Imply to the principal that you speak for others who are concerned.
"Needlessly controversial", "Nothing to do with the curriculum", "Likely to provoke controversy and disharmony in our school community", "Do you want our school to end up on Libs Of TikTok because one teacher took it upon himself to show the world how he's going to enlighten his students about something that's not even part of what he's supposed to be teaching?"
Thank you thank you! This is great.
Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate your advice. This is new territory for me. A few things. The school my child is in rigorous academically and attracts a certain “type” of family, many of them immigrants who come to give their kids a better life. A large percentage of the school is made up of recent immigrants who are socially conservative. I myself am an immigrant and not sure if i should say this is a contentious issue in my community and I don’t want my child to be in a position where she is caught in between two opposing sides? Another issue I’m having is the teacher is openly gay and I’m super worried that admin will think I’m homophobic. I am not. I am not concerned about the teacher being gay. I’m concerned about the book list which has books promoting gender ideology. We did try asking for a teacher change for another reason (we wanted a different teacher who we thought would be a good fit) but were politely shot down (this was before I saw the book list). I think I am going to start with the principal and request that this meeting be private due to the sensitive nature of the topic. I am so nervous about this and so upset that I have been put in this position. Never expected this to happen in our school. The school has good teacher retention and most of the teachers are older and really aren’t attuned to this new world of gender ideology and affirmation so we have never ever had to deal with any issue like this before. School board & superintendent are super liberal so they won’t be helpful. I will read the links you all sent. If someone has successfully argued for a change of classroom please let me know. I don’t want to cause trouble. I just want to extract my daughter from this situation and go about my life.
Sorry, but you are not going to be able to avoid "causing trouble". The moment you request another meeting, you will be identified as a problem parent. Get used to it.
You'll have to decide if your child's well-being is worth your discomfort. It'll be much, much easier if you can find allies willing to stand with you. Each ally doubles your influence.
Given the situation ("A large percentage of the school is made up of recent immigrants who are socially conservative") I think you will find many allies in other parents. Per your comments about worrying about coming across as homophobic, you may want to familiarize yourself with the divisions within the LGBTQ+ community, namely the LG and B having very different interests from the rest. Example: it's now considered transphobic for a lesbian (in the traditional sense of the word) to refuse to consider dating transwomen who identify as lesbians. Check out: https://lgbtcouragecoalition.substack.com/
I will say that even in my extremely woke city at an independent school that has truly embraced gender ideology, the administration have been open to listening to our concerns. We have been able to have civil, respectful dialogue about these difficult topics.
Thanks. That’s good to know. Will check out the link.
This from the NYT today too, based on a new JAMA report about the increase in gender surgeries:
https://archive.ph/rIqpz
Note the high number (8%) of surgeries that have been done on patients 12-18. If I understand this article correctly, 8% of 48,000 would be 3840 surgeries. Also note that nearly half of these 48,000 surgeries have been done on patients 19-30. A 30 year old is very different than a nineteen year old, more of a breakdown would be interesting to know.
Here's the cited journal study:
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2808707
Great edit! It's a large step in the right direction for the Times, but still full of trans-apologia. Even so, no doubt the TRAs and wokies on the Times staff are going apeshit. Will they go on strike I wonder? It's too bad that Comments aren't enabled on the article.
Other errata in the article:
--Saying that the study showing 30% desistance after 4 years was one of the "small" ones when it was actually the largest study of them all (952 patients).
--Heavily de-emphasizing the fact that kids are routinely being prescribed blockers or hormones after 1 visit, and that both inside and outside therapists are giving recommendations after 1 brief session.
On the other hand, give them credit for including mention of the idea that the TRAs try most desperately to suppress: that believing oneself to be trans could be a result of pre-existing mental illness, rather than their unfulfilled trans destiny being the cause, or being unrelated.
"The small Midwestern gender clinic" sounds so cute, innocent... A quaint Midwestern place with kind doctors. If THAT's a small clinic, I wonder what the medium size or large look like.
Right? I searched and searched for the ability to comment to no avail.
Excellent points. I wish they'd allowed comments on it. New York Times readers have proven themselves to be both rational and thoughtful in their responses to articles about childhood transition like these.
Thank you, made me feel just a bit better with your edits. by the way - there is no way to comment on the article, ugh!
A few more picyune edits I would add. They put so many "transgender" people in this that it's hard to find them all, like a "where's Waldo" where Waldo is all over the place.
"Other parts of the St. Louis hospital were also seeing more [add "young patients with gender distress," and delete] transgender patients."
"The E.R. staff, she wrote in an email, had been seeing more [add "young patients with gender distress," and delete] transgender adolescents experiencing mental health crises,"
"Missouri’s ban of ["medical interventions to create the appearance of the opposite sex" and delete} gender care for minors will begin on Aug. 28"
"Dr. John Daniels was the sole endocrinologist in St. Louis prescribing hormones to [trans-identified" and delete] transgender adults ." [I was okay to say "transgender adults" to describe Jamie Reed's spouse, since the spouse has already transitioned.]
Also, with respect to Heidi's "daughter," I would not write "daughter," but would go with a neutral term like "child." Further, it would be worth noting that, although the serious complication this child experienced may be a result of a combination of synthetic cross-sex hormones and other medical issues, the clinic chose to provide such synthetic cross-sex hormones despite the other medical issues.
Again, with respect to Jamie Reed's "spouse," I would use that more neutral term rather than "husband." I believe Jamie Reed identifies as a lesbian, and her spouse is a female who chose to transition, but I'm not so sure that turns this person into a "husband."
I'm also wondering if gender treatments should perhaps be in quotations. It's perhaps a more neutral term than "gender care," but still implies that there might ever be a need for "treatments" relating to "gender," which is a questionable idea.
Anyway, your edits were meaningful and helpful, and the article is at least a start toward letting the world know that detransition is a real issue, and that at least some teens are indeed being rushed to medicalization. It's not perfect, but it's moving in the right direction.
I am ok with Jamie Reed's husband , if that's what she said in her interview, out of respect and gratitude for her and her family. She must have paid a heavy price within her community to come out - and it looks like her spouse stood by her through this.
Fair point. If indeed she referred to her spouse as her husband in her interview, then it was fair to use that term to describe this person.
Thank you, Lisa, as always! There's so much here that needs unpacked on the left and by the media: what is gender, anyway? what are we really talking about when we talk about "gender care" (I suggested to Azeen that perhaps what we need is a "gender care" version of the WaPo article about what guns do to the body)? and - surprise - maybe the Republicans, in aligning on this issue with Western Europe, are onto something...