Thanks for writing this, Lisa. I relate so much to this. Even if we can say “tell me more” to understand where they’re coming from, it’s hard not to sound like a kook when we start to share everything we know about this gender mess. I feel like I must look like that murderboard meme of Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia—red yarn connecting pictures of Martin Rothblatt to Jennifer Bilek to Richard Levine and Kate Strangio & the HRC.
I’d love to hear your ideas about how to talk about this once the gate has lifted a crack. How do we open it further? I try to stick to one big point depending on their interests—like fairness in sports, or not medicalizing kids, or not legitimizing fetishes for perverts, but I’d love to hear more ideas.
LOL -- Oh how I can relate! Girl! I recently had a (therapist) colleague stop me mid-sentence to ask if I've seen "Homeland" (for those who haven't, the Claire Danes character is bipolar and there are similar scenes of her sleepless and looking wild eyed as she connects all the dots with the red yarn) --- it's truly maddening to be looked at like the "crazy one" when sharing about this crazy-making upside down reality we are in . . . deeming us crazy women is one of the oldest plays in the patriarchy's book and I hate that I can't engage in spoken communication on this topic yet without appearing to be a trope.
I also relate- like standing outside myself and looking at me talking about what I know about this harmful ideology- and thinking- they must think I'm off with a pixie or two!
I'd also like to know how to share the info when the gate lifts just a little
There’s a part 2 to this. What happens when you think you have made some progress in a conversation only to discover next time it comes up with this person, they seem to have completely forgotten what you’ve said and are back to believing the ideology? I have at least four close friends where this has happened. I know it’s not just me being an ineffective talker as others have mentioned this. I think it’s due to being surrounded by a society pushing this ideology and that psychological need to ‘fit in’ and conform to the ‘norm’. I have one friend who has said ‘Huh, multiple friends of mine have said what you said. My gay friends in San Francisco all say this to me. Maybe there’s something to what you say.’ (Ya think?!) And after at least four conversations, she still doesn’t get it. And she’s about to be our town’s next mayor! Part of me is tempted to just buy her a book to read!
Yes, yes, yes. People find it difficult to buck the cultural hegemony particularly if their identity is tribally affiliated.
I had the same experience with a good friend, very smart. I explained how contagion was driving young people to trans identification, how puberty blockers were experimental and how when administered early and followed up with cross sex hormones will result in infertility. How gender identity was an incoherent unproven belief system. He seemed to agree with my points then at the end sighed and said 'its complicated'. My guess is he's so identified with being a lefty and isn't affected personally so he's not able to go there in his head. Infuriating...
That's pretty funny. But I have had the same experience and also considered buying friends a book or two. I decided it was likely to be a waste of money.
I can relate to your situation (luckily none of my friends have ever run for mayor!) --so, best of luck! I posted above just now, before reading your comment -- try suggesting they read a good article, in case a book may be too much to digest at once. The story of Keira Bell (several years ago, in Persuasion iirc), or possibly one of Corinna Cohn's recent articles, the one on Substack from a week or two ago couldn't not affect anyone with even half a heart. And of course, direct them to Lisa's Substack. She's smart, reasonable, and down to earth. Reading the words of someone who can talk from personal experience and then write about it, can be very affecting and effective.
All great suggestions, thank you! She loves podcasts so I sent her a few Wider Lens episodes in the past … she said she listened to them but still … glazed eyes. She just got whackered by a bunch of borderline aggressive pro hamas activists at a public meeting so hopefully she realizes how on the edge of insanity this all is as a lot of them are also trans. They just painted the sidewalk in trans pride colors (looks terrible) and said to her ‘Not good enough! We expect more from you. Educate yourself!’
That’s a common real world situation and I do admire your sensitivity and empathy; there is a caveat though. Some people are not that amenable to rational arguments and when I hear theist it rings alarm bells. I suppose one way to handle it would be to not argue about her story but tell her another story, perhaps about a person who was led astray by the GI cult, and see how she responds.
I saw a wonderful and genuinely productive conversation in the comments on an Economist ad on Facebook of all places where this happened wonderfully. A woman was able to talk about her friends experience detransitioning in a way that was kind and open. She said something along the lines of “instead of calling out, I think it’s important to call in all voices into the conversation. We should listen to those who have happily transitioned and also those who regret it so that we can find the best options for people and they can make truly informed decisions for themselves.”
Thank you so much Lisa for writing about this. I feel surrounded and overwhelmed by this, too. It’s Pride month, and my progressive employee is pushing all manner of “trans kids need protection” junk, assuming of course that we all feel the same way.
I can certainly tell you what not to do - what I did when my sister's sister-in-law noted how "wonderful" it is that we now have kids that are using "they" pronouns, and 2-year-olds can really be themselves. (Yes, she believes 2-year-olds can tell their parents who they "really" are.) She was quite sincere in her beliefs, and she is a sweet (and also religious) person.
Unfortunately, we were in a loud bar/restaurant and I was screaming just to be heard, which immediately took down any barriers there may have been to screaming (louder and louder as the conversation went on). I would not do this again! Next time, I will try to say "why do you feel this way?" and listen, and then QUIETLY indicate that there may be more complexities to the situation, rather than argue my "side" so vehemently that I might just have come off like a lunatic. Hindsight is 20/20.
I can relate so much to this . . . I feel incapable of saying "tell me more" because I get so riled up about how many dear and intelligent people in my life have been completely brainwashed by the gender industry's corporate powered indoctrination program.
Tip of the hat to you, Lisa, for your persistence in making this effort. Your words put to mind something Rabbi Wolpe observed not long ago, to similar effect: “Each side of the political divide in America assumes the other more extreme than they are. We trust ‘news’ instead of exploring the complexity and concerns of our fellow citizens. Rather than assert, ask; instead of denouncing, discover.”
Thanks so much Lisa for so astutely capturing the experience many of us have had when engaging with acquaintances who assume we have the same worldview. It is hard to resist the urge to drop knowledge bombs and instead say “tell me more about that” or “how did you come to believe that?” Recently I had a gentle conversation on this topic with my nephew who just graduated high school. When I tried to get him to explain his beliefs he offered up the vaguest assertions as evidence such as “there some animals that have gender dysphoria” and “gender reassignment has been happening since the Stone Age”. Where to go when your interlocutor has completely different standards for logic and evidence?
Please ask about which animals have gender dysphoria and about Stone Age sex changes! What are the examples? I guess my feeling is: if they're saying that, they're really not open to anything else. But I would like to try asking, "I have a different take, and a different set of facts. Are you interested in hearing them?" And they can say no if they want, and then you can talk about sports...
Thanks for this! I feel those same hackles rising whenever the subject of trans comes up. I hope next time I can remember your phrase "tell me about that..." When you have a kid in harms way, it's hard not to react viscerally and scare people away. Serenity NOW! ;-)
One may say, tell me more about this, it sounds like "neo-sexism".... it's amazing the extent to which one position has owned even the words to discuss this topic, and anything else is immediately hostile. I admire your patience in taking gentle approaches, but worry that the compassion and curiosity is one sided
I identified, as I think most readers did, with your text... except for the defensiveness. I know that I do not get defensive in the way you describe... I get nervous, because I believe that the person in front of me is tragically wrong about this issue, and the tragedy is that this issue harms children; enables the rape and abuse of women in prisons; endangers women in sports; undermines the trustworthiness and ethics of the medical establishment, universities, schools, psychotherapy and psychotherapists, and other important social institutions; subverst everybody's ability to use language effectively around a plethora of subects; enshrines sex stereotypes; confounds what is normative and what is descriptive; sexualizes children and society... The tragedy is not that one of us is right and one of us is wrong, but that the stakes are too high, the consequences too important... People I love are transidentified, and the consequences for their long-term health are too important for right or wrong, correct or incorrect, to matter... I do not want to get into arguments about this. I know that there is no convincing through argument. I simply say what I think and why, and listen to the other side, and do not even try to reach agreement. Agreement is impossible.
Lisa, this is a remarkable thing to put here. I hope you are amazed at yourself. For those on this side, how we talk about these things will make or break whether others listen. We have to extend ourselves more than we might be willing to if we want to move forward. Now I an off to tatoo "Tell me more" on my hand.
So true. I’ve burned myself. Adele by rushing in with facts enthusiastically. I’ve painfully had to learn to stop and ask “what does that mean to you?” Curiosity to draw out that the person often cannot articulate it at all. Just repeating phrases, or very general feelings. Keep curious is my mantra. Learned from listening to cult survivor stories.
Very insightful post! You’ve given us a glimpse of how we might begin to have these conversations. That record skip feeling is way too familiar and so uncomfortable.
I also find the spaces BEFORE the record scratches when around my "former tribemates" to have their own discomfort. Recently I was asked to sing at a Universal Unitarian memorial service to honor one of the best humans I have ever known, a woman who recently died at 99. I loved her and was glad to contribute. UU must be THE most progressive brand of Christianity, the original one that radiated outwards over the past few decades to Lutheran, Episcopalians and other mainstream Christian churches in its commitment to social justice as a core tenet, UU also includes atheists and pagans and Buddhists and whatever you are, the one supposedly with "no creed" (which I would contest). The minister (she/her) radiated kindness and wisdom. The space itself was beautiful, colorful, and peaceful. It felt like I was there in a split screen, one positive and one in which I was wary, both happening at the same time. Being in this space was very familiar to me, and yet not comfortable. Thoughts like, "What if these people knew what I believe? Am I here under false pretenses of being a good liberal?" Just imagining their possible judgements of me made me feel defensive and hurt and alienated. And yet, I tried to focus on the positive things I saw, and on the task at hand and my part in it, to honor the memory of the special person we all had loved and known. The record never scratched that day, but I'm glad I had some training in releasing my own fears and judgements to just be a human with others in a precious moment together.
I've been a Unitarian Universalist (UU) for 25 years. I can barely talk to anyone at my church anymore about any issues, much less gender and trans ideology. The minister and Religious Education Director have taken very pro-trans and gender stances. It is now a taboo topic to talk about. I wrote a letter to the BOD asking them to consider removing the "Progress Pride" flag in the social hall. Instead of them just saying we want a pro-trans political flag here, they referred me to the Right Relations team as someone to be tried on the Disruptive Behavior Policy. I was later banned from church for 3 months. I'm supposed to attone for my sins of speaking up. It has been very distressing. The UU General Assembly (GA) is planning to put forth a Business Resolution that is full of ideas that are not based on science. It will pass. We aren't allowed to discuss these issues. The UUA has become an illiberal denomination focused on being a far left political organization. I'm dreading what will happen at our GA next week.
I’m so sorry. I wonder if listening to the Blocked and Reported podcast episode about a cancellation in the UU would give you some context for what is happening to you.
I hear you, Nancy. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is much more painful than the one day I spent there struggling with my thoughts and feelings. I gave up any kind of church many years ago but have seen other friends going through the same kind of alienation and censure you are with so-called "liberal" churches." One friend (Episcopalian in a very blue city) loved singing in the choir but could not stay in the church when it was queered beyond recognition and when her beliefs and very being were admonished from the pulpit as being evil. At first, she stopped donating regularly. Like you, she tried to communicate with church leadership, who would not hear her points of view. Like you, she observed the changes happening at the highest level of the organization. Finally, she just had to stop attending.
It is more than likely that this church I attended has the same policies and would treat you the same. The literal signs were everywhere. "Use the gender washroom which you are most comfortable with." No consideration for the comfort or "gender" of me or anyone else. This is what I meant when I contested that these churches DO have a creed--100% shaped by social justice ideologies gone off the rails. It is a lie when UU ministers claim they are "creedless." The creed may not be chanted in unison, but it is written and underlies everything.
It is very, very painful to lose a precious community where you once felt safe, loved, and supported. It is a lie that they are "inclusive" as they are excluding YOU, even punishing YOU for wrongthink. Just know you will get through this, even though you will need to grieve, probably for quite a while. It's not a small thing to lose your sacred community. One day you will be proud and not have not a shred of shame that you violated the Disruptive Behavior Policy. Talk about Orwellian! One day it will make you laugh until tears stream down your face. You are the brave one. You are the one trying to help this organization course correct. They are the ones who no longer welcome YOU or anyone else who question these illiberal ideologies. They have rather brilliantly and completely taken over the buildings and funding of previous tax-exempt religious institutions. Know that if and when you must leave, strangers like me support you. You will find wise and nurturing fellowship again. ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for your wise words. There is a new organization called the North American Unitarian Association. I've found support there and lots of good programs to attend on-line.
Thanks for writing this, Lisa. I relate so much to this. Even if we can say “tell me more” to understand where they’re coming from, it’s hard not to sound like a kook when we start to share everything we know about this gender mess. I feel like I must look like that murderboard meme of Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia—red yarn connecting pictures of Martin Rothblatt to Jennifer Bilek to Richard Levine and Kate Strangio & the HRC.
I’d love to hear your ideas about how to talk about this once the gate has lifted a crack. How do we open it further? I try to stick to one big point depending on their interests—like fairness in sports, or not medicalizing kids, or not legitimizing fetishes for perverts, but I’d love to hear more ideas.
LOL -- Oh how I can relate! Girl! I recently had a (therapist) colleague stop me mid-sentence to ask if I've seen "Homeland" (for those who haven't, the Claire Danes character is bipolar and there are similar scenes of her sleepless and looking wild eyed as she connects all the dots with the red yarn) --- it's truly maddening to be looked at like the "crazy one" when sharing about this crazy-making upside down reality we are in . . . deeming us crazy women is one of the oldest plays in the patriarchy's book and I hate that I can't engage in spoken communication on this topic yet without appearing to be a trope.
I also relate- like standing outside myself and looking at me talking about what I know about this harmful ideology- and thinking- they must think I'm off with a pixie or two!
I'd also like to know how to share the info when the gate lifts just a little
There’s a part 2 to this. What happens when you think you have made some progress in a conversation only to discover next time it comes up with this person, they seem to have completely forgotten what you’ve said and are back to believing the ideology? I have at least four close friends where this has happened. I know it’s not just me being an ineffective talker as others have mentioned this. I think it’s due to being surrounded by a society pushing this ideology and that psychological need to ‘fit in’ and conform to the ‘norm’. I have one friend who has said ‘Huh, multiple friends of mine have said what you said. My gay friends in San Francisco all say this to me. Maybe there’s something to what you say.’ (Ya think?!) And after at least four conversations, she still doesn’t get it. And she’s about to be our town’s next mayor! Part of me is tempted to just buy her a book to read!
Yes, yes, yes. People find it difficult to buck the cultural hegemony particularly if their identity is tribally affiliated.
I had the same experience with a good friend, very smart. I explained how contagion was driving young people to trans identification, how puberty blockers were experimental and how when administered early and followed up with cross sex hormones will result in infertility. How gender identity was an incoherent unproven belief system. He seemed to agree with my points then at the end sighed and said 'its complicated'. My guess is he's so identified with being a lefty and isn't affected personally so he's not able to go there in his head. Infuriating...
It is infuriating. And there are degrees of waking up. Once you get through, it becomes easier to make the rest of the wall crumble. So keep trying!
All such conversations are good--they may resurface in the person's thought life, you are never privy to that....
That's pretty funny. But I have had the same experience and also considered buying friends a book or two. I decided it was likely to be a waste of money.
Yep. A waste. I just make sure I request those books at my local library and hope someone might read them if they make it onto the shelves.
I can relate to your situation (luckily none of my friends have ever run for mayor!) --so, best of luck! I posted above just now, before reading your comment -- try suggesting they read a good article, in case a book may be too much to digest at once. The story of Keira Bell (several years ago, in Persuasion iirc), or possibly one of Corinna Cohn's recent articles, the one on Substack from a week or two ago couldn't not affect anyone with even half a heart. And of course, direct them to Lisa's Substack. She's smart, reasonable, and down to earth. Reading the words of someone who can talk from personal experience and then write about it, can be very affecting and effective.
All great suggestions, thank you! She loves podcasts so I sent her a few Wider Lens episodes in the past … she said she listened to them but still … glazed eyes. She just got whackered by a bunch of borderline aggressive pro hamas activists at a public meeting so hopefully she realizes how on the edge of insanity this all is as a lot of them are also trans. They just painted the sidewalk in trans pride colors (looks terrible) and said to her ‘Not good enough! We expect more from you. Educate yourself!’
That’s a common real world situation and I do admire your sensitivity and empathy; there is a caveat though. Some people are not that amenable to rational arguments and when I hear theist it rings alarm bells. I suppose one way to handle it would be to not argue about her story but tell her another story, perhaps about a person who was led astray by the GI cult, and see how she responds.
I saw a wonderful and genuinely productive conversation in the comments on an Economist ad on Facebook of all places where this happened wonderfully. A woman was able to talk about her friends experience detransitioning in a way that was kind and open. She said something along the lines of “instead of calling out, I think it’s important to call in all voices into the conversation. We should listen to those who have happily transitioned and also those who regret it so that we can find the best options for people and they can make truly informed decisions for themselves.”
Mostly, the public has heard only from those in the honeymoon thrall...
beautifully put.
Thank you so much Lisa for writing about this. I feel surrounded and overwhelmed by this, too. It’s Pride month, and my progressive employee is pushing all manner of “trans kids need protection” junk, assuming of course that we all feel the same way.
I can certainly tell you what not to do - what I did when my sister's sister-in-law noted how "wonderful" it is that we now have kids that are using "they" pronouns, and 2-year-olds can really be themselves. (Yes, she believes 2-year-olds can tell their parents who they "really" are.) She was quite sincere in her beliefs, and she is a sweet (and also religious) person.
Unfortunately, we were in a loud bar/restaurant and I was screaming just to be heard, which immediately took down any barriers there may have been to screaming (louder and louder as the conversation went on). I would not do this again! Next time, I will try to say "why do you feel this way?" and listen, and then QUIETLY indicate that there may be more complexities to the situation, rather than argue my "side" so vehemently that I might just have come off like a lunatic. Hindsight is 20/20.
I can relate so much to this . . . I feel incapable of saying "tell me more" because I get so riled up about how many dear and intelligent people in my life have been completely brainwashed by the gender industry's corporate powered indoctrination program.
Tip of the hat to you, Lisa, for your persistence in making this effort. Your words put to mind something Rabbi Wolpe observed not long ago, to similar effect: “Each side of the political divide in America assumes the other more extreme than they are. We trust ‘news’ instead of exploring the complexity and concerns of our fellow citizens. Rather than assert, ask; instead of denouncing, discover.”
Thanks so much Lisa for so astutely capturing the experience many of us have had when engaging with acquaintances who assume we have the same worldview. It is hard to resist the urge to drop knowledge bombs and instead say “tell me more about that” or “how did you come to believe that?” Recently I had a gentle conversation on this topic with my nephew who just graduated high school. When I tried to get him to explain his beliefs he offered up the vaguest assertions as evidence such as “there some animals that have gender dysphoria” and “gender reassignment has been happening since the Stone Age”. Where to go when your interlocutor has completely different standards for logic and evidence?
Please ask about which animals have gender dysphoria and about Stone Age sex changes! What are the examples? I guess my feeling is: if they're saying that, they're really not open to anything else. But I would like to try asking, "I have a different take, and a different set of facts. Are you interested in hearing them?" And they can say no if they want, and then you can talk about sports...
Thanks for this! I feel those same hackles rising whenever the subject of trans comes up. I hope next time I can remember your phrase "tell me about that..." When you have a kid in harms way, it's hard not to react viscerally and scare people away. Serenity NOW! ;-)
One may say, tell me more about this, it sounds like "neo-sexism".... it's amazing the extent to which one position has owned even the words to discuss this topic, and anything else is immediately hostile. I admire your patience in taking gentle approaches, but worry that the compassion and curiosity is one sided
What a wonderful exposition of the situation many pro-LGB & pro-women find ourselves in. Thank you so much, Lisa.
I identified, as I think most readers did, with your text... except for the defensiveness. I know that I do not get defensive in the way you describe... I get nervous, because I believe that the person in front of me is tragically wrong about this issue, and the tragedy is that this issue harms children; enables the rape and abuse of women in prisons; endangers women in sports; undermines the trustworthiness and ethics of the medical establishment, universities, schools, psychotherapy and psychotherapists, and other important social institutions; subverst everybody's ability to use language effectively around a plethora of subects; enshrines sex stereotypes; confounds what is normative and what is descriptive; sexualizes children and society... The tragedy is not that one of us is right and one of us is wrong, but that the stakes are too high, the consequences too important... People I love are transidentified, and the consequences for their long-term health are too important for right or wrong, correct or incorrect, to matter... I do not want to get into arguments about this. I know that there is no convincing through argument. I simply say what I think and why, and listen to the other side, and do not even try to reach agreement. Agreement is impossible.
It is a waste of time to attempt to convince. I don't try anymore. I recognize that the other person has no room for other points of view.
Lisa, this is a remarkable thing to put here. I hope you are amazed at yourself. For those on this side, how we talk about these things will make or break whether others listen. We have to extend ourselves more than we might be willing to if we want to move forward. Now I an off to tatoo "Tell me more" on my hand.
So true. I’ve burned myself. Adele by rushing in with facts enthusiastically. I’ve painfully had to learn to stop and ask “what does that mean to you?” Curiosity to draw out that the person often cannot articulate it at all. Just repeating phrases, or very general feelings. Keep curious is my mantra. Learned from listening to cult survivor stories.
Edit out the name Adele! Mysterious typos. (Phone version of Substack doesn’t allow editing)
Very insightful post! You’ve given us a glimpse of how we might begin to have these conversations. That record skip feeling is way too familiar and so uncomfortable.
I also find the spaces BEFORE the record scratches when around my "former tribemates" to have their own discomfort. Recently I was asked to sing at a Universal Unitarian memorial service to honor one of the best humans I have ever known, a woman who recently died at 99. I loved her and was glad to contribute. UU must be THE most progressive brand of Christianity, the original one that radiated outwards over the past few decades to Lutheran, Episcopalians and other mainstream Christian churches in its commitment to social justice as a core tenet, UU also includes atheists and pagans and Buddhists and whatever you are, the one supposedly with "no creed" (which I would contest). The minister (she/her) radiated kindness and wisdom. The space itself was beautiful, colorful, and peaceful. It felt like I was there in a split screen, one positive and one in which I was wary, both happening at the same time. Being in this space was very familiar to me, and yet not comfortable. Thoughts like, "What if these people knew what I believe? Am I here under false pretenses of being a good liberal?" Just imagining their possible judgements of me made me feel defensive and hurt and alienated. And yet, I tried to focus on the positive things I saw, and on the task at hand and my part in it, to honor the memory of the special person we all had loved and known. The record never scratched that day, but I'm glad I had some training in releasing my own fears and judgements to just be a human with others in a precious moment together.
I've been a Unitarian Universalist (UU) for 25 years. I can barely talk to anyone at my church anymore about any issues, much less gender and trans ideology. The minister and Religious Education Director have taken very pro-trans and gender stances. It is now a taboo topic to talk about. I wrote a letter to the BOD asking them to consider removing the "Progress Pride" flag in the social hall. Instead of them just saying we want a pro-trans political flag here, they referred me to the Right Relations team as someone to be tried on the Disruptive Behavior Policy. I was later banned from church for 3 months. I'm supposed to attone for my sins of speaking up. It has been very distressing. The UU General Assembly (GA) is planning to put forth a Business Resolution that is full of ideas that are not based on science. It will pass. We aren't allowed to discuss these issues. The UUA has become an illiberal denomination focused on being a far left political organization. I'm dreading what will happen at our GA next week.
I’m so sorry. I wonder if listening to the Blocked and Reported podcast episode about a cancellation in the UU would give you some context for what is happening to you.
https://www.blockedandreported.org/p/how-the-unitarian-universalist-church
Thanks! I wasn't aware of this.
I hear you, Nancy. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is much more painful than the one day I spent there struggling with my thoughts and feelings. I gave up any kind of church many years ago but have seen other friends going through the same kind of alienation and censure you are with so-called "liberal" churches." One friend (Episcopalian in a very blue city) loved singing in the choir but could not stay in the church when it was queered beyond recognition and when her beliefs and very being were admonished from the pulpit as being evil. At first, she stopped donating regularly. Like you, she tried to communicate with church leadership, who would not hear her points of view. Like you, she observed the changes happening at the highest level of the organization. Finally, she just had to stop attending.
It is more than likely that this church I attended has the same policies and would treat you the same. The literal signs were everywhere. "Use the gender washroom which you are most comfortable with." No consideration for the comfort or "gender" of me or anyone else. This is what I meant when I contested that these churches DO have a creed--100% shaped by social justice ideologies gone off the rails. It is a lie when UU ministers claim they are "creedless." The creed may not be chanted in unison, but it is written and underlies everything.
It is very, very painful to lose a precious community where you once felt safe, loved, and supported. It is a lie that they are "inclusive" as they are excluding YOU, even punishing YOU for wrongthink. Just know you will get through this, even though you will need to grieve, probably for quite a while. It's not a small thing to lose your sacred community. One day you will be proud and not have not a shred of shame that you violated the Disruptive Behavior Policy. Talk about Orwellian! One day it will make you laugh until tears stream down your face. You are the brave one. You are the one trying to help this organization course correct. They are the ones who no longer welcome YOU or anyone else who question these illiberal ideologies. They have rather brilliantly and completely taken over the buildings and funding of previous tax-exempt religious institutions. Know that if and when you must leave, strangers like me support you. You will find wise and nurturing fellowship again. ❤️❤️❤️
Amen! Reading your comment reminds me of: Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Thank you.
❤️
Thanks for your wise words. There is a new organization called the North American Unitarian Association. I've found support there and lots of good programs to attend on-line.
I'll share this with my other churchless friends too.
Glad to hear you have found some support for speaking truth to power. Hang in there!