Just found you through Andrew Sullivan’s shout out in this week’s newsletter. I subscribed as a paying member because I’m so grateful to see someone covering the issues that you are, and relaying the difficulty of getting such nuanced views out into the open. Thanks for doing what you do, and I’ll look forward to more.
I recently discovered your site and arrived late to the conversation. Thank you for your refreshing willingness to think and write outside the box regarding this issue. I have questions and feel hopeful that you won't label me a hateful, bigoted transphobe for asking them.
I am involved with protection legislation for these vulnerable children, adolescents, and teens and am looking for suggestions on how to improve the language. I am am interested in your suggestions on how to best protect kids from the wholesale marketing of puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries since the medical profession refuses to do it. How do you suggest we help frightened parents become fully informed on the risks, known adverse effects, unknown effectiveness for their child, etc. when medical professionals ignore or deny them?
How do you suggest malleable, impressionable, innocent children be protected from the confusion that results from gender theory starting in kindergarten that encourages gender non-conformity? Research in some of the studies you have referred to in the past - even WPATH statements - have shown that anywhere from 61- to 95% of youth who experience gender dysphoria will embrace their biological sex after puberty if they have been supported in it during the developmental process. Not coerced, not forced, not beaten into submission to accept it, but affirmed in their unique personality expression and the unalterable truth of their biological sex. How do you suggest turning the tide on the affirmation-or-death mantra?
The narrative that teachers understand children better than their parents, that they are responsible for protecting them from perceived potential abuse is based on false assumptions. Children do not belong to educators. Educators do not know the rest of the family story for a student which makes it impossible for them to make fully informed, accurate assessments of a situation. Should educators have the authority to diagnose and treat medical/mental conditions without parental notification and consent especially since they have no medical license to do that?
My last question. According to research that you seem to be familiar with, 1) only a tiny number of children presenting with gender dysphoria will remain dysphoric as adults if not automatically affirmed and/or put on hormones; 2) there is no way to determine for suer which children will persist in their dysphoria; and, 3) drugs and surgeries are ineffective in treating gender dysphoria, come with known and unknown risks, and have irreversible effects including sterility. Question: what would be middle ground with that?
Again, I appreciate your willingness to engage in a thoughtful, non-emotional discussion. Children are suffering. We need to find the best, most compassionate way(s) to help them.
My 15 y o daughter criticized me for "being on the fence" all the time, and she hangs around people who debate all sorts of stuff all the time. It seems that the younger generation really feels that in some circumstances (when it comes to protecting what they perceive as vulnerable minorities) there can be no middle ground. I will say that I think the conversation is beginning to change. There are too many people pointing out all sorts of inconvenient facts, and the cognitive dissonance is starting to put too much strain on many people. Even said daughter now says that she is less likely to automatically stand up for whoever she perceives as persecuted. Just the other day she said "I'm not sure what I believe anymore". Good! The next step is to search out actual evidence and build new, critically informed beliefs that will keep "updating" as more actual evidence comes out. Thank you, Lisa, for standing up for the middle ground. That's why I subscribed.
"Call the parents to congratulate them." Wouldn't that count as notification?
I just don't see the objection to the law. As a parent, I want to know what's going on with my kid, and if a teacher sees something, I want to know about it. In a normal world, this sort of thing would not be a big deal, but in our world, where the anti-science trans cult is ascendant, it is a big deal, and these laws are needed to protect kids.
I know what you mean. But the implication is that there is something wrong with gender nonconformity, and I believe that gender nonconformity is not only normal but can be a real advantage (if you look at the research on gender norms and their affect on young people). I do think that facilitating transition behind a parent's back is really terrible, but I understand that some people who do it believe that they're protecting kids from abusive situations—they equate preventing transition with abuse. We have to get the public to understand that gender dysphoria and lifelong transgender identity are not [necessarily] the same thing, and transition isn't the only answer. I don't think these laws will do that. That's why I'm constantly trying to publish pieces in the mainstream media that will help educate people. But it's just an incredibly difficult thing to do right now.
It's not that there's "something wrong with gender nonconformity", it's that your belief in that regard should be forced onto parents who may not share it. Pretty much every human culture has, for many thousands of years, asked for gender conformity. I'm much less inclined than you to the firm belief that this was all wrong.
FWIW, I have been politically on the left my whole life (I'm now 66, and the kid I mentioned is now grown), but when the head of the American Pediatric Association goes on 60 Minutes and flat-out lies about puberty blockers not being "experimental" (can I see the twenty-years-later studies please?), and amazon will not carry any book that calls gender dysphoria a mental illness (which it very clearly is), and I can get kicked off twitter (which I have never been on and never will be) for saying "Ellen Page", the time for serious pushback has come. If that takes the form of less than perfect laws, so be it.
Yes, I suppose I do think we should educate parents that they don't have to medicate their gender nonconforming kids. Every culture has gender; most cultures also have gender nonconforming people, and there are different ways of understanding them or ways of making room for them. I agree the AAP is not being truthful. That's a separate issue. But my goal is to be truthful, which means sharing many, many sides of this debate, instead of pretending there's no debate at all. I agree the time for pushback has come, and I am trying.
Well of course parents don't have to MEDICATE gender non-conforming kids; I had more in mind "Johnny, boys don't usually wear dresses; it's OK once in a while for fun, but you need to wear pants when we're not playing dress-up." As opposed to CELEBRATING Johnny wanting to wear a dress all the time.
Misplaced apostrophe in subtitle!
Fixed! Thanks!
Just found you through Andrew Sullivan’s shout out in this week’s newsletter. I subscribed as a paying member because I’m so grateful to see someone covering the issues that you are, and relaying the difficulty of getting such nuanced views out into the open. Thanks for doing what you do, and I’ll look forward to more.
ditto, the above.
Thanks so much to both of you for picking up what I'm putting down!
I've noticed a similar trend on the left - accusations of "both-sidesism" for anyone who refuses to triple down on woke tribalism.
In an era of social media fueled hyperpolarization, "both-sidesism" has seldom been more justified.
I'm so glad to hear your voice in the mix.
I recently discovered your site and arrived late to the conversation. Thank you for your refreshing willingness to think and write outside the box regarding this issue. I have questions and feel hopeful that you won't label me a hateful, bigoted transphobe for asking them.
I am involved with protection legislation for these vulnerable children, adolescents, and teens and am looking for suggestions on how to improve the language. I am am interested in your suggestions on how to best protect kids from the wholesale marketing of puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries since the medical profession refuses to do it. How do you suggest we help frightened parents become fully informed on the risks, known adverse effects, unknown effectiveness for their child, etc. when medical professionals ignore or deny them?
How do you suggest malleable, impressionable, innocent children be protected from the confusion that results from gender theory starting in kindergarten that encourages gender non-conformity? Research in some of the studies you have referred to in the past - even WPATH statements - have shown that anywhere from 61- to 95% of youth who experience gender dysphoria will embrace their biological sex after puberty if they have been supported in it during the developmental process. Not coerced, not forced, not beaten into submission to accept it, but affirmed in their unique personality expression and the unalterable truth of their biological sex. How do you suggest turning the tide on the affirmation-or-death mantra?
The narrative that teachers understand children better than their parents, that they are responsible for protecting them from perceived potential abuse is based on false assumptions. Children do not belong to educators. Educators do not know the rest of the family story for a student which makes it impossible for them to make fully informed, accurate assessments of a situation. Should educators have the authority to diagnose and treat medical/mental conditions without parental notification and consent especially since they have no medical license to do that?
My last question. According to research that you seem to be familiar with, 1) only a tiny number of children presenting with gender dysphoria will remain dysphoric as adults if not automatically affirmed and/or put on hormones; 2) there is no way to determine for suer which children will persist in their dysphoria; and, 3) drugs and surgeries are ineffective in treating gender dysphoria, come with known and unknown risks, and have irreversible effects including sterility. Question: what would be middle ground with that?
Again, I appreciate your willingness to engage in a thoughtful, non-emotional discussion. Children are suffering. We need to find the best, most compassionate way(s) to help them.
I have thoughts, and people to connect you with. Can you email me directly? lisa@lisaselindavis.com
My 15 y o daughter criticized me for "being on the fence" all the time, and she hangs around people who debate all sorts of stuff all the time. It seems that the younger generation really feels that in some circumstances (when it comes to protecting what they perceive as vulnerable minorities) there can be no middle ground. I will say that I think the conversation is beginning to change. There are too many people pointing out all sorts of inconvenient facts, and the cognitive dissonance is starting to put too much strain on many people. Even said daughter now says that she is less likely to automatically stand up for whoever she perceives as persecuted. Just the other day she said "I'm not sure what I believe anymore". Good! The next step is to search out actual evidence and build new, critically informed beliefs that will keep "updating" as more actual evidence comes out. Thank you, Lisa, for standing up for the middle ground. That's why I subscribed.
"Call the parents to congratulate them." Wouldn't that count as notification?
I just don't see the objection to the law. As a parent, I want to know what's going on with my kid, and if a teacher sees something, I want to know about it. In a normal world, this sort of thing would not be a big deal, but in our world, where the anti-science trans cult is ascendant, it is a big deal, and these laws are needed to protect kids.
I know what you mean. But the implication is that there is something wrong with gender nonconformity, and I believe that gender nonconformity is not only normal but can be a real advantage (if you look at the research on gender norms and their affect on young people). I do think that facilitating transition behind a parent's back is really terrible, but I understand that some people who do it believe that they're protecting kids from abusive situations—they equate preventing transition with abuse. We have to get the public to understand that gender dysphoria and lifelong transgender identity are not [necessarily] the same thing, and transition isn't the only answer. I don't think these laws will do that. That's why I'm constantly trying to publish pieces in the mainstream media that will help educate people. But it's just an incredibly difficult thing to do right now.
It's not that there's "something wrong with gender nonconformity", it's that your belief in that regard should be forced onto parents who may not share it. Pretty much every human culture has, for many thousands of years, asked for gender conformity. I'm much less inclined than you to the firm belief that this was all wrong.
FWIW, I have been politically on the left my whole life (I'm now 66, and the kid I mentioned is now grown), but when the head of the American Pediatric Association goes on 60 Minutes and flat-out lies about puberty blockers not being "experimental" (can I see the twenty-years-later studies please?), and amazon will not carry any book that calls gender dysphoria a mental illness (which it very clearly is), and I can get kicked off twitter (which I have never been on and never will be) for saying "Ellen Page", the time for serious pushback has come. If that takes the form of less than perfect laws, so be it.
Yes, I suppose I do think we should educate parents that they don't have to medicate their gender nonconforming kids. Every culture has gender; most cultures also have gender nonconforming people, and there are different ways of understanding them or ways of making room for them. I agree the AAP is not being truthful. That's a separate issue. But my goal is to be truthful, which means sharing many, many sides of this debate, instead of pretending there's no debate at all. I agree the time for pushback has come, and I am trying.
Well of course parents don't have to MEDICATE gender non-conforming kids; I had more in mind "Johnny, boys don't usually wear dresses; it's OK once in a while for fun, but you need to wear pants when we're not playing dress-up." As opposed to CELEBRATING Johnny wanting to wear a dress all the time.
You should read my book! It explains where the idea of boys' clothes and girls' clothes—colors, toys, etc—come from.