17 Comments

Excellent piece. Thankyou. Keep writing!

Re autogynephilia (AGP) in addition to clinicians sacrificing LGB kids through wilful ignorance, another issue is coming into view…boys with AGP should be getting help to manage their sexual orientation (but most clinicians enthusiastically transing teenagers would not know about it.) On the one hand compassion is needed so AGP can come into the sunlight - especially important for boys who, in this networked surge for trans identification, might launch into body modification they later regret. On the other hand the sexist stereotypes and frankly awful behaviours of some (not all !!) men with AGP need to be understood and described. This thread unpacks this, with quotes cited by Anne Lawrence:

https://twitter.com/hatpinwoman/status/1466071208970137616?s=21

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Another great piece. Thanks for your dedication to this important topic. I know, based on your previous comments, it is often an emotional burden. I hope to balance that with affirmation you are helping my family, and I’m sure many others.

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I hope that's true! I'm hoping this piece can be shared with those who educate kids that gender and sexuality are unrelated. I think the burden is just that it's really hard to sell any articles about this, and I am trying all the time. And the burden is knowing how much more complicated the story is than the way the mainstream media is portraying it, and not being able to do anything about it. But, again, I'm trying!

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"boys who were so naturally feminine that they felt like girls,"

FWIW here's how I think about it: Boys who were so naturally feminine that they felt like *they imagined* girls feel…

Thanks for this excellent article.

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Love it. Lisa, I am writing a book and could use some suggestions? I started it many years ago when I discovered women after being married over 10 years. I would be glad to pay you for any advise or editing?

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So it is impossible for a homosexual male to be masculine and feeling inside and acting like a man?

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If you are responding to the research on the two main types of people seeking sex reassignment surgery in the 80s and 90s, then I have no idea how you came to this conclusion. Or maybe I don’t understand the question or the intention

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What is a good rebuttal to: "kids who had GD in early childhood and then 'turned out to be gay' really have been trans all along but learned to live with it when it wasn't available. They didn't transition as adults, when transition had become accessible because even though they might have been more comfortable in their bodies, the social costs were felt to be too great in an "established" life with spouse, kids, career etc.

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I understand this argument. There are a lot of well-crafted arguments. But I'd just look at the research from cultures around the world where there is no concept of gender identity and no gender dysphoria and a clear connection between gender nonconformity and sexuality. It's entirely possible that those "third genders" would partake of the medicine or the well-crafted arguments if they were readily available, but we don't yet know. We may someday find out, but that could also be an example of the treatment creating the condition.

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Also, I think it's entirely different for adults. They may very well have been uncomfortable their whole lives and transitioning provides comfort—all cosmetic surgery is done to provide comfort or relief from psychological distress.

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Perhaps it speaks to the adaptability of our species to work with the world we are given. People learn to live in situations but if something better comes along the old situation seems much worse. I dunno. I'm remembering a few years ago there was a spike in youth suicide in Utah. It was believed to be primarily among LGBTQ youth. One thought about it was that as the rest of US culture had become more accepting of lgbtq, Utah had not and it was the inequity that was driving it more than Mormons being unaccepting. That hadn't changed. It was the fact that other places had it that made the lack of acceptance less tolerable to Utah youth. I don't know if that idea was ever validated.

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In effect, people who put forward that argument are content to ‘trans the gay away’, and content with gender stereotypes. They may not realise that, but it’s implicit. But confronting them with this is likely to get nowhere. What about asking questions like???

“Given that gay & lesbian people often don’t conform to gender stereotypes, and that’s often difficult for them - do you think it better if they transition to fit in better with gender stereotypes?”

I’m genuinely curious here about what questions are helpful.

Any suggestions for other questions?

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"Who" because it is predicate nominative.

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I'm really hoping you read everything in between the beginning and the end, but thank you so much for answering this grammar question! I hate not having a copyeditor.

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IMO, copyeditors do more harm than good 99% of the time.

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I did and will continue to do so.

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