Men's and women's bodies are physiologically different, but our most striking differences are found in our brains and behavior. There's a reason why crime stats show 98% of sexual assaults are committed by men against women and children. Our behavior and desires are enormously different, which is why it's so important to keep males out of female spaces even if they claim a girl or woman identity. Men's violence towards women could be explained by patriarchal socialization that teaches boys and men they are superior to women, instilling a sense of entitlement, but this dimorphic pattern of behavior is more likely caused by brain differences. Unfortunately, many neuroscientists seem hellbent on finding proof that "trans women" are some type of woman rather than a type of man. That's a fool's errand that anyone who understands autogynophilia in "trans women" could have predicted. Men who think they are women perform a very male version of what they think women should look like and act like.
In my opinion, if we want to know why men and women exhibit such different behaviors, scientists should be studying the brains of lesbians, the one group that is routinely left out of neurological studies. Lesbians fall in love with, bond with and have sex with other women. Yet we are not rapists. Lesbians are welcome in female showers because like most women, we know what it's like to be creeped on by perverts. I'm not saying that a woman cannot rape, but that 2% of women who commit sexual crimes are primarily female drug addicts who have prostituted their own daughters, a sex crime against those children.
Men who call themselves women have a higher incidence of sexual crime than men who don't think they are (or wish they were) women. "Trans women" are clearly a subcategory of men.
But lesbians are the key to the puzzle of how men's and women's brains are different.
Yes, both free from social expectations yet distinctly different from each other. Gay men exhibit the epitome of casual sex in bar bathrooms. Gay men are free from women's relationship demands. My guess is that lots of straight men would like that life too.
Lesbians, being women, exemplify the opposite extreme. You know the joke about a lesbian bringing a U-Haul on the second date? Yeah. Women seek relationship commitment. Women look for resources. Women have expectations and hopes for love and longevity. Two women together is double trouble. Lesbian relationship problems maybe due to not enough separateness.
That's likely due to sexed brain differences, not socialization, as very few lesbians were socialized to find long-term relationships.
Sadly, some of the neuroscience studies have included every cohort except lesbians.
- I don’t think the “Phyllis Schlafly was a feminist” conclusion is a valid one, but it sheds light on whether only being an example can create change (in this case, change Schlafly didn’t want).
- This exhibit just opened in Chicago: https://art.newcity.com/2025/05/01/history-in-the-remaking-wrightwood-659s-the-first-homosexuals-tells-the-story/?utm_source=wordfly&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=5%2F29%2F25&utm_content=version_A I’m curious if it will change my mind at all. Claire Lehman, founder of Quillette, just mentioned Katz in her interview with Andrew Sullivan as a book she was assigned in college. Katz’s argument is that Gay and Trans were born at the same time during Victorian England and its impulse to label everything. I’m not saying it’s a good argument for sublimating female’s needs for the sake of trans men, but I will check it out and see! Sullivan pointed out that Katz wants queerness to always be oppositional to the status quo, where he wants gays to be treated as normal. That seems about right.
Provocative! I’d think there’s a difference between being misgendered on the street (which I find embarrassing) and doing so as a media voice (books, Twitter/X, Youtube). Have any of these guys complained that you misgendered them? We’re the peons, the masses. I’ve taken a rather maligned sociological perspective: Ask the people. What’s your social world like? Have you ever been misgendered (& how does it feel?) Obviously we’re not always right. Easiest is to not gender (‘Sir?’ “Ma’am?”) I’d imagine many have been misgendered (at least once?) How many? Happens on the phone, too. Count that.
Public life is another story, made by author’s & videographers,, often academics. But, in interacting we don’t use third person pronouns, right? Just you, me, I.
Which is fine! Thanks for putting thoughts out there!
Always a pleasure to listen to Holly Lawford-Smith ! It's nice to hear about feminism and it's history (herstory would say the radical second-wavers) from someone who actually knows what she's talking about.
I remember mentioning to my then husband, after I discovered he'd been on secret crossdressing trips, deceitfully named "business trips," that his desire to be female would include the problems with finding accessible public women's bathrooms in NYC. He said, "Oh, I'm going to do something about that and be part of the solution." All too many "feminists" believed that these men would further the cause of equality for women.
Men's and women's bodies are physiologically different, but our most striking differences are found in our brains and behavior. There's a reason why crime stats show 98% of sexual assaults are committed by men against women and children. Our behavior and desires are enormously different, which is why it's so important to keep males out of female spaces even if they claim a girl or woman identity. Men's violence towards women could be explained by patriarchal socialization that teaches boys and men they are superior to women, instilling a sense of entitlement, but this dimorphic pattern of behavior is more likely caused by brain differences. Unfortunately, many neuroscientists seem hellbent on finding proof that "trans women" are some type of woman rather than a type of man. That's a fool's errand that anyone who understands autogynophilia in "trans women" could have predicted. Men who think they are women perform a very male version of what they think women should look like and act like.
In my opinion, if we want to know why men and women exhibit such different behaviors, scientists should be studying the brains of lesbians, the one group that is routinely left out of neurological studies. Lesbians fall in love with, bond with and have sex with other women. Yet we are not rapists. Lesbians are welcome in female showers because like most women, we know what it's like to be creeped on by perverts. I'm not saying that a woman cannot rape, but that 2% of women who commit sexual crimes are primarily female drug addicts who have prostituted their own daughters, a sex crime against those children.
Men who call themselves women have a higher incidence of sexual crime than men who don't think they are (or wish they were) women. "Trans women" are clearly a subcategory of men.
But lesbians are the key to the puzzle of how men's and women's brains are different.
When I think of sex differences and differences in behavior, I think of two distinct groups.
Lesbians and gay men.
There are huge statistical differences in these groups.
They are both more free from societal expectations, aren’t they?
And yet they are so different.
Biology must play a huge part in this.
Yes, both free from social expectations yet distinctly different from each other. Gay men exhibit the epitome of casual sex in bar bathrooms. Gay men are free from women's relationship demands. My guess is that lots of straight men would like that life too.
Lesbians, being women, exemplify the opposite extreme. You know the joke about a lesbian bringing a U-Haul on the second date? Yeah. Women seek relationship commitment. Women look for resources. Women have expectations and hopes for love and longevity. Two women together is double trouble. Lesbian relationship problems maybe due to not enough separateness.
That's likely due to sexed brain differences, not socialization, as very few lesbians were socialized to find long-term relationships.
Sadly, some of the neuroscience studies have included every cohort except lesbians.
Many disparate thoughts here:
- I don’t think the “Phyllis Schlafly was a feminist” conclusion is a valid one, but it sheds light on whether only being an example can create change (in this case, change Schlafly didn’t want).
- This exhibit just opened in Chicago: https://art.newcity.com/2025/05/01/history-in-the-remaking-wrightwood-659s-the-first-homosexuals-tells-the-story/?utm_source=wordfly&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=5%2F29%2F25&utm_content=version_A I’m curious if it will change my mind at all. Claire Lehman, founder of Quillette, just mentioned Katz in her interview with Andrew Sullivan as a book she was assigned in college. Katz’s argument is that Gay and Trans were born at the same time during Victorian England and its impulse to label everything. I’m not saying it’s a good argument for sublimating female’s needs for the sake of trans men, but I will check it out and see! Sullivan pointed out that Katz wants queerness to always be oppositional to the status quo, where he wants gays to be treated as normal. That seems about right.
Provocative! I’d think there’s a difference between being misgendered on the street (which I find embarrassing) and doing so as a media voice (books, Twitter/X, Youtube). Have any of these guys complained that you misgendered them? We’re the peons, the masses. I’ve taken a rather maligned sociological perspective: Ask the people. What’s your social world like? Have you ever been misgendered (& how does it feel?) Obviously we’re not always right. Easiest is to not gender (‘Sir?’ “Ma’am?”) I’d imagine many have been misgendered (at least once?) How many? Happens on the phone, too. Count that.
Public life is another story, made by author’s & videographers,, often academics. But, in interacting we don’t use third person pronouns, right? Just you, me, I.
Which is fine! Thanks for putting thoughts out there!
Always a pleasure to listen to Holly Lawford-Smith ! It's nice to hear about feminism and it's history (herstory would say the radical second-wavers) from someone who actually knows what she's talking about.
I remember mentioning to my then husband, after I discovered he'd been on secret crossdressing trips, deceitfully named "business trips," that his desire to be female would include the problems with finding accessible public women's bathrooms in NYC. He said, "Oh, I'm going to do something about that and be part of the solution." All too many "feminists" believed that these men would further the cause of equality for women.