Well, I will say this to the objections: The subtitle is a little tongue-in-cheek. I write about stay-at-home dads and shifting gender roles and all kinds of things in the book, but in the end, it is about how we had cultural change without structural change, which left us ladies hanging. And it argues that the archetypal image of the housewife—an archetype I trace and explode—is being that. But sometimes it's funny! Writers don't have a ton of say in the cover or the title or subtitle, and sometimes are asked to take out entire chapters that don't jive with the mainstream publishing paradigm. Still, I learned a lot working on this book, and am really excited that when I write a book about the youth gender culture war, I will be beholden only to truth, and not publishing politics.
Jul 25, 2023Liked by Lisa Selin Davis, Unyielding Bicyclist
This is relevant to so many discussions I’ve had with other moms my age recently. I might be able to suggest this for my book club (and sneak in some gender identity critique under the radar perhaps?)!
Very much looking forward to this, Lisa. Thank you! This is an important discussion. I was going to write something about "adding to the debate..." with Anne Marie Slaughter and Sheryl Sandberg...and then I just looked up the timing of that debate. Over 10 years ago!! How is that possible?! And what does that mean?!
Can you elaborate a bit on what you mean by "all"?
All the dirty, greasy, grimy, and dangerous work that keeps the world going is done by men. When the power is knocked out by a snowstorm, it's the men being called out at 1 AM to do the dangerous repair work. When there's coal to be mined or a house fire to be put out, it's the men doing it. When there's a war to be fought it's the men dying and or being maimed. Current KIA estimates are 300K to 350 dead Ukrainian men and 70K Russian.
It sounds like a really interesting book Lisa, I still need to read your first book. I love your writing on here. I wonder how different the history of the 'house-wife' is in the UK, from what I've heard listening to stories of de-transitioners there seems to be a lot less flexibility around gender roles in the USA than the UK. My Mum mentioned something recently about the differences, I can't remember the context, it was something to do with feminism, possibly discussing Betty Friedan and my Mum made the point that women in the UK have always worked.
That was her experience - her mother was what she calls a 'career woman' who had children late, and her mother in law always worked alongside raising her children, but of course I don't know how common that was. My Mum is in her 70s now, she doesn't think the 'housewife' image was pushed so much here.
I called my local San Francisco indie bookstore to preorder and they said wait until beginning of Jan. I wonder if we can start a calling campaign in liberal cities to get local bookstores to take interest. Call your calls to SF, Seattle, Portland, LA, NY, Austin ... bookstores now.
With apologies that this is unrelated, but I think it is important that as many who can act on this and wasn’t sure it would be seen in an earlier post:
Leor Sapir is livetweeting a House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution and Limited Government hearing on "The Dangers and Due Process Violations of 'Gender-Affirming Care' for Children."
I recommend that anyone with a Democratic Congressperson, particularly if the Congressmember participated in the Committee hearing, call or write and register any concerns you have. Here is what I did:
After viewing some of the hearing content, I called my Congressperson, Jerry Nadler, to note concerns I had with the Democratic side approach to the issues surrounding GAC (gender affirming care). FYI, in this case I kept to the term GAC, used in the hearings, though ordinarily I would not, so as not to get sidetracked from the overall points I wanted to make.
The very pleasant young woman with whom I spoke made sure to take down my name address information, and I feel confident she wrote my comments down as well as is possible when transcribing a call. I chose not to write in this case, as I never get an answer, and I also wanted to convey tone as well as content.
Here is what I covered with her, making sure to maintain a calm, non-combative tone throughout. After noting the hearing as the reason for my call, I made these points:
1. While Rs may be using this hearing for their own purposes, it is essential for the Democrats to become properly informed about GAC.
2. Some Ds characterized the concerns raised about GAC as “extreme right wing,” so I feel it important to note that I am a progressive Democrat, and I also have serious concerns about how GAC is being delivered on the ground.
3. I noted that I have worked hard to educate myself on the facts on the ground, including coming to know affected parents.
4. I advised that, from what I am aware of with regard to Shannon Minter’s testimony, she is not accurately representing the state of the science or quality of GAC as it is currently being delivered.
5. I recommended, as a starting point to learn more about these issues, that Nadler read Time to Think, by Hannah Barnes. I explained she was a BBC investigative reporter, and I found the book to offer a fair and thorough description of what had occurred at Tavistock.
6. I recommended also that Nadler read the Cass Report, which examined the delivery of GAC at Tavistock and determined there were many problems with the way GAC was being delivered and recommended closure of Tavistock and significant changes to the care delivery as a result.
We exchanged pleasantries about the hot weather, and I thanked her and Nadler’s office for all their hard work in our behalf.
Feel free to use any or all of this if you call or write your congressperson.
Well, I will say this to the objections: The subtitle is a little tongue-in-cheek. I write about stay-at-home dads and shifting gender roles and all kinds of things in the book, but in the end, it is about how we had cultural change without structural change, which left us ladies hanging. And it argues that the archetypal image of the housewife—an archetype I trace and explode—is being that. But sometimes it's funny! Writers don't have a ton of say in the cover or the title or subtitle, and sometimes are asked to take out entire chapters that don't jive with the mainstream publishing paradigm. Still, I learned a lot working on this book, and am really excited that when I write a book about the youth gender culture war, I will be beholden only to truth, and not publishing politics.
This is relevant to so many discussions I’ve had with other moms my age recently. I might be able to suggest this for my book club (and sneak in some gender identity critique under the radar perhaps?)!
Pre-ordered. Even though I'm a little scared to read it b/c this midlife woman is already experiencing plenty of rage. ;)
Very much looking forward to this, Lisa. Thank you! This is an important discussion. I was going to write something about "adding to the debate..." with Anne Marie Slaughter and Sheryl Sandberg...and then I just looked up the timing of that debate. Over 10 years ago!! How is that possible?! And what does that mean?!
I love the cover! Congratulations! Lisa Selin-Davis.
Mazal Tov!
Done! Congratulations!!!
And thank you!
Will definitely pre-order!
Hey, you could have a discussion with Caitlin Flanagan! (To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife).
Looking forward to your book.
Will check it out - good energy with it! Cheers MG
"Why women still do it all?"
Can you elaborate a bit on what you mean by "all"?
All the dirty, greasy, grimy, and dangerous work that keeps the world going is done by men. When the power is knocked out by a snowstorm, it's the men being called out at 1 AM to do the dangerous repair work. When there's coal to be mined or a house fire to be put out, it's the men doing it. When there's a war to be fought it's the men dying and or being maimed. Current KIA estimates are 300K to 350 dead Ukrainian men and 70K Russian.
Inquiring minds need to know.
It sounds like a really interesting book Lisa, I still need to read your first book. I love your writing on here. I wonder how different the history of the 'house-wife' is in the UK, from what I've heard listening to stories of de-transitioners there seems to be a lot less flexibility around gender roles in the USA than the UK. My Mum mentioned something recently about the differences, I can't remember the context, it was something to do with feminism, possibly discussing Betty Friedan and my Mum made the point that women in the UK have always worked.
That was her experience - her mother was what she calls a 'career woman' who had children late, and her mother in law always worked alongside raising her children, but of course I don't know how common that was. My Mum is in her 70s now, she doesn't think the 'housewife' image was pushed so much here.
I called my local San Francisco indie bookstore to preorder and they said wait until beginning of Jan. I wonder if we can start a calling campaign in liberal cities to get local bookstores to take interest. Call your calls to SF, Seattle, Portland, LA, NY, Austin ... bookstores now.
Do you know of independent bookstores that will have it available?
Preordered! Looking forward to it
Ps: reading Mary Harrington's "Feminism Against Progress" at Eliza Mondegreen's suggestion. Would be really interested in your thoughts on that one!
First off, congratulations, Lisa!
With apologies that this is unrelated, but I think it is important that as many who can act on this and wasn’t sure it would be seen in an earlier post:
Leor Sapir is livetweeting a House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution and Limited Government hearing on "The Dangers and Due Process Violations of 'Gender-Affirming Care' for Children."
https://twitter.com/LeorSapir/status/1684566667685404674
A direct link to the hearing is here: https://judiciary.house.gov/committee-activity/hearings/dangers-and-due-process-violations-gender-affirming-care
I recommend that anyone with a Democratic Congressperson, particularly if the Congressmember participated in the Committee hearing, call or write and register any concerns you have. Here is what I did:
After viewing some of the hearing content, I called my Congressperson, Jerry Nadler, to note concerns I had with the Democratic side approach to the issues surrounding GAC (gender affirming care). FYI, in this case I kept to the term GAC, used in the hearings, though ordinarily I would not, so as not to get sidetracked from the overall points I wanted to make.
The very pleasant young woman with whom I spoke made sure to take down my name address information, and I feel confident she wrote my comments down as well as is possible when transcribing a call. I chose not to write in this case, as I never get an answer, and I also wanted to convey tone as well as content.
Here is what I covered with her, making sure to maintain a calm, non-combative tone throughout. After noting the hearing as the reason for my call, I made these points:
1. While Rs may be using this hearing for their own purposes, it is essential for the Democrats to become properly informed about GAC.
2. Some Ds characterized the concerns raised about GAC as “extreme right wing,” so I feel it important to note that I am a progressive Democrat, and I also have serious concerns about how GAC is being delivered on the ground.
3. I noted that I have worked hard to educate myself on the facts on the ground, including coming to know affected parents.
4. I advised that, from what I am aware of with regard to Shannon Minter’s testimony, she is not accurately representing the state of the science or quality of GAC as it is currently being delivered.
5. I recommended, as a starting point to learn more about these issues, that Nadler read Time to Think, by Hannah Barnes. I explained she was a BBC investigative reporter, and I found the book to offer a fair and thorough description of what had occurred at Tavistock.
6. I recommended also that Nadler read the Cass Report, which examined the delivery of GAC at Tavistock and determined there were many problems with the way GAC was being delivered and recommended closure of Tavistock and significant changes to the care delivery as a result.
We exchanged pleasantries about the hot weather, and I thanked her and Nadler’s office for all their hard work in our behalf.
Feel free to use any or all of this if you call or write your congressperson.