Suicidality in young kids used to be nearly unheard of, 50 years ago. Now that mental health problems are getting more common in kids, indicating that more kids are not getting their relational/developmental needs met in early life, an "identity" has been invented to *explain* this new distress cohort, via an *innate feature* of the child; to placate these identity claims is considered the best way to handle this. Is this true of ANY other claimed issue that's linked to suicidal distress?
Is there no 60 year old teacher or Principal in these schools, who can say "Wait, this is new..."? This issue *did not exist* 15 years ago. It arrived AFTER an increase in child mental health problems arrived.
So I see a two-generation enactment, where new-minted adults are WAY less clued-in about children than adults generally used to be, and so they have LESS ability and confidence to sit with the self doubt and pain children experience, and so they NEED this pat explanation, w/ an easily-executed 'solution', however insane.
These adults do not know how to hold space for children's anguish and uncertainty. They do not know how to express sure belief in the child & the many ways kids are able to heal distress. It's like the kind of parent who only knows how to give a cookie or distract with an iPhone, but can't exhort, encourage, withstand-- they lack the range of parental skills. They have bad psychodynamic awareness, and a concurrent *need* to be heroes.
Without such adults, trans would never achieve lift-off.
Lisa, thanks for the provocative article. I am a retired pediatrician. I too worry about brining in CPS and under-informed family court judges to adjudicate custody issues in this situation. CPS workers are not particularly well educated, sophisticated or have longevity in their work. I would like to raise another issue for discussion. There are those in the medical profession who prefer to "medicalize" social issues. To label gun violence a medical emergency may be an attempt to let doctors have a say-so on what is ultimately a legal and moral issue. Doctors do not have backgrounds to permit them expertise in the laws of the land. On the other hand, like all citizens, doctors can express their opinions. The trans-gender issue is a particularly important issue in which pro-transition clinicians and organizations have expressed their opinions that experts and hospitals should have free rein to make decisions for children. I would argue that decisions for a 12 year old involve legal, moral as well as medical issues. We cannot allow self-appointed physicians to use their "expertise" to rob parents, families, churches, and dissenting organizations from participating in these decisions.
So what do we do? CPS in every state under the aegis of the governors should appoint a committee of qualified individuals -- lawyers, social workers, psychologists/psychiatrists, and physicians, including but not restricted to endocrinologists -- to oversee and advise actions in this arena. Developments in this area have catastrophic implications for children, families and societies. Why cannot we learn from our colleagues in Europe who have taken a far more conservative and restrictive approach to medical and surgical interventions prior to the age of consent???
Thank you for posting this informative and encouraging interview. I agree that "lawyering up" is the only effective way to handle these situations… short of homeschooling your child. My experience is that it's impossible to reason with the public schools. They are too entrenched in ideology and bureaucracy... I opted for homeschooling. However, I admire and respect all of those parents who are fighting the good fight. My heart is with them. Thank you again for this great interview, Frederick
Lisa, I am once again going to complain about your false "both sides"ism.
Texas is doing the RIGHT THING by protecting children from being mutilated. Those kids are being abused, and SHOULD be removed from their abusive parents.
This is an excellent primer for parents going through this nightmare. While we didn't have CPS knocking at our door, we did have a high school allow our child to socially transition without telling us. We discovered it purely by accident and one letter to the school and a sit-down with her teachers, principal and guidance counselor put an end to it.
These dynamics came up in my separation and divorce from an emotionally-abusive man. Our daughter "came out as 'trans'/nonbinary" about 2 years ago. He and I were on the same page about this being yet another manifestation of our daughter's significant mental health issues. We talked openly with each other about how much to allow and how to prevent her further going down this hole and keeping her focused on her actual mental health problems. But then in front of her affirming therapist, he would accuse me of not supporting her and used the therapist to gang up on me and declare whether I was going to use the pronouns (even though behind the therapists back, he was trash our daughter's trans ideology). It made me question reality and I realized it was part of his narcissistic abuse. For the record, I had/have chosen to use the pronouns in order to make sure I can maintain a relationship with her and support her in her true mental health struggles but abusive ex was really good at trying to win points in front of others by misrepresenting the truth. Anyway, this came up again from the other end when I was consulting a lawyer in the divorce who fully recognized my ex was a narcissist and his manipulative behavior. When I discussed my daughter, she asked me if he used the pronouns (he actually didn't), seemingly in an attempt to use it in court against him. I didn't go along with her and told her neither of us think our daughter is "trans." But I realized how parents can get caught in a catch-22 around this stuff.
So much about 'trans' reveals adult ineptitude.
Suicidality in young kids used to be nearly unheard of, 50 years ago. Now that mental health problems are getting more common in kids, indicating that more kids are not getting their relational/developmental needs met in early life, an "identity" has been invented to *explain* this new distress cohort, via an *innate feature* of the child; to placate these identity claims is considered the best way to handle this. Is this true of ANY other claimed issue that's linked to suicidal distress?
Is there no 60 year old teacher or Principal in these schools, who can say "Wait, this is new..."? This issue *did not exist* 15 years ago. It arrived AFTER an increase in child mental health problems arrived.
So I see a two-generation enactment, where new-minted adults are WAY less clued-in about children than adults generally used to be, and so they have LESS ability and confidence to sit with the self doubt and pain children experience, and so they NEED this pat explanation, w/ an easily-executed 'solution', however insane.
These adults do not know how to hold space for children's anguish and uncertainty. They do not know how to express sure belief in the child & the many ways kids are able to heal distress. It's like the kind of parent who only knows how to give a cookie or distract with an iPhone, but can't exhort, encourage, withstand-- they lack the range of parental skills. They have bad psychodynamic awareness, and a concurrent *need* to be heroes.
Without such adults, trans would never achieve lift-off.
Lisa, thanks for the provocative article. I am a retired pediatrician. I too worry about brining in CPS and under-informed family court judges to adjudicate custody issues in this situation. CPS workers are not particularly well educated, sophisticated or have longevity in their work. I would like to raise another issue for discussion. There are those in the medical profession who prefer to "medicalize" social issues. To label gun violence a medical emergency may be an attempt to let doctors have a say-so on what is ultimately a legal and moral issue. Doctors do not have backgrounds to permit them expertise in the laws of the land. On the other hand, like all citizens, doctors can express their opinions. The trans-gender issue is a particularly important issue in which pro-transition clinicians and organizations have expressed their opinions that experts and hospitals should have free rein to make decisions for children. I would argue that decisions for a 12 year old involve legal, moral as well as medical issues. We cannot allow self-appointed physicians to use their "expertise" to rob parents, families, churches, and dissenting organizations from participating in these decisions.
So what do we do? CPS in every state under the aegis of the governors should appoint a committee of qualified individuals -- lawyers, social workers, psychologists/psychiatrists, and physicians, including but not restricted to endocrinologists -- to oversee and advise actions in this arena. Developments in this area have catastrophic implications for children, families and societies. Why cannot we learn from our colleagues in Europe who have taken a far more conservative and restrictive approach to medical and surgical interventions prior to the age of consent???
Thank you for posting this informative and encouraging interview. I agree that "lawyering up" is the only effective way to handle these situations… short of homeschooling your child. My experience is that it's impossible to reason with the public schools. They are too entrenched in ideology and bureaucracy... I opted for homeschooling. However, I admire and respect all of those parents who are fighting the good fight. My heart is with them. Thank you again for this great interview, Frederick
Lisa, I am once again going to complain about your false "both sides"ism.
Texas is doing the RIGHT THING by protecting children from being mutilated. Those kids are being abused, and SHOULD be removed from their abusive parents.
This is an excellent primer for parents going through this nightmare. While we didn't have CPS knocking at our door, we did have a high school allow our child to socially transition without telling us. We discovered it purely by accident and one letter to the school and a sit-down with her teachers, principal and guidance counselor put an end to it.
These dynamics came up in my separation and divorce from an emotionally-abusive man. Our daughter "came out as 'trans'/nonbinary" about 2 years ago. He and I were on the same page about this being yet another manifestation of our daughter's significant mental health issues. We talked openly with each other about how much to allow and how to prevent her further going down this hole and keeping her focused on her actual mental health problems. But then in front of her affirming therapist, he would accuse me of not supporting her and used the therapist to gang up on me and declare whether I was going to use the pronouns (even though behind the therapists back, he was trash our daughter's trans ideology). It made me question reality and I realized it was part of his narcissistic abuse. For the record, I had/have chosen to use the pronouns in order to make sure I can maintain a relationship with her and support her in her true mental health struggles but abusive ex was really good at trying to win points in front of others by misrepresenting the truth. Anyway, this came up again from the other end when I was consulting a lawyer in the divorce who fully recognized my ex was a narcissist and his manipulative behavior. When I discussed my daughter, she asked me if he used the pronouns (he actually didn't), seemingly in an attempt to use it in court against him. I didn't go along with her and told her neither of us think our daughter is "trans." But I realized how parents can get caught in a catch-22 around this stuff.