I think your essay is spot on. Most (primarily young) people don't have the wherewithal to step back from those issues about which they are most passionate and realize that their ideas are defined by, and locked into a moment in time. Eventually — as you said — the cause de jour will change, old passions will subside, and reason will creep in. Unfortunately, a lot of individual damage can be done during this process. I recently wrote an historical essay on my Substack which talks about the British "woke social warriors" of the 17th and 18th century, and how they adamantly used their misunderstandings of biology to justify both monarchy and the subjugation of women. Now, these views look silly. Then, they were deadly serious. The historical perspective reveals the transience of social/political ideologies. Few have that perspective. Thank you for a thoughtful essay. Sincerely, Frederick
I always take time to remind myself that, despite my skepticism with gender ideology, I am now and always have been a liberal. I refuse to accept accusations that I am "moving right"; I'm demanding that the things I am expected to believe make sense. Time was that part of being on the left was rejecting doctrine, but when it comes to gender, I am no longer so sure.
Jul 5, 2023·edited Jul 5, 2023Liked by Lisa Selin Davis
We cannot count on “gender fatigue”. Predatory men in prison are not going to get tired of being able to be in women’s prisons or be in women’s shelters or changing rooms, Lisa.
The doctors and entities like Planned Parenthood who profit from providing confused young people with wrong sex hormones, double mastectomies and other “services” and so cause irreparable damage to those young people’s bodies without resolving their mental and emotional problems are not going to get fatigued.
Yes, many young people and not so-young people will shrug and just get on with their lives, but meanwhile, some states like California and Washington will lure confused, distressed minors from other states to run away from their “transphobic” parents and refuse to even respond to other states’ police missing persons inquiry attempts to locate such missing children. Which is a sex traffickers wet dream come true!
Please do not kid yourself that this will all sort itself out and the immense harm being done to children will stop, when there really are many adults, including school staff, therapists and doctors who are enamored of “gender identity” and determined to push vulnerable young people into thinking hormones and surgeries will resolve their distress.
Yes, you're right. Gender fatigue may set in for kids, which would be great. But so much has been encoded in law and policy that it's going to take real strength to get us out of it. I've gotten several versions of this comment so I'll write an update later. Thanks for this perspective.
Thank you for this post. I often send your articles to families that are struggling with gender politics.
I practice explorative gender therapy, unconditional positive regard, and share research and opinion that is sometimes different to the clients current outlook.
I studied for my degree in therapy in 1990. We were taught that THC was just a little thing, not addictive, an adolescent rite etc. But we have learned a lot since then. Research and scientific fact indicates that THC can have significant impact on the developing brain. Take a look at young adults who cannot emancipate or work because they have smoked marijuana for the last 10 years of their lives.
I am now fortunate to be an older therapist and recognize gender affirmative therapy as a dangerous theory. The beautiful thing is (as you have noted) several of my clients have come to the conclusion that they are “just who they are.” By exploring their world and discerning concepts, they have learned to take themselves out of the box that gender politics forced them into.
Of course, I have lost a few clients because as soon as we try to explore gender issues, they see me as trans phobic, a gate keeper. Even though I’m a lesbian any attempt at conversation as opposed to alignment, exposes me as “the enemy.”
And I am OK losing clients. It makes me a little sad that they can easily find someone who will agree to walk with them down the path of unprecedented medical,chemical and social chaos.
I’m OK because I’m calling it out. I am being an authentic therapist trying to meld empathy, dialog and science.
I may go to bed at night with a smaller bank account but a much better conscience.
And in the end we all know that sleeping is what wellness is all about!
If I have a combination of gender and compassion, fatigue… Could we coin a new disorder and create a TikTok sensation? Could I go to my therapist and demand that she see it my way or I will cancel her? Or, might my therapist listen to me, support me and help me see that assimilation is part of mental health and growth? I would hope she would help me find a healthy middle.
I believe gender demands have become an accommodating danger in our society.
I just wrote about Pride Fatigue now that we've turned a calendar page to July. Not that those flags are going to come down. In my own little world of butterfly gardening, I've achieved new successes, created data on the marked and remarkable increase iner great spangled fritillaries with short videos. They're very hard to photograph, as they flit about their aerial rollercoaster paths back and forth from the little woods and the flower beds.
I've now gathered bare bones data on women who left marriages in which their husbands develop an obsession, sometimes to the point of penury for the family, with the multitude of tasks involved in crossdressing. Women have "lent" their lingerie, their make-up and the family food budget during a period of false hope that he'll fatigue of it, he'll get bored with the charade. Unfortunately, none of our trajectories tell a hopeful story. Of 35 women now out of those relationships, 14 of were cajoled/coerced/convinced to "try out" sex role play with equipment like "strap ons" to "make him feel feminine." One woman damaged her C-section scars while at this undesired humping. 5 of us were raped when hubby decided is erect "clit" is now his penis and he's going to "do it the old way," but rough. Zero of those rapes were reported to law enforcement. 15 of us were vilified/defamed in sworn affidavits submitted to court during the divorce or were defamed by him on social media. I believe that, as in the case with most sexual assaults against women, much of the agony is unreported. It is too painful to bring back up. No one is keeping data on trans widows. No one but me.
Yes, you may be correct about a growing fatigue with the gender wars among the young. Meanwhile, however, we've got major institutions captured by this stuff--parents losing custody, children being sterilized--and an individual's doubts may not be a match or effective counterweight to institutional power.
Further evidence, should it be needed, that "persons assigned male at birth" have an unfair advantage that should rule out their participation in women's sports. The winner in the men's division of the Nathan's Famous hot dog contest ate 62. Second place ate 49. In the Women's division, the winner scored only 39.
Thanks, Lisa. I hope you are right. I also hope that we don't get too fatigued to help those already harmed. And I hope that when we wake up from the gender nap it is to reality and not to a new medical nightmare.
Fatigue is understandable. The recent endorsements of trans mythology from courts is especially discouraging. That's what I feared most from the medical societies' underwriting the ideology. What those judicial opinions prove is that lawyers somehow or other come to believe, despite ample contrary evidence, that they are embued with the ability to understand and reach indisputable conclusions regarding absolutely anything. If there's ever a lawsuit involving, say, quantum entanglement - what Einstein called "spooky action at a distance" - I'm sure the judge will with complete assurance pronounce his conclusion based on nothing but highly motivated but conflicting testimony bought and paid for by the parties.
My interest in fighting the trans ideologues' is as a gay man who had his own struggles with accepting himself just as God made him. Aside from some fleeting thoughts, I wasn't seriously suicidal unless, that is, you realize alcohol abuse as "suicide on the installment plan." My own recovery of mental health made me an enthusiastic foot soldier in the struggle for gay equality. I'm not so humble as to refrain from saying my efforts did change some hearts and minds in my own church community.
I'm now so old I remember when "queer" was the worst sort of slur, right up there with the forbidden N word, and not a label misappropriated by a pitiful bunch of attention seeking, ego deficient nitwits trying to claim some of the social cachet of "oppression". (Keep in mind, most if not the majority of the current crop of "queers" are entirely heterosexual, as much as NYTimes and NPR might try to suggest to the contrary.)
All that is why it breaks my heart to read of teenagers who are so disgusted with themselves and their emerging same-sex attractions that they imagine mutilating themselves is away to escape. Equally tragic are victims of sexual abuse who see the false promise of "sex change" as a way to evade it. Finally, I remember my confusion at age 12 or so with feelings that were wildly contrary to what I had been told to expect and that I knew were unacceptable in the extreme, indeed dangerous if known. Sometime I should write down the preposterous ways I tried then to reason or wish away the gay. I'm consequently alarmed by the enthusiasm for poisoning pubescent kids who are clearly confused as to what is happening to them and are being permanently injured by adults they think trustworthy. Puberty is the cure for "gender dysphoria", and what these kids need most is to learn God - and most decent people - love them just the way God made them.
The real allies of gay and lesbian people should realize that the trans ideology is the most homophobic current in our public discussion. If there's any "genocide" in the making, it's a genocide of gay people. As the Tavistock staffer asked, "What are we going to do when we run out of gay kids?" "Gender affirming care " is the new conversion therapy. We can't change the kids' minds to be socially acceptable; but hey! We can change their bodies to conform to social expectations!
I keep thinking of Churchill: "... never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing ... except to convictions of honour and good sense."
I couldn’t agree with you more. I think the more that gay and lesbian people share their own experiences and struggles during their formative years the better. We heard a lot of them in the 90s, and homosexuality thankfully became normalised in society and law; perhaps everyone became so relaxed and thought the message didn’t need to be reiterated?
While I certainly hope (and believe) you are right about people tiring of all this, I think it will take more to shut it down. For one thing, it will take society realizing that gender ideology is a radical destructive movement that encourages young vulnerable people (mostly gender non-conforming, but also vulnerable in other ways) to be embarrassed by their bodies, reject and harm them. It is disguised as a way of allowing young people to discover their "authentic selves," but that could not be further from the truth. Until we as a society see this for what it is, it will be allowed to go on. Sure, it may slow down due to fatigue, but there will still be hundreds of thousands harmed unless and until people wake up to reality!
Spot on. When it comes to gender, I’ve been saying that
Reality is that gender isn't part of reality.
Ghosts, genders, and goblins are imaginary.
Sex, stereotypes, and shaming are real
The endless discussion is boring and a waste of time. Nobody really cares how many pronouns there are, how many genders there are, how many magical creatures live near Hogwarts, or the various ways to ward off vampires. It’s all fiction, and affection.
Using the fiction of gender to bully masculine girls and feminine boys, as well as their friends and family, for tolerating their natural behaviors until they believe the only way out of misery is by attacking their friends, family and their bodies is a waste of time and must be stopped. There should be no debate.
Once the fictions of gender is abandoned we can then clarify reality further and stop exhausting debate.
People are entitled to be their sex, the only one they can ever be, behaving the only natural way they sense, without being persecuted into despair.
That entitlement does not require others to give up anything, only to allow people to live with their sex as they are without shame, threats and fear.
For gays, lesbians and bisexuals, that meant not persecuting them for being sexually attracted to the same sex, which is how they need to live with their sex. Remarkably nobody had to give up anything to do so, and all our lives are better.
This meant that nobody, on the basis of their own sex, required others to give up freedoms and rights on the basis of the other’s sex.
Giving up the fiction of gender simplifies life.
If I need to live my sex through specific expression meaningful to me, I should be allowed to do so without persecution if it does not infringe on the rights of others. Any further debate is exhausting - it is obvious, and requires no further substantiation.
That means in my active expression of sex, others likewise retain sex-based rights of speech, assembly and expression, as well as protection from indecency and sexual exploitation. These are enshrined in law already.
If I am male and I need to be recognized as a woman, I cannot do so by legally compelling speech, voiding right of assembly, voiding protection from indecency, and voiding protection from sexual exploitation. These are law.
If I am male I cannot force myself into female spaces. I canot compel women to associate with me. I cannot compel women to give up privacy. I cannot compel others to accept unwanted male sexual behavior such as fetishistic exhibitionism. These are law.
Agree with so much of this. I thought we had this figured out in the ‘70s and ‘80s with “Free to Be You and Me” and androgynous public figures like David Bowie and Annie Lennox. People should express themselves as they want. (Though others should also be free to not care for said expression, and depending on how it’s done, it may not be considered appropriate or professional in certain settings. Just as we tend to disfavor visible tattoos or extreme piercings or crazy hair colors in most (but not all) workplace settings, though that does seem to be (unfortunately IMO) changing.)
I assume, though, that you meant “affectation” in the following sentence: “It’s all fiction, and affection.”
I’m also curious what you mean by “If I am male and I need to be recognized as a woman...”. “Need to” and “recognized” in what sense? I do agree that no one should be compelled to refer to such a male as “she,” or allow that person to compete in women’s sports and use the women’s locker room. Just not sure what you’re getting at by the preamble of that sentence.
I simplified and reformulated my response. I type on a f*ing iPhone which magically changes words.
Sex Act
Given that:
- In reality gender isn't part of reality.
- Ghosts, genders, and goblins are imaginary.
- Sex, stereotypes, and shaming are real.
- Everything else is fiction, and affectation.
- We each are given the precious gift of our sex which we live with for all of our days…
We have the right to the freedom of pursuit of happiness with the unalterable gift of our sex.
A child has the right to grow to adulthood with their sex without the intervention of adults.
We have the freedom to speak about our sex without speech being compelled by others.
We have the freedom to choose with whom we wish to assemble on the basis of our sex.
We have the right to intimate privacy which respects the needs of our sex.
We have the right to live without compelled exposure to the intimate sex of others.
We have the right to share sexual affection without being compelled to do so against our will.
---
I removed the male bit. If a man want to live a life they believe resembles that of a woman, go for it. You just can’t compel women to act as though you are a woman.
Sufeitzy: "Reality is that gender isn't part of reality."
Maybe a clever quip, but I really don't think it holds much water. At least if one defines "gender" and "gender identity" -- as many quite reasonably do -- as a rough synonym for personality and personality types. Which I would assume you would consider a "part of reality". But for several examples, Colin Wright more or less does so, or he at least accepts that that is a common definition:
So any personality trait that differentially correlates with sex -- any sexually dimorphic trait -- might be said to constitute a separate axis on a multi-dimensional spectrum of gender.
And see this Note and the included post by biological psychologist Frederick Prete:
FP: "... there is a need for a thorough examination of what "identity" means from a psychological point of view, and the complex interacting factors that shape it. .... Clearly, people do have 'gender identities' just like they have identities pertaining to other societal roles and self-perceptions."
As Frederick argues at some length, the problem is not gender/gender-identity themselves, but the dog's breakfast that many have made out of the concept, and their misuses of it.
More particularly, it is less a problem that, say, some boy has a "feminine gender identity", that he has a "feminine gender" -- at least on some of those axes -- than that those misuses and misunderstandings leads others into thinking and arguing and tricking him into thinking that he should thereby mangle his genitalia to more closely match those of typical females. An egregious medical scandal, a crime of the century.
You are brilliant and I appreciate your work immensely.
I have marched in pride parades (as an ally, sorry for using that gnarly word), I celebrate my LGBT friends, and will defend them at any cost. I seek out and appreciate stories about LGBT people. This year was the first time
I surprisingly felt annoyed by Pride, wanting to scream ENOUGH ALREADY. Maybe I have too many cultural commentary substack subscriptions? In the hyper liberal places I live in and visit everything is 24/7 LGBTQIAA2S+++ and, yet, there is simultaneously a genocide of said people. It makes me want to not give a ^#*{ about anyone, retreat to a cabin in the woods, and spend the rest of my life living among animals.
a genocide? how so? there is no genocide of anyone. there is a mens rights movement that is lying to everyone about said genocide to erase the rights of women, kids, gays, parents, dysphoric ppl and others. show me your stat that supports a genocide claim and i will show you how its a lie. i know that sounds crazy but this is where we are.
Hi Kyle, When I used the word “genocide” I meant that people are screaming that there is one. I do not think there is one. My point (made before my first cup of coffee, lol) is that I am fatigued by simultaneously drowning in rainbows and that people are asserting there is an LGBT genocide. Personally, I do not use terms like “fascism” “genocide” “Nazi” etc. unless they TRULY apply. Thanks for asking about clarification. I should not post first thing in the morning!
If you want a glimmer of hope (at least I took it as a hopeful sign). 2 weeks ago, at our daughter’s College graduation ceremony, none of the 7 speakers (5 adults, 2 students) announced their pronouns. In contrast with Fall 2019 when we attended orientation and all of the student advisors, student speakers and various adults faculty and staff who were there to give up positive advice and a snapshot of the upcoming 4 years, ALL announced their pronouns. This is a major California university AND the School of Liberal Arts. It also may mean nothing....
LOL. Thank you. That’s one substack entry that made me laugh at the end bc it *is* so tiring! I love the ending here...”a nap”(!!). I’m going to take that humorous ending into my day, thank you.
I was a “gender-nonconforming” girl myself. Read: a girl who liked to act tough and who hated barbie dolls, knitting, sitting still in class or during mass. I was very attached to my harlequin, a rag doll who was definitely a "he". My uncle gave this doll to me, guided by my grandmother, when I was in hospital when I was five years old and nearly died. When I was in a good mood I would allow that my sister made my harlequin marry one of her dolls.
When I was a child, there were still all-girls schools. I felt completely different from the girls I was surrounded by and didn't want to be like them at all. I wasn't like that, I thought. The words "trans" and "gender" did not exist then, or at least I had never heard of these concepts.
During puberty, I discovered other aspects of myself: among other things, I realised I wasn’t as though as I had thought - for example: I’m so easily scared that up till now, I never made it beyond the blue baby-tracks when skiing. The changes in my body felt not unwelcome, just strange.
However, my mother affirmed me - over-affirmed - in what would nowadays be called “my gender” as a child. I wasn’t allowed to have long hair (this in contrast to the hairstyle of my sister), my mother bought me shirts from the boy section with collars with an insert made of cardboard - they were without any doubt not the kind of shirts girls would wear -, when my mother introduced my sister and me to an acquaintance she got confused and said we were her daughter and son (so, me). And so on. It all felt very strange. The only good thing about it all was that, unlike my sister, I didn’t have to do “feminine” household chores like ironing.
There is more to it, but in the end, I was thoroughly confused. I had intrusive images of myself as a boy and as a woman. I am glad the concepts “gender” and “trans” didn’t circulate in that times, because these ideas wouldn’t have helped me.
What helped?
In the first place the realisation that all these self-images were distortions of reality: of my real body, of what I really was like and what I really preferred (“masculine” ánd “feminine” things), of how other people really saw me.
In the second place it helped me to trace back why, as a child, it was so important to me to maintain a certain self-image, for example of being “though”. This was certainly in part driven by a wish to feel able to cope with unsafe circumstances.
In the third place, it helped me to see more clearly how society floods us with gender-stereotypical images and how this isn’t reality, either. We are all mosaics of feminine and masculine traits and preferences, and in the end, why should this be important?
In the fourth place, it helped to let go of fighting against all these inner and outer images: to just let them exist and focus on what was really important for living my life. By doing this, I started to really live my life, and my “gender” questions (before the word existed) faded out in the long run. I have no need for a gender cage, and I have no need at all to alter my body to look like belonging to another sex.
I think that it is positive that young people nowadays care less and less about all these gender boxes and fantasised gender characteristics. Hopefully, these themes will fade out in society.
Indeed, it is really scary to see how these kids are pressured to think that they would be better of with an altered body. I know people who have never bothered about gender because they fitted nicely in the expectations of society, but who now really believe that gender is a real, innate essence, and that it is humane and progressive to tell children who have a difficult time to adapt to their sex that they will be helped by medications and surgery when they enter puberty.
Recently, I saw a book for toddlers about a sheep that wanted to be a pig, that yelped like a pig and liked to play in the mud like a pig. The solution proposed in this book was that the veterinarian shaved the little sheep, and then became visible that underneath the wool the sheep had a pink skin like that of a pig. In the book, the veterinarian even made a curl in the tail of the sheep. After this transformation, the sheep was accepted as a playmate by the pigs.
This is a very clear example of indoctrinating children to believe that if you don’t behave like other members of your group, you don’t really belong to this group, and the solution then is surgery. This is clearly a message that will harm GNC children.
Don't be mean and don't be selfish. the details on the rest are really boring and always have been. The old religions are awful, that doesn't mean we need new religions.
I think your essay is spot on. Most (primarily young) people don't have the wherewithal to step back from those issues about which they are most passionate and realize that their ideas are defined by, and locked into a moment in time. Eventually — as you said — the cause de jour will change, old passions will subside, and reason will creep in. Unfortunately, a lot of individual damage can be done during this process. I recently wrote an historical essay on my Substack which talks about the British "woke social warriors" of the 17th and 18th century, and how they adamantly used their misunderstandings of biology to justify both monarchy and the subjugation of women. Now, these views look silly. Then, they were deadly serious. The historical perspective reveals the transience of social/political ideologies. Few have that perspective. Thank you for a thoughtful essay. Sincerely, Frederick
Great piece!
Thank you, that was very nice of you. Frederick.
I always take time to remind myself that, despite my skepticism with gender ideology, I am now and always have been a liberal. I refuse to accept accusations that I am "moving right"; I'm demanding that the things I am expected to believe make sense. Time was that part of being on the left was rejecting doctrine, but when it comes to gender, I am no longer so sure.
We cannot count on “gender fatigue”. Predatory men in prison are not going to get tired of being able to be in women’s prisons or be in women’s shelters or changing rooms, Lisa.
The doctors and entities like Planned Parenthood who profit from providing confused young people with wrong sex hormones, double mastectomies and other “services” and so cause irreparable damage to those young people’s bodies without resolving their mental and emotional problems are not going to get fatigued.
Yes, many young people and not so-young people will shrug and just get on with their lives, but meanwhile, some states like California and Washington will lure confused, distressed minors from other states to run away from their “transphobic” parents and refuse to even respond to other states’ police missing persons inquiry attempts to locate such missing children. Which is a sex traffickers wet dream come true!
Please do not kid yourself that this will all sort itself out and the immense harm being done to children will stop, when there really are many adults, including school staff, therapists and doctors who are enamored of “gender identity” and determined to push vulnerable young people into thinking hormones and surgeries will resolve their distress.
Yes, you're right. Gender fatigue may set in for kids, which would be great. But so much has been encoded in law and policy that it's going to take real strength to get us out of it. I've gotten several versions of this comment so I'll write an update later. Thanks for this perspective.
Thank you for this post. I often send your articles to families that are struggling with gender politics.
I practice explorative gender therapy, unconditional positive regard, and share research and opinion that is sometimes different to the clients current outlook.
I studied for my degree in therapy in 1990. We were taught that THC was just a little thing, not addictive, an adolescent rite etc. But we have learned a lot since then. Research and scientific fact indicates that THC can have significant impact on the developing brain. Take a look at young adults who cannot emancipate or work because they have smoked marijuana for the last 10 years of their lives.
I am now fortunate to be an older therapist and recognize gender affirmative therapy as a dangerous theory. The beautiful thing is (as you have noted) several of my clients have come to the conclusion that they are “just who they are.” By exploring their world and discerning concepts, they have learned to take themselves out of the box that gender politics forced them into.
Of course, I have lost a few clients because as soon as we try to explore gender issues, they see me as trans phobic, a gate keeper. Even though I’m a lesbian any attempt at conversation as opposed to alignment, exposes me as “the enemy.”
And I am OK losing clients. It makes me a little sad that they can easily find someone who will agree to walk with them down the path of unprecedented medical,chemical and social chaos.
I’m OK because I’m calling it out. I am being an authentic therapist trying to meld empathy, dialog and science.
I may go to bed at night with a smaller bank account but a much better conscience.
And in the end we all know that sleeping is what wellness is all about!
If I have a combination of gender and compassion, fatigue… Could we coin a new disorder and create a TikTok sensation? Could I go to my therapist and demand that she see it my way or I will cancel her? Or, might my therapist listen to me, support me and help me see that assimilation is part of mental health and growth? I would hope she would help me find a healthy middle.
I believe gender demands have become an accommodating danger in our society.
I relate super hard to all this. I am a therapist too and a parent of a non binary /trans masculine person.
I just wrote about Pride Fatigue now that we've turned a calendar page to July. Not that those flags are going to come down. In my own little world of butterfly gardening, I've achieved new successes, created data on the marked and remarkable increase iner great spangled fritillaries with short videos. They're very hard to photograph, as they flit about their aerial rollercoaster paths back and forth from the little woods and the flower beds.
I've now gathered bare bones data on women who left marriages in which their husbands develop an obsession, sometimes to the point of penury for the family, with the multitude of tasks involved in crossdressing. Women have "lent" their lingerie, their make-up and the family food budget during a period of false hope that he'll fatigue of it, he'll get bored with the charade. Unfortunately, none of our trajectories tell a hopeful story. Of 35 women now out of those relationships, 14 of were cajoled/coerced/convinced to "try out" sex role play with equipment like "strap ons" to "make him feel feminine." One woman damaged her C-section scars while at this undesired humping. 5 of us were raped when hubby decided is erect "clit" is now his penis and he's going to "do it the old way," but rough. Zero of those rapes were reported to law enforcement. 15 of us were vilified/defamed in sworn affidavits submitted to court during the divorce or were defamed by him on social media. I believe that, as in the case with most sexual assaults against women, much of the agony is unreported. It is too painful to bring back up. No one is keeping data on trans widows. No one but me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RIPO4EtJG8
Yes, you may be correct about a growing fatigue with the gender wars among the young. Meanwhile, however, we've got major institutions captured by this stuff--parents losing custody, children being sterilized--and an individual's doubts may not be a match or effective counterweight to institutional power.
Very good point. I neglected to note how the institutionalization in law and medicine will outlast our fatigue
Further evidence, should it be needed, that "persons assigned male at birth" have an unfair advantage that should rule out their participation in women's sports. The winner in the men's division of the Nathan's Famous hot dog contest ate 62. Second place ate 49. In the Women's division, the winner scored only 39.
Thanks, Lisa. I hope you are right. I also hope that we don't get too fatigued to help those already harmed. And I hope that when we wake up from the gender nap it is to reality and not to a new medical nightmare.
Fatigue is understandable. The recent endorsements of trans mythology from courts is especially discouraging. That's what I feared most from the medical societies' underwriting the ideology. What those judicial opinions prove is that lawyers somehow or other come to believe, despite ample contrary evidence, that they are embued with the ability to understand and reach indisputable conclusions regarding absolutely anything. If there's ever a lawsuit involving, say, quantum entanglement - what Einstein called "spooky action at a distance" - I'm sure the judge will with complete assurance pronounce his conclusion based on nothing but highly motivated but conflicting testimony bought and paid for by the parties.
My interest in fighting the trans ideologues' is as a gay man who had his own struggles with accepting himself just as God made him. Aside from some fleeting thoughts, I wasn't seriously suicidal unless, that is, you realize alcohol abuse as "suicide on the installment plan." My own recovery of mental health made me an enthusiastic foot soldier in the struggle for gay equality. I'm not so humble as to refrain from saying my efforts did change some hearts and minds in my own church community.
I'm now so old I remember when "queer" was the worst sort of slur, right up there with the forbidden N word, and not a label misappropriated by a pitiful bunch of attention seeking, ego deficient nitwits trying to claim some of the social cachet of "oppression". (Keep in mind, most if not the majority of the current crop of "queers" are entirely heterosexual, as much as NYTimes and NPR might try to suggest to the contrary.)
All that is why it breaks my heart to read of teenagers who are so disgusted with themselves and their emerging same-sex attractions that they imagine mutilating themselves is away to escape. Equally tragic are victims of sexual abuse who see the false promise of "sex change" as a way to evade it. Finally, I remember my confusion at age 12 or so with feelings that were wildly contrary to what I had been told to expect and that I knew were unacceptable in the extreme, indeed dangerous if known. Sometime I should write down the preposterous ways I tried then to reason or wish away the gay. I'm consequently alarmed by the enthusiasm for poisoning pubescent kids who are clearly confused as to what is happening to them and are being permanently injured by adults they think trustworthy. Puberty is the cure for "gender dysphoria", and what these kids need most is to learn God - and most decent people - love them just the way God made them.
The real allies of gay and lesbian people should realize that the trans ideology is the most homophobic current in our public discussion. If there's any "genocide" in the making, it's a genocide of gay people. As the Tavistock staffer asked, "What are we going to do when we run out of gay kids?" "Gender affirming care " is the new conversion therapy. We can't change the kids' minds to be socially acceptable; but hey! We can change their bodies to conform to social expectations!
I keep thinking of Churchill: "... never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing ... except to convictions of honour and good sense."
I couldn’t agree with you more. I think the more that gay and lesbian people share their own experiences and struggles during their formative years the better. We heard a lot of them in the 90s, and homosexuality thankfully became normalised in society and law; perhaps everyone became so relaxed and thought the message didn’t need to be reiterated?
While I certainly hope (and believe) you are right about people tiring of all this, I think it will take more to shut it down. For one thing, it will take society realizing that gender ideology is a radical destructive movement that encourages young vulnerable people (mostly gender non-conforming, but also vulnerable in other ways) to be embarrassed by their bodies, reject and harm them. It is disguised as a way of allowing young people to discover their "authentic selves," but that could not be further from the truth. Until we as a society see this for what it is, it will be allowed to go on. Sure, it may slow down due to fatigue, but there will still be hundreds of thousands harmed unless and until people wake up to reality!
Spot on. When it comes to gender, I’ve been saying that
Reality is that gender isn't part of reality.
Ghosts, genders, and goblins are imaginary.
Sex, stereotypes, and shaming are real
The endless discussion is boring and a waste of time. Nobody really cares how many pronouns there are, how many genders there are, how many magical creatures live near Hogwarts, or the various ways to ward off vampires. It’s all fiction, and affection.
Using the fiction of gender to bully masculine girls and feminine boys, as well as their friends and family, for tolerating their natural behaviors until they believe the only way out of misery is by attacking their friends, family and their bodies is a waste of time and must be stopped. There should be no debate.
Once the fictions of gender is abandoned we can then clarify reality further and stop exhausting debate.
People are entitled to be their sex, the only one they can ever be, behaving the only natural way they sense, without being persecuted into despair.
That entitlement does not require others to give up anything, only to allow people to live with their sex as they are without shame, threats and fear.
For gays, lesbians and bisexuals, that meant not persecuting them for being sexually attracted to the same sex, which is how they need to live with their sex. Remarkably nobody had to give up anything to do so, and all our lives are better.
This meant that nobody, on the basis of their own sex, required others to give up freedoms and rights on the basis of the other’s sex.
Giving up the fiction of gender simplifies life.
If I need to live my sex through specific expression meaningful to me, I should be allowed to do so without persecution if it does not infringe on the rights of others. Any further debate is exhausting - it is obvious, and requires no further substantiation.
That means in my active expression of sex, others likewise retain sex-based rights of speech, assembly and expression, as well as protection from indecency and sexual exploitation. These are enshrined in law already.
If I am male and I need to be recognized as a woman, I cannot do so by legally compelling speech, voiding right of assembly, voiding protection from indecency, and voiding protection from sexual exploitation. These are law.
If I am male I cannot force myself into female spaces. I canot compel women to associate with me. I cannot compel women to give up privacy. I cannot compel others to accept unwanted male sexual behavior such as fetishistic exhibitionism. These are law.
Time is up. Subject is settled. Move on.
Agree with so much of this. I thought we had this figured out in the ‘70s and ‘80s with “Free to Be You and Me” and androgynous public figures like David Bowie and Annie Lennox. People should express themselves as they want. (Though others should also be free to not care for said expression, and depending on how it’s done, it may not be considered appropriate or professional in certain settings. Just as we tend to disfavor visible tattoos or extreme piercings or crazy hair colors in most (but not all) workplace settings, though that does seem to be (unfortunately IMO) changing.)
I assume, though, that you meant “affectation” in the following sentence: “It’s all fiction, and affection.”
I’m also curious what you mean by “If I am male and I need to be recognized as a woman...”. “Need to” and “recognized” in what sense? I do agree that no one should be compelled to refer to such a male as “she,” or allow that person to compete in women’s sports and use the women’s locker room. Just not sure what you’re getting at by the preamble of that sentence.
I simplified and reformulated my response. I type on a f*ing iPhone which magically changes words.
Sex Act
Given that:
- In reality gender isn't part of reality.
- Ghosts, genders, and goblins are imaginary.
- Sex, stereotypes, and shaming are real.
- Everything else is fiction, and affectation.
- We each are given the precious gift of our sex which we live with for all of our days…
We have the right to the freedom of pursuit of happiness with the unalterable gift of our sex.
A child has the right to grow to adulthood with their sex without the intervention of adults.
We have the freedom to speak about our sex without speech being compelled by others.
We have the freedom to choose with whom we wish to assemble on the basis of our sex.
We have the right to intimate privacy which respects the needs of our sex.
We have the right to live without compelled exposure to the intimate sex of others.
We have the right to share sexual affection without being compelled to do so against our will.
---
I removed the male bit. If a man want to live a life they believe resembles that of a woman, go for it. You just can’t compel women to act as though you are a woman.
Sufeitzy: "Reality is that gender isn't part of reality."
Maybe a clever quip, but I really don't think it holds much water. At least if one defines "gender" and "gender identity" -- as many quite reasonably do -- as a rough synonym for personality and personality types. Which I would assume you would consider a "part of reality". But for several examples, Colin Wright more or less does so, or he at least accepts that that is a common definition:
https://twitter.com/SwipeWright/status/1234040036091236352
And your good buddy Chris Fox more or less does so himself:
CF: "Sex: male or female. Biology
Gender: personality; loosely correlated with 'sex,' ...."
https://www.realityslaststand.com/p/the-gender-revolution-comes-for-biology/comment/17807022
So any personality trait that differentially correlates with sex -- any sexually dimorphic trait -- might be said to constitute a separate axis on a multi-dimensional spectrum of gender.
And see this Note and the included post by biological psychologist Frederick Prete:
FP: "... there is a need for a thorough examination of what "identity" means from a psychological point of view, and the complex interacting factors that shape it. .... Clearly, people do have 'gender identities' just like they have identities pertaining to other societal roles and self-perceptions."
https://substack.com/@everythingisbiology/note/c-17943155
As Frederick argues at some length, the problem is not gender/gender-identity themselves, but the dog's breakfast that many have made out of the concept, and their misuses of it.
More particularly, it is less a problem that, say, some boy has a "feminine gender identity", that he has a "feminine gender" -- at least on some of those axes -- than that those misuses and misunderstandings leads others into thinking and arguing and tricking him into thinking that he should thereby mangle his genitalia to more closely match those of typical females. An egregious medical scandal, a crime of the century.
You are brilliant and I appreciate your work immensely.
I have marched in pride parades (as an ally, sorry for using that gnarly word), I celebrate my LGBT friends, and will defend them at any cost. I seek out and appreciate stories about LGBT people. This year was the first time
I surprisingly felt annoyed by Pride, wanting to scream ENOUGH ALREADY. Maybe I have too many cultural commentary substack subscriptions? In the hyper liberal places I live in and visit everything is 24/7 LGBTQIAA2S+++ and, yet, there is simultaneously a genocide of said people. It makes me want to not give a ^#*{ about anyone, retreat to a cabin in the woods, and spend the rest of my life living among animals.
a genocide? how so? there is no genocide of anyone. there is a mens rights movement that is lying to everyone about said genocide to erase the rights of women, kids, gays, parents, dysphoric ppl and others. show me your stat that supports a genocide claim and i will show you how its a lie. i know that sounds crazy but this is where we are.
Hi Kyle, When I used the word “genocide” I meant that people are screaming that there is one. I do not think there is one. My point (made before my first cup of coffee, lol) is that I am fatigued by simultaneously drowning in rainbows and that people are asserting there is an LGBT genocide. Personally, I do not use terms like “fascism” “genocide” “Nazi” etc. unless they TRULY apply. Thanks for asking about clarification. I should not post first thing in the morning!
If you want a glimmer of hope (at least I took it as a hopeful sign). 2 weeks ago, at our daughter’s College graduation ceremony, none of the 7 speakers (5 adults, 2 students) announced their pronouns. In contrast with Fall 2019 when we attended orientation and all of the student advisors, student speakers and various adults faculty and staff who were there to give up positive advice and a snapshot of the upcoming 4 years, ALL announced their pronouns. This is a major California university AND the School of Liberal Arts. It also may mean nothing....
LOL. Thank you. That’s one substack entry that made me laugh at the end bc it *is* so tiring! I love the ending here...”a nap”(!!). I’m going to take that humorous ending into my day, thank you.
I was a “gender-nonconforming” girl myself. Read: a girl who liked to act tough and who hated barbie dolls, knitting, sitting still in class or during mass. I was very attached to my harlequin, a rag doll who was definitely a "he". My uncle gave this doll to me, guided by my grandmother, when I was in hospital when I was five years old and nearly died. When I was in a good mood I would allow that my sister made my harlequin marry one of her dolls.
When I was a child, there were still all-girls schools. I felt completely different from the girls I was surrounded by and didn't want to be like them at all. I wasn't like that, I thought. The words "trans" and "gender" did not exist then, or at least I had never heard of these concepts.
During puberty, I discovered other aspects of myself: among other things, I realised I wasn’t as though as I had thought - for example: I’m so easily scared that up till now, I never made it beyond the blue baby-tracks when skiing. The changes in my body felt not unwelcome, just strange.
However, my mother affirmed me - over-affirmed - in what would nowadays be called “my gender” as a child. I wasn’t allowed to have long hair (this in contrast to the hairstyle of my sister), my mother bought me shirts from the boy section with collars with an insert made of cardboard - they were without any doubt not the kind of shirts girls would wear -, when my mother introduced my sister and me to an acquaintance she got confused and said we were her daughter and son (so, me). And so on. It all felt very strange. The only good thing about it all was that, unlike my sister, I didn’t have to do “feminine” household chores like ironing.
There is more to it, but in the end, I was thoroughly confused. I had intrusive images of myself as a boy and as a woman. I am glad the concepts “gender” and “trans” didn’t circulate in that times, because these ideas wouldn’t have helped me.
What helped?
In the first place the realisation that all these self-images were distortions of reality: of my real body, of what I really was like and what I really preferred (“masculine” ánd “feminine” things), of how other people really saw me.
In the second place it helped me to trace back why, as a child, it was so important to me to maintain a certain self-image, for example of being “though”. This was certainly in part driven by a wish to feel able to cope with unsafe circumstances.
In the third place, it helped me to see more clearly how society floods us with gender-stereotypical images and how this isn’t reality, either. We are all mosaics of feminine and masculine traits and preferences, and in the end, why should this be important?
In the fourth place, it helped to let go of fighting against all these inner and outer images: to just let them exist and focus on what was really important for living my life. By doing this, I started to really live my life, and my “gender” questions (before the word existed) faded out in the long run. I have no need for a gender cage, and I have no need at all to alter my body to look like belonging to another sex.
I think that it is positive that young people nowadays care less and less about all these gender boxes and fantasised gender characteristics. Hopefully, these themes will fade out in society.
Indeed, it is really scary to see how these kids are pressured to think that they would be better of with an altered body. I know people who have never bothered about gender because they fitted nicely in the expectations of society, but who now really believe that gender is a real, innate essence, and that it is humane and progressive to tell children who have a difficult time to adapt to their sex that they will be helped by medications and surgery when they enter puberty.
Recently, I saw a book for toddlers about a sheep that wanted to be a pig, that yelped like a pig and liked to play in the mud like a pig. The solution proposed in this book was that the veterinarian shaved the little sheep, and then became visible that underneath the wool the sheep had a pink skin like that of a pig. In the book, the veterinarian even made a curl in the tail of the sheep. After this transformation, the sheep was accepted as a playmate by the pigs.
This is a very clear example of indoctrinating children to believe that if you don’t behave like other members of your group, you don’t really belong to this group, and the solution then is surgery. This is clearly a message that will harm GNC children.
Don't be mean and don't be selfish. the details on the rest are really boring and always have been. The old religions are awful, that doesn't mean we need new religions.