Dear readers: You may have noticed a little less posting lately, and a lack of Friday round-up. I apologize! I haven’t found anyone to take over BROADview in Brief yet (ping me if you’re interested!) and am behind on my book and there are other personal and physical things that I won’t go into but, you know: life.
Also, when I started this Substack, it was because I’d spent several years trying to correct or add to the liberal media narrative about “trans kids” and “gender-affirming care.” I felt complicit because of how I’d written and reported before, and I also felt incensed at the dismissal of any dissenting point of view as bigotry. It has been so hard to live in the world I do, knowing things others don’t, seeing things as others can’t. But now there’s just so much to keep track of every week. It is really overwhelming.
At the same time, I’m deeply grateful that I’m forced to consider perspectives I disagree with, that I can’t escape how some people have learned to understand this issue. It keeps me from being radicalized, from trading one closed group for another.
But I’m tired. There’s been a lot of loss. I’m so lucky that I get to write this book, to finally say what I need to, but it’s also a lot harder than I thought it would be. I’m slow.
I bet I’m not the only one! So please, use this as your Friday bitch session. You can bitch at and about me, too—I know that my lack of hard-and-fast pronoun rules piss some of you off, that many of you feel chased away from Democrats and liberals and are frustrated that I don’t give up on them completely. I get it. I really do.
So go forth and talk about what you need to here. Be there for each other.
I don't do 1/100 th of what you do and I am exhausted. Exhausted from lies, hate, worry, fear. I hate that I became a person who suspects innocent tall masculine women and short men on the street of being "trans". Embarrassed that when my naive, ideologically captured daughter tells me "Mom I met this girl at work", my first thought is "is she a real girl" . That I became a kind of person who smiles at her coworkers and thinks "I wonder where you stand on transgender issue". Embarrassed of hate from both sides, right and left. Embarrassed that I cannot in good faith vote in this elections but that I will be secretly relieved if Harris loses although it would mean that Trump wins. Exhausted , scared, and embarrassed.
I could have written this.... all the things. Constantly trying to detect if people are the real sex they appear to be, wondering if they had been on puberty blockers, on and on and on. It is maddening. I want to move back into not caring, but it is too important not to care. Being able to accurately detect a person's sex is at the essence of the human experience. I don't want children to grow up confused about it's importance, nor do I want to see people willingly harming themselves because they think it will make them happy. And then there is the election.... ugh.
Please know that there are very many of us on the Liberal Left who haven't fallen into the hell-hole of Trans ideology. In particular, the vast numbers of lesbians and gay men who have been witnessing the erasure of our history, culture and identities by the dangerous trend of re-affirming gender stereotypes. We are fighting back. But it's going to take time.
If this election was just about Trans issues, maybe I wouldn't vote, either. But it's about so much more than that. The only, only chance we have of regaining balance in the national conversation about gender issues and the safety of our children is if Harris wins. Because then at least competent people will be running the government, as opposed to dangerous idealogues who believe we shouldn't have any personal freedoms at all other than to deny medical reality and own a gun.
Thanks for your reply, Kim. See, I came to view Harris and Walz as dangerous idealogues, and not just on gender issue. I don't think they are competent. I don't even think they are compassionate - I think they are opportunists. If you want one example of a non-gender related issue, read this article on identity based law that Walz passed. https://freeblackthought.substack.com/p/equity-vs-equal-protection-the-walz. The law shows no compassion for anyone - children or adults, minority or not. It is purely ideologically driven and will cause harm. And to be honest, even if I only disagreed with them on the gender issue, I still wouldn't vote for them, since it shows lack of critical thinking, lack of honesty, and of integrity. And yeah, it is deeply personal.
Good comment (among many here)! I wondered what you meant in the last paragraph about if Harris wins -- that Trump and his associates would be more dangerous ideologues than Harris and hers? I agree with you, as I think if Trump wins, national conversations could be over, abortion could become illegal nationally, gun control debate would be quashed, public lands and natural areas would be sold off to the highest bidder, etc., though I think many Democrats in power are dangerous ideologues about gender. But I can't not vote, only agitate my reps to do the right thing and stop being shills for the trans medical industrial complex. Time will tell, let's hope time will be kinder than it seems to be so far... (10 steps forward, 8 backward?)
So much of the mess we're in on the Left is from an over-abundance of compassion. The desire to accept everyone. Even the militant cancel culture started out as compassion, only a very focused compassion run amok. I believe that this round of extremism is close to running its course. The fever is beginning to break. Most of the defund the police movements and full-on legalization of all drugs being course corrected. The NIMBYism that has contributed to our sky-high housing costs is shifting to YIMBYism. And it's all because we are paying attention to the facts on the ground.
This is the difference between the Left and the Right, right now. The GOP (NOT all Republicans, the gerrymander-skewed version of the GOP currently in power) are not driven by compassion, they are driven by fear. It's a very useful political tool. Gets people into their reptile brains, so they quit thinking. The Right's narrative around gender diversity is that it is inherently bad.
We've spent the last 100 years breaking out of gender stereotypes, with increasing levels of freedom. Personally, I think this is great. But in the last 20 years or so, science and social media have allowed us to rush into a mass experiment without any safety net. What we need is more education, so all of those compassionate people will start to realize it is not even close to as simple a situation as they seem to believe.
I find Harris embarrassing. Voting for her will physically hurt. But the Left won't accept a course correction from the Right. It will be all RESIST and riots for 4 painful years. Change will have to come incrementally from within. Also who are these gays and lesbians that see trans issues clearly. I wish I knew some of them. I feel alone.
The accurate way to describe the problem you're trying to describe is to say that your ability to discern sex has been undermined by this cult. Are you familiar with Amy Sousa? She's written / talked a lot about how perceiving (I would say discerning) a person's sex is an innate, deeply evolved and important instinct, which trans terrorism (my term) undermines, leaving us with no ground under our feet.
I'm gonna vote Libertarian. Oliver Chase is the least woke candidate on my ballot (which I have now, as an ex-pat). His trans stance isn't perfect either, but the only party who gets it right is the Republicans, and I can't in good conscience vote for THAT moron.
I hear you on trying to make sure you don't trade one echo chamber for another. I regularly read what is being said by parents on this reddit page https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/ to see if I can understand them better. (I don't) Lisa don't be hard on yourself. I will keep subscribing even if you don't publish sometimes.
Thank you for sharing this! Helpful. I talked to someone the other day who had socially transitioned her son, and corrected herself and said she didn't have a son anymore. And I was able to refrain from spewing facts at her and ask some questions—If I can just slip into professional mode I'm able to be curious. Interpersonally, it's kind of torture.
Like Muffin Mama, I see my subscription at this point primarily as supporting your work on the book. If that means publishing here is lighter for a while, so be it. It’s for the best of all possible causes.
I tried reading that reddit for the same reason... Then I saw a post from a parent looking for compression leggings for her (sorry, I assume it's a mom) 11 y.o. son and just felt physically sick. Echo chambers or not, what could this parent be possibly thinking?
Compression leggings, the leg version of a binder? What could these parents be thinking, if they are thinking!? What happened to everyone's common sense? I think it's been scared out of them.
New Evidence Challenges Institutionalized Belief That Transgender Teens Become Transgender Adults, Undermining Core Defense of Medical Gender Transitions for Minors
Your articles are comprehensive and thorough. I'm sure this is helpful to untold numbers of parents. Have you ever considered reporting on trans widows? The new documentary from Indian auteur, Vaishnavi Sundar explores the effects of a husband/father's sudden self ID as "female" on the family. The mental health profession will apparently not admit the strain on the wives and children. I collect the only data in the world on women who got out of this suddenly untenable marriage at my channel on YouTube, Trans Widow Ute Heggen.
Link to Behind the Looking Glass at Lime Soda Films channel:
I watched this documentary, heartbreaking stories. Such strength in telling stories. Hope more people find it on YouTube who need to hear these accounts.
Ullr, thanks. There are so many untold stories, gaslit children and young adults realizing too late the harm done in the treatments. I collect the sole data in the world on trans widows and so far with 60 profiles, more than 1/3 of us were sexually assaulted and between 1/3 and half were physically assaulted by husband before she got out. It is a cult, a dangerous one.
Lisa I am a mom of a 22 yer old daughter in this cult and I love what you write. How you inform and challenging my thinking. I agree, there is SO much information out there on the how and why we got here as well as the current events of which there seem to be new developments, research and people waking up to this scandal daily. I need to find a way to consolidate my research and stay informed but don’t yet know how to limit my consulting of information. Keep up the good fight in any way you need to. Every little bit is so valuable to us. My view of the world in which I live has been permanently fractured —cracked open to reveal a poison inside disguised as kindness. I am desperate to one day have more people wake up and shout ‘enough’! We parents feel so incredibly alone in this.
Whatever a Harris presidency would or wouldn’t do regarding trans issues, it would affect only a very, very small percentage of the population. A Trump presidency, by contrast, would have disastrous consequences for the entire country and its future. Please don’t vote against Harris based on this one issue. If it helps, she’s not as gung ho on medicalization as she once was.
This is just my thinking and approach, with no wish to impose it on anyone else: I don't have any confidence in the Democrats on GC issues, including Harris and Walz, and I think it is going to take decades of hard work and advocacy to clean this up. That said, I will be voting for Harris and Walz precisely because I have assessed, as you have, that on the balance of harms to our country and the world, the alternative is far worse. I would add that I see DJT and Vance as entirely transaction, with only their own interests in mind, so they cannot be relied on to fulfill anything they promise.
Re down ballot, where I live, there aren't viable alternative candidates, so I'm not left with much of an option there but to vote blank ballot or a write-in, and I will definitely do that in some instances. Also, I am in NYC, and I will DEFINITELY vote against Prop 1. I will also continue to speak and write to my D electeds and candidates to convey my concerns and propose alternatives and to look for concerted ways to do that.
I do feel a lot of despair about these times, but one must live in hope.
Yes to voting against Prop 1. That is what will get me to the polls. I understand the analysis and voting for Harris/Walz "on balance." I just can't do it, given what this means for my own child and my own family. But I won't vote for Trump either. In NYC, it really doesn't matter much what I do, so I'm not so concerned about it - but Prop 1 - that's a different story.
I still have hope that things will turn around, once the Dems realize this could be a losing issue for them, and once the greater population realizes what's been happening right under their noses to harm their children or their neighbors' children and to undermine women's rights and human rights.
I feel similarly, coming from a "blue" state, so no matter how I vote, the state will go Democratic. Of course I would never vote for Trump/Vance, that would make no sense to me. They are scary narcissists, never to be trusted, imo. So I could decide not to vote... but if this country ever does away with the electoral college, we would all need to vote, because then actual vote count would matter (i.e. based on popular vote, Hilary would have won and history would have taken a non-Trumpian turn -- what could that have been like, I wonder)
I hear you loud and clear, and appreciate so much that you have weighed in. Above all, I am so with you on defeating Prop 1. That, to me, too, is the big enchilada in New York. It is horrifying to see how few people know what is at stake here.
@sallyharrellga, Senator Sally Harrell: I notice you have liked what I wrote and am wondering what caught your eye. Most particularly, have you read the Final Report of the Cass Review, and if so, has it affected your view on the subject of medical interventions for children who are confused or distressed about their sex? (Of course, if you haven’t read it, I do highly comment it to you, a link is here: https://cass.independent-review.uk/home/publications/final-report/)
I will not vote for anyone who won't stand up for the rights of half this country (women) or children. I haven't returned my mail-in ballot yet but I'm still vacillating between voting for the Libertarian candidate (the least objectionable and hardly perfect candidate) and just writing "None of the above" and send it back.
Yes, I may register a non-voting ballot as a protest against our shitty political wannabes.
Re voting v. not voting, my own thought, for what it’s worth, is it’s better to protest vote (via blank ballot, for example) rather than not vote, and make sure to let the candidates know why, as it otherwise might not be visible.
Thank you. Exactly the gist of the comment I was about to add. As a Dem, I can't vote for Dems because they are rewriting laws and the legal definition of "woman" to include males. Once these laws/legal definitions are rewritten and on the books, no telling how long it will take to right them; it could be decades. And in the meantime, judges will rule against women and girls, feeling they must in order to "follow the law."
Agree with you 💯 that what is happening/can happen in legislation is the stuff of nightmares. This is why the down ballot races are so important, as that is where the rubber hits the road on lawmaking. In NY, we have the added nightmare of an amendment that will enshrine gender identity in the State Constitution. Should that pass, and the odds are great that it will, we will never get rid of it.
Democrats are the fascists and communists, the ones who have already destroyed democracy. By enshrining "gender identity" in law they have, by stealth, unconstitutionally established a state religion that is in fact as we all know an anti-reality, terroristic, homophobic, misogynistic cult. In doing this, they have ended our constitutional rights to free speech and equal treatment under the law. They control the mainstream media. It's obvious who the fascists / authoritarians are. It's not the Republicans, whose promise is to un-do the Democrats' anti-constitutional acts.
Harris and Walz both have made statements against free speech. Walz talks about stopping "misinformation" which is an anti-free speech indication. Harris has stated that free speech is a "privilege." These people are "communists" or whatever word you choose. They are anti-America, anti-democracy, and all they do is lie and accuse Republicans of the exact crimes they themselves are committing.
Of all the candidates on the bluer side, I think she is the mostly likely to see come common sense. I don't love the current tropes and messaging around her but having been through several decades of American presidencies, I don't know why we have such high expectations of our candidates. They all have major blindspots and shortcomings.
I have to respectfully disagree. The reason the trans issue is in the state it’s in now is due to the systematic takeover of public institutions and narrative, and the shutdown of any dissenting opinions through social media censorship, loss of jobs, and cancellation. The Democrats and their financial supporters have proven themselves more than willing to restrict free speech. And whoever controls speech controls the outcomes - it’s human nature that if you’re subjected to nonstop propaganda you’ll eventually come to believe it, especially if you’re young. I’m not a fan of Trump but the progressive authoritarian tactics I’ve seen over the past four years have convinced me the left is a far bigger danger. I never thought I’d live in a country where the ruling party tries to eliminate their political opponents using the justice system, or uses government agencies to harass those who disagree with them.
Everyone was saying the same thing about Trump in 2016. Democracy didn’t die under his presidency. It’s just a scare tactic and I don’t buy it. I’m not a fan of his but the Dems scare have proven they are not trustworthy in their actions or inactions. I’m voting RFK since he’ll still be on my ballot in my state. But I can’t see myself voting blue for a very long time.
I feel like the left constantly talking about how Trump is a threat to democracy is a little like the person who’s constantly accusing their spouse of being unfaithful when the accuser is actually the one cheating. Whatever you do, you tend to assume others are doing too.
I actually voted 3rd party in the last two elections because I couldn’t bring myself to vote for either candidate. I never thought I would vote for Trump, but now I find myself viewing him as the only defense against the authoritarianism I’ve seen over the last four years and wondering how much my previous opinion of him was influenced by the media propaganda that I’ve now become more aware of.
My concern about a Trump presidency: it will be the thing that rushes fence-sitting young adults into medicalizing because they believe Trump will take away their "gender affirming care." The detransitioner Grace has admitted this is why she rushed into top surgery right after trump was elected. It will be the catalyst for teens and young adults to confront their parents and demand their full allegiance and support or else go no contact (see Lynn Chadwick's recent interview on Gender: A Wider Lens). It will be what puts a panic into affirming parents to get their children on blockers and hormones before they believe Trump can stop them, like what we see from parents moving for medicalization after their state bans medicalizing minors. A Trump presidency will make people with quiet doubts or fence sitters decide they must take up this cause too so they are not on "Trump's side." I don't like Harris. I really don't like Walz. But if they are in the White House, they may give lip service to supporting these issues, but it gives hospitals, doctors, therapists, and professional orgs the space to "quiet quit" this insanity and quietly start backtracking. Imagine what will happen to the president of the American Academy of Plastic Surgeons - the only person leading a major medical org to break away from all the other orgs and speak out with truth and courage - if Trump wins, he will be seen as a danger and a threat for being aligned with Trump and he will be forced out, just like in 2016 and 2020 when people didn't say the "right words" and have the "right opinions."
It's a terrible choice to have to make, but on this issue, I think pragmatically the thing most likely to take the heat down and allow both professionals and young people to back down while saving face is a Harris win.
That’s an interesting view, but I don’t see it that way. The thing that’s allowed gender ideology to flourish is the propaganda and limits on free speech that make sure the only point of view most people ever see is trans activist narrative. The Democrats have pushed technology companies to censor social media, and their supporters basically control mainstream media, publishing, and entertainment, along with many corporations that employ a large percentage of Americans. It’s human nature to believe something when it’s all we ever see and we are led to believe that everyone around us believes it too. Both Harris and Walz have made statements indicating that they support further limiting “misinformation” and “hate speech”. In other words, no one will be allowed to tell the truth about gender. Without free speech there is no way for the tide to turn. And the left will always vilify anyone who disagrees with them on this topic (or any other topic, really). It’s not just Trump. The next Republican will be just as “extreme”, “right wing”, “authoritarian”, and “evil” as Trump so that no one will want to admit they agree with home or her on anything.
I agree. Also, if we look at a very "red" state like Texas, gender care is still alive and well. Why is that? I can't forget how many parents are glad to "trans away the gay" of their children. "Transition" treatments and surgeries are staying put for a long time, even if the Republicans win the WH again.
I’m not voting for her. She’s either drunk or high and I can’t stand her smirk or her lies about her race. I no longer identify as a Democrat. If Dems can change from a man into a woman, I can change into a Republican.
It is high profile because trans people who medicalize are such a small part of the population. So it is easy to have an opinion, easy to take a stance, and much harder to get informed. Especially as there is a concerted attempt at providing misinformation under the guise of preventing misinformation....by doctors....well...everyone here knows this....
I think you are right on the money with your opening question—and also with how hard it is to become informed—or even to know to become informed. In a handful of one on one conversations, I have made a tiny bit of headway on this, and it is always stunning to see jaws drop when they grasp that the things I describe are real. My friends who are left of center are totally unaware that they, too, live in a closed news ecosystem that is not telling them the truth.
I'm sorry, this does NOT affect a 'very very small percentage of the population'. This affects HALF the population (women) and children as well. The disastrous consequences of continuing a too-woke presidency (which the Biden presidency has been) are simply a few years farther down than a Trump presidency. We are *sterilizing children*. The detransition movement is growing...and suing. The Harrises of the world support allowing men to destroy women's sports by allowing men to compete with women. They're allowing *convicted criminals into female prisons* on both sides of the border, for fuck's sakes!!! How much more misogynist does it get than that??? And now women have to shunt aside their concerns about personal safety because cross-drossing men want to be 'validated' and 'included' in female-only spaces because idiot woke feminists can't accept that men don't magically turn into women beyond their own personal say-so? This is a *war on women* just like the right's war on women. That's why I don't give a fuck who wins. Women and children lose either way. I'm glad I live in Canada now.
Lisa, please know that just this week your name was on my lips! I was having an initial conversation with two other kindred spirits, and I was sharing some of my go-to resources, and I told them I really like lifting up Lisa Selin Davis and DIAG to illustrate my message that it’s not just people on the right who are skeptical of gender dogma. And I’ve sent your thoughtful essays to others (like “Youth Gender Medicine Is Politically Nonbinary” — https://www.broadview.news/p/youth-gender-medicine-is-politically? — and “Gender Peace Talks #1” — https://open.substack.com/pub/lisaselindavis/p/gender-peace-talks-1)
So. I’m taking this opportunity to say thank you SO much for the work you’ve already put out into the world. Please know it continues to make change out there.
Oh, my gosh. How often does this happen? I am often citing Lisa as a perfect example of how being concerned about this issue does not make you Matt Walsh.
This points out the trouble with the substack model...one person can't produce content 24/7 without running dry. Take a break and come back refreshed. We'll still be here.
I, for one, appreciate the fact that you don't abandon the Dems. This is not the time to give up on liberal democracy. Take stock of the larger picture. If Trump wins it will mean the end of any efforts to deal with climate change.
Lisa, your work has been and continues to be important, and your courage and persistence beyond admirable. I do so much less than you, and nonetheless have so many clenched-jaw days and sleepless nights, both when it comes to doing my best to maintain valuable personal friendships and when it comes to the political environment I, as a lifelong Democrat, find myself in right now. It can be very lonely, as well as having a feeling of constant dislocation.
You and people here and on a couple other Substack sites have been a lifeline for me, and I am forever grateful for that. I appreciate, too, that you have made room here for the ability to state differences of viewpoint. We cannot find ways to come together and solve problems without listening to and at least trying to understand different points of view. We don’t have to agree, but it is immensely important to keep the lines of communication open.
Take the time you need, do what you most need to do, and above all, take good care of yourself. And if you ever convene a little coffee gathering somewhere in NYC, I would love to meet you and others here who are in the area. That would be fun!💕
I’m finding it difficult to remain open minded about this gender stuff. To me it’s a mass delusion that we may or may not overcome.
I can’t believe I’m an undecided voter after a lifetime of voting for Democrats. I used to think undecided voters were fools, so I guess I’m a fool now.
So, it’s no wonder we’re feeling burnt out, confused, and whiplashed.
Don't let people get you down. We may not agree on all things--pronouns come to mind. But hey, we are free to use the language we choose. As a journalist, you have constraints to get published.
I am currently fuming mad at the morning newsletter from NYT. It is written by Lisa Miller.
She writes of the trend in breast reductions as a cosmetic surgery.
Not one mention of double mastectomies in teen girls & young women--that are covered by insurance.
I watched some of the Genspect presentation yesterday on "What is going on with Democrats?"
Well, I don't see this ship changing course anytime soon.
As for the election, I cannot in good conscience vote for Harris or Trump.
Okay, that's all for my morning bitch session. No doubt, I will bitch all day long.
I hear you. I'm so tired. I have been fighting for so long. My beautiful brilliant daughter just turned 17. She has identified as trans since she was bullied in 6th grade for being the first girl to hit puberty and she saw a school play that told her that if she felt uncomfortable in her body, she was probably trans. She soon got herself referred to my city's flagship pediatric gender clinic. It was only bc I asked a lot of questions and wrote a lot of letters (luckily I am a lawyer so this came easily) that I got us kicked out of the clinic bc they were concerned I would cause the clinic "reputational damage." I affirm my daughter and love her, but she cannot tolerate any reasonable discussion about her trans-ness (which I believe is actually cover for being a lesbian) and she is edging ever closer to the time when she can mutilate her body of her own accord. She has a friend who cut off her breasts and has been on T for years and my daughter can't see the kid is a mess: she tried to kill herself and dropped out of school. I despair that my daughter will understand how indoctrinated she is before it's too late. Sending love and support to all who are facing this.
I just love the work you do and your perspective. As a subscriber, I assume you have a life and don't expect any particular amount of content (though I know you have set expectations for your readers). I will still subscribe come what may. Your work is invaluable and you are a really great human being. So, at least for this subscriber, don't worry!
This week I increased my dose of Wellbutrin and the middle age brain fog, intense depression, and feeling of overwhelm that I have had for at least 2 years has lifted. Its a new life. Not a lover of pharma, of course, but I am grateful for the relief. Daily life and work seems easier. Like you Lisa, I am an intense thinker and "carer" of things which can be an achilles heel.
Lately I am trying to separate my feelings about the whole trans craziness with what is going on with my daughter and maybe some of the young people like her especially those with true mental health disorders. Its a little bit of "brightsiding" but also I am tired of fighting something I have no control over. Culturally, I am starting to see the recent removal of her breasts as part of the latest in extreme body modification and indicative of the brave new world we are heading into (a Blade Runner/Matrix/Total Recall dystopia) and trying to accept this inevitability. Even if transgender medicine is rolled back a little, I think the horse has left the barn for adult extreme body modification. My daughter hasn't simply succumbed to the trans ideology, but she is also trapped in a mental health disorder and if it wasn't this, it would be something else. And while I wish she wasn't harming her future fertility, motherhood, or sexual function, I am a accepting of the fact that it would probably not be a good idea for her to be a mother. I am also deeply open to the possibility that this could be an avenue for a psychological shift that brings her greater self knowledge and maturity. Or, maybe her life will continue being all over the place for awhile. The trans ness is just on for the ride.
I agree about the body modification trend (I guess we should have seen it coming with the spike in tatoos?) More and more, the language is switching to 'embodiment goals' and people won't even pretend to have an illness to fix... just demand layers of plastic surgery
I hear you on the overwhelm. It's a crazy world to spend so much time in, especially in the US. Hope you can take a little time out to rest and recover. Excited to read your book (when it comes!).
In the Genspect webinar yesterday about the Democratic party-- https://streamyard.com/watch/XmzbTMAFUvsU -- they pointed out that if you call your representatives about a bill, all they do is tally oppose or support, so it takes only a few moments. And that it counts. Even in blue states. Maybe especially.
Most people don't call, so it has an effect, more than those click to agree petitions.
Of course it’s torture, isn’t that why so many of us are stuck in a kind of social isolation. I have so much anger I don’t trust myself to speak. Then I berate myself for not speaking. Forever grateful to those that do. On my way to write though. On the ballot in my state is approval for a massive library bond. There is no way that gets my vote based on what I have seen purchased and declined. Will write to both parties on the sexually explicit nature of children’s books, teacher education courses pushing trans ideology & see who responds & who buries their head in the sand & hides from taking on this issue. Who REALLY cares about our kids
Lisa, you have been such a voice of reason! It has been so good to read the work of someone else who cares about facts and science and people, and who doesn’t follow the popular narratives. A light in the darkness. FWIW , I found Tomboy incredibly helpful when I read it. It is a description of how our culture has seen female gender non-conformity in different ways over time. To me it seems that remembering that different cultures deal with gender non-conformity in different ways is key to thinking critically about medicalizing, gender non-conformity. Your book lays some important groundwork, and I think it is stronger for not taking on the issue of transition in a big way.
Looking forward to your new book! it must be a huge project, and I hope you’re able to take care of yourself as you complete it. Be well!
I am so thankful for your work and thankful that you have continued to reject extremism in all forms. Thank you for respecting people's pronouns even though you have received so much push back- it is an area where some basic human kindness and respect goes a long way. Bridges, not walls.
Thank you for striving to cover this difficult topic with accuracy as well as with grace and empathy. And thank you for recognizing and respecting your own needs and limitations. I hope you will be able to carve out enough self care time and wish you continued success regardless of what path you take.
Please don't use the word "b*tch. It's too often used by, mostly men, to dehumanized women by calling them subhuman dogs. Many women have fought to have the use of that word censured, including Darlene Mealy of NYC City Council and Takiyah White of Boston, which would put the B word into the same category as the N word. Even the NY Kennel club has stopped using the b word because of its hateful connotations. See articles forwarded to your substack.
I know you had no malicious intent using that word, but it's a favored word of the drag/trans culture to label femaleness. Please discourage your friends from using the word.
Hiya, LSD! (I only just realized your initials are also a well-known hallucinogen! ) I so appreciated your last report from that collective exercise in mutual brainwashing at the "Trans Wellness" conference you attended. The scoop on "Adultism" was useful. What you observed reminded me of this quote another blogger called to my attention the other day. "There is nothing so imperious as feebleness which feels itself supported by force." - Napoleon Bonaparte Here's hoping these emotionally and intellectually feeble people lose their hold on institutional power sooner than later . . . listening to them speak to each other sure does make their "imperious" attitudes obvious. I hope you find a good location from which you can write, write, write . . . and write. Hey everybody! Does someone here have an empty cottage or something where this woman can focus on finishing the book we're all waiting to read, get lost in her writing, enter that fantastic state of flow . . . ?
Lisa, I really can't overstate how grateful I am for you and your work. I continue to be an anon on Twitter (where I pretty much reflexively like anything you post) and Substack, and your courage to stand up and report is something I so deeply admire. So, so deeply. Beyond that, though, I want to also make sure to note that your apprehensions around being 100% aligned with the transcritical world is something I see as having its own grace. I happen to have gotten to a place of being bothered by calling natal males "she" in any context, for instance, but I also deeply respect that you are being thoughtful about your own path intellectually and morally on this topic.
If I could snap my fingers, yes, we would do away with the authoritarianism of this movement (something I am so grateful to Eva Kurilova for writing about) and shift the topic back to a place of personal liberty, where anyone can do as they please within the bounds of the Constitution (at least in the US) and without imposing an alternate, evidently falsifiable reality on us non-believers. But I can't snap my fingers and make that happen, and as much as I can hope you or anyone would stop calling a man a woman in any context, I can't and must not try to compel you to do so. It's incumbent upon me and others like me to do a better job articulating a case for it.
And either way, in a world where people are unhealthily obsessed with politics and elections, I remain much more focused on our need to build a climate of free thought, where people are unafraid to engage on any topic, even the most heinous, free of the intellectual fear of what it means to question things, cherishing the grounding of the law as the real buffer from bad things and not social policing around what we talk, read, and think about.
Thank you, Lisa. And I can't wait to read your book. I know it is going to be brilliant.
I've always enjoyed reading your posts. Probably because you comme across with a little more compassion than alot of people about this subject. I too have an ideologically captured daughter, now 25. We try to talk about trans issues but I have to be more carefully not to let my 'real' thought come out, but I really try to expose my holiday that there many points of views. We don't have to all agree. It's my way of listening but keeping the right to my own opinion. Lisa, take the time you need, I'll be looking out for your book.
I don't do 1/100 th of what you do and I am exhausted. Exhausted from lies, hate, worry, fear. I hate that I became a person who suspects innocent tall masculine women and short men on the street of being "trans". Embarrassed that when my naive, ideologically captured daughter tells me "Mom I met this girl at work", my first thought is "is she a real girl" . That I became a kind of person who smiles at her coworkers and thinks "I wonder where you stand on transgender issue". Embarrassed of hate from both sides, right and left. Embarrassed that I cannot in good faith vote in this elections but that I will be secretly relieved if Harris loses although it would mean that Trump wins. Exhausted , scared, and embarrassed.
"Exhausted, scared and embarrassed" sounds like a good title on a personal ad for politically homeless friendships! Me too.
I could have written this.... all the things. Constantly trying to detect if people are the real sex they appear to be, wondering if they had been on puberty blockers, on and on and on. It is maddening. I want to move back into not caring, but it is too important not to care. Being able to accurately detect a person's sex is at the essence of the human experience. I don't want children to grow up confused about it's importance, nor do I want to see people willingly harming themselves because they think it will make them happy. And then there is the election.... ugh.
Please know that there are very many of us on the Liberal Left who haven't fallen into the hell-hole of Trans ideology. In particular, the vast numbers of lesbians and gay men who have been witnessing the erasure of our history, culture and identities by the dangerous trend of re-affirming gender stereotypes. We are fighting back. But it's going to take time.
If this election was just about Trans issues, maybe I wouldn't vote, either. But it's about so much more than that. The only, only chance we have of regaining balance in the national conversation about gender issues and the safety of our children is if Harris wins. Because then at least competent people will be running the government, as opposed to dangerous idealogues who believe we shouldn't have any personal freedoms at all other than to deny medical reality and own a gun.
Thanks for your reply, Kim. See, I came to view Harris and Walz as dangerous idealogues, and not just on gender issue. I don't think they are competent. I don't even think they are compassionate - I think they are opportunists. If you want one example of a non-gender related issue, read this article on identity based law that Walz passed. https://freeblackthought.substack.com/p/equity-vs-equal-protection-the-walz. The law shows no compassion for anyone - children or adults, minority or not. It is purely ideologically driven and will cause harm. And to be honest, even if I only disagreed with them on the gender issue, I still wouldn't vote for them, since it shows lack of critical thinking, lack of honesty, and of integrity. And yeah, it is deeply personal.
Good comment (among many here)! I wondered what you meant in the last paragraph about if Harris wins -- that Trump and his associates would be more dangerous ideologues than Harris and hers? I agree with you, as I think if Trump wins, national conversations could be over, abortion could become illegal nationally, gun control debate would be quashed, public lands and natural areas would be sold off to the highest bidder, etc., though I think many Democrats in power are dangerous ideologues about gender. But I can't not vote, only agitate my reps to do the right thing and stop being shills for the trans medical industrial complex. Time will tell, let's hope time will be kinder than it seems to be so far... (10 steps forward, 8 backward?)
So much of the mess we're in on the Left is from an over-abundance of compassion. The desire to accept everyone. Even the militant cancel culture started out as compassion, only a very focused compassion run amok. I believe that this round of extremism is close to running its course. The fever is beginning to break. Most of the defund the police movements and full-on legalization of all drugs being course corrected. The NIMBYism that has contributed to our sky-high housing costs is shifting to YIMBYism. And it's all because we are paying attention to the facts on the ground.
This is the difference between the Left and the Right, right now. The GOP (NOT all Republicans, the gerrymander-skewed version of the GOP currently in power) are not driven by compassion, they are driven by fear. It's a very useful political tool. Gets people into their reptile brains, so they quit thinking. The Right's narrative around gender diversity is that it is inherently bad.
We've spent the last 100 years breaking out of gender stereotypes, with increasing levels of freedom. Personally, I think this is great. But in the last 20 years or so, science and social media have allowed us to rush into a mass experiment without any safety net. What we need is more education, so all of those compassionate people will start to realize it is not even close to as simple a situation as they seem to believe.
I find Harris embarrassing. Voting for her will physically hurt. But the Left won't accept a course correction from the Right. It will be all RESIST and riots for 4 painful years. Change will have to come incrementally from within. Also who are these gays and lesbians that see trans issues clearly. I wish I knew some of them. I feel alone.
A few more: 1) Martina Navratilova and WomensSportsPolicy.org; 2) The Lesbian Project and Podcast (Julie Bindel and Kathleen Stock)
Here's are a couple:
https://lgbausa.org/
https://lgballiance.org.uk/
Here's a Democratic group:
https://www.di-ag.org/
I get you, I catch myself doing all the things you say. I'm trying to show more understanding...
No one is "trans"...
I added quotation marks around 'trans'.
The accurate way to describe the problem you're trying to describe is to say that your ability to discern sex has been undermined by this cult. Are you familiar with Amy Sousa? She's written / talked a lot about how perceiving (I would say discerning) a person's sex is an innate, deeply evolved and important instinct, which trans terrorism (my term) undermines, leaving us with no ground under our feet.
1000% this
I'm gonna vote Libertarian. Oliver Chase is the least woke candidate on my ballot (which I have now, as an ex-pat). His trans stance isn't perfect either, but the only party who gets it right is the Republicans, and I can't in good conscience vote for THAT moron.
DITTO! 100%
I hear you on trying to make sure you don't trade one echo chamber for another. I regularly read what is being said by parents on this reddit page https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/ to see if I can understand them better. (I don't) Lisa don't be hard on yourself. I will keep subscribing even if you don't publish sometimes.
Thank you for sharing this! Helpful. I talked to someone the other day who had socially transitioned her son, and corrected herself and said she didn't have a son anymore. And I was able to refrain from spewing facts at her and ask some questions—If I can just slip into professional mode I'm able to be curious. Interpersonally, it's kind of torture.
Like Muffin Mama, I see my subscription at this point primarily as supporting your work on the book. If that means publishing here is lighter for a while, so be it. It’s for the best of all possible causes.
I tried reading that reddit for the same reason... Then I saw a post from a parent looking for compression leggings for her (sorry, I assume it's a mom) 11 y.o. son and just felt physically sick. Echo chambers or not, what could this parent be possibly thinking?
Compression leggings, the leg version of a binder? What could these parents be thinking, if they are thinking!? What happened to everyone's common sense? I think it's been scared out of them.
did you see this one? "Hi! My niece (18yo ASD) is going to start hormones soon (m-f) and I’m wondering how I can support her during this time?"
Agreed on all of this.
Oof. I took a look at that subreddit. I got three posts in to "Gender Fluid Toddler" and had to put a cool cloth on my forehead.
I have a new piece in NY Sun this week:
New Evidence Challenges Institutionalized Belief That Transgender Teens Become Transgender Adults, Undermining Core Defense of Medical Gender Transitions for Minors
https://www.nysun.com/article/new-evidence-challenges-institutionalized-belief-that-transgender-teens-become-transgender-adults-undermining-core-defense-of-medical-gender-transitions-for-minors?member_gift=CUZ5qwd3crq4pmz-xrd
And a couple of new Substacks:
Association of Health Care Journalists Makes Extensive Changes to Faulty Primer On Transgender Medicine Reporting, But Flaws Remain
https://benryan.substack.com/p/association-of-health-care-journalists
Controversial Gender Researchers Launch Long-Term Study of Gender Dysphoric Youth and Their Parents
https://benryan.substack.com/p/controversial-gender-researchers
Ben, your reporting is helping so much!
Your articles are comprehensive and thorough. I'm sure this is helpful to untold numbers of parents. Have you ever considered reporting on trans widows? The new documentary from Indian auteur, Vaishnavi Sundar explores the effects of a husband/father's sudden self ID as "female" on the family. The mental health profession will apparently not admit the strain on the wives and children. I collect the only data in the world on women who got out of this suddenly untenable marriage at my channel on YouTube, Trans Widow Ute Heggen.
Link to Behind the Looking Glass at Lime Soda Films channel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frffv2sB8zE
I watched this documentary, heartbreaking stories. Such strength in telling stories. Hope more people find it on YouTube who need to hear these accounts.
Ullr, thanks. There are so many untold stories, gaslit children and young adults realizing too late the harm done in the treatments. I collect the sole data in the world on trans widows and so far with 60 profiles, more than 1/3 of us were sexually assaulted and between 1/3 and half were physically assaulted by husband before she got out. It is a cult, a dangerous one.
Lisa I am a mom of a 22 yer old daughter in this cult and I love what you write. How you inform and challenging my thinking. I agree, there is SO much information out there on the how and why we got here as well as the current events of which there seem to be new developments, research and people waking up to this scandal daily. I need to find a way to consolidate my research and stay informed but don’t yet know how to limit my consulting of information. Keep up the good fight in any way you need to. Every little bit is so valuable to us. My view of the world in which I live has been permanently fractured —cracked open to reveal a poison inside disguised as kindness. I am desperate to one day have more people wake up and shout ‘enough’! We parents feel so incredibly alone in this.
Whatever a Harris presidency would or wouldn’t do regarding trans issues, it would affect only a very, very small percentage of the population. A Trump presidency, by contrast, would have disastrous consequences for the entire country and its future. Please don’t vote against Harris based on this one issue. If it helps, she’s not as gung ho on medicalization as she once was.
This is just my thinking and approach, with no wish to impose it on anyone else: I don't have any confidence in the Democrats on GC issues, including Harris and Walz, and I think it is going to take decades of hard work and advocacy to clean this up. That said, I will be voting for Harris and Walz precisely because I have assessed, as you have, that on the balance of harms to our country and the world, the alternative is far worse. I would add that I see DJT and Vance as entirely transaction, with only their own interests in mind, so they cannot be relied on to fulfill anything they promise.
Re down ballot, where I live, there aren't viable alternative candidates, so I'm not left with much of an option there but to vote blank ballot or a write-in, and I will definitely do that in some instances. Also, I am in NYC, and I will DEFINITELY vote against Prop 1. I will also continue to speak and write to my D electeds and candidates to convey my concerns and propose alternatives and to look for concerted ways to do that.
I do feel a lot of despair about these times, but one must live in hope.
Yes to voting against Prop 1. That is what will get me to the polls. I understand the analysis and voting for Harris/Walz "on balance." I just can't do it, given what this means for my own child and my own family. But I won't vote for Trump either. In NYC, it really doesn't matter much what I do, so I'm not so concerned about it - but Prop 1 - that's a different story.
I still have hope that things will turn around, once the Dems realize this could be a losing issue for them, and once the greater population realizes what's been happening right under their noses to harm their children or their neighbors' children and to undermine women's rights and human rights.
I feel similarly, coming from a "blue" state, so no matter how I vote, the state will go Democratic. Of course I would never vote for Trump/Vance, that would make no sense to me. They are scary narcissists, never to be trusted, imo. So I could decide not to vote... but if this country ever does away with the electoral college, we would all need to vote, because then actual vote count would matter (i.e. based on popular vote, Hilary would have won and history would have taken a non-Trumpian turn -- what could that have been like, I wonder)
Ditto
I hear you loud and clear, and appreciate so much that you have weighed in. Above all, I am so with you on defeating Prop 1. That, to me, too, is the big enchilada in New York. It is horrifying to see how few people know what is at stake here.
@sallyharrellga, Senator Sally Harrell: I notice you have liked what I wrote and am wondering what caught your eye. Most particularly, have you read the Final Report of the Cass Review, and if so, has it affected your view on the subject of medical interventions for children who are confused or distressed about their sex? (Of course, if you haven’t read it, I do highly comment it to you, a link is here: https://cass.independent-review.uk/home/publications/final-report/)
Thanks for mentioning prop 1. Trying to stay happy, I go through periods of ignoring political news, so have to admit I didn't even know about it yet.
I will not vote for anyone who won't stand up for the rights of half this country (women) or children. I haven't returned my mail-in ballot yet but I'm still vacillating between voting for the Libertarian candidate (the least objectionable and hardly perfect candidate) and just writing "None of the above" and send it back.
Yes, I may register a non-voting ballot as a protest against our shitty political wannabes.
Re voting v. not voting, my own thought, for what it’s worth, is it’s better to protest vote (via blank ballot, for example) rather than not vote, and make sure to let the candidates know why, as it otherwise might not be visible.
51% of the population is not a small number. If women's boundaries and the category of woman itself are eroded, it affects everyone.
Thank you. Exactly the gist of the comment I was about to add. As a Dem, I can't vote for Dems because they are rewriting laws and the legal definition of "woman" to include males. Once these laws/legal definitions are rewritten and on the books, no telling how long it will take to right them; it could be decades. And in the meantime, judges will rule against women and girls, feeling they must in order to "follow the law."
Agree with you 💯 that what is happening/can happen in legislation is the stuff of nightmares. This is why the down ballot races are so important, as that is where the rubber hits the road on lawmaking. In NY, we have the added nightmare of an amendment that will enshrine gender identity in the State Constitution. Should that pass, and the odds are great that it will, we will never get rid of it.
Ugh. Good point.
Democrats are the fascists and communists, the ones who have already destroyed democracy. By enshrining "gender identity" in law they have, by stealth, unconstitutionally established a state religion that is in fact as we all know an anti-reality, terroristic, homophobic, misogynistic cult. In doing this, they have ended our constitutional rights to free speech and equal treatment under the law. They control the mainstream media. It's obvious who the fascists / authoritarians are. It's not the Republicans, whose promise is to un-do the Democrats' anti-constitutional acts.
Harris and Walz both have made statements against free speech. Walz talks about stopping "misinformation" which is an anti-free speech indication. Harris has stated that free speech is a "privilege." These people are "communists" or whatever word you choose. They are anti-America, anti-democracy, and all they do is lie and accuse Republicans of the exact crimes they themselves are committing.
Of all the candidates on the bluer side, I think she is the mostly likely to see come common sense. I don't love the current tropes and messaging around her but having been through several decades of American presidencies, I don't know why we have such high expectations of our candidates. They all have major blindspots and shortcomings.
I have to respectfully disagree. The reason the trans issue is in the state it’s in now is due to the systematic takeover of public institutions and narrative, and the shutdown of any dissenting opinions through social media censorship, loss of jobs, and cancellation. The Democrats and their financial supporters have proven themselves more than willing to restrict free speech. And whoever controls speech controls the outcomes - it’s human nature that if you’re subjected to nonstop propaganda you’ll eventually come to believe it, especially if you’re young. I’m not a fan of Trump but the progressive authoritarian tactics I’ve seen over the past four years have convinced me the left is a far bigger danger. I never thought I’d live in a country where the ruling party tries to eliminate their political opponents using the justice system, or uses government agencies to harass those who disagree with them.
Hard agree!
Everyone was saying the same thing about Trump in 2016. Democracy didn’t die under his presidency. It’s just a scare tactic and I don’t buy it. I’m not a fan of his but the Dems scare have proven they are not trustworthy in their actions or inactions. I’m voting RFK since he’ll still be on my ballot in my state. But I can’t see myself voting blue for a very long time.
I feel like the left constantly talking about how Trump is a threat to democracy is a little like the person who’s constantly accusing their spouse of being unfaithful when the accuser is actually the one cheating. Whatever you do, you tend to assume others are doing too.
I actually voted 3rd party in the last two elections because I couldn’t bring myself to vote for either candidate. I never thought I would vote for Trump, but now I find myself viewing him as the only defense against the authoritarianism I’ve seen over the last four years and wondering how much my previous opinion of him was influenced by the media propaganda that I’ve now become more aware of.
My concern about a Trump presidency: it will be the thing that rushes fence-sitting young adults into medicalizing because they believe Trump will take away their "gender affirming care." The detransitioner Grace has admitted this is why she rushed into top surgery right after trump was elected. It will be the catalyst for teens and young adults to confront their parents and demand their full allegiance and support or else go no contact (see Lynn Chadwick's recent interview on Gender: A Wider Lens). It will be what puts a panic into affirming parents to get their children on blockers and hormones before they believe Trump can stop them, like what we see from parents moving for medicalization after their state bans medicalizing minors. A Trump presidency will make people with quiet doubts or fence sitters decide they must take up this cause too so they are not on "Trump's side." I don't like Harris. I really don't like Walz. But if they are in the White House, they may give lip service to supporting these issues, but it gives hospitals, doctors, therapists, and professional orgs the space to "quiet quit" this insanity and quietly start backtracking. Imagine what will happen to the president of the American Academy of Plastic Surgeons - the only person leading a major medical org to break away from all the other orgs and speak out with truth and courage - if Trump wins, he will be seen as a danger and a threat for being aligned with Trump and he will be forced out, just like in 2016 and 2020 when people didn't say the "right words" and have the "right opinions."
It's a terrible choice to have to make, but on this issue, I think pragmatically the thing most likely to take the heat down and allow both professionals and young people to back down while saving face is a Harris win.
That’s an interesting view, but I don’t see it that way. The thing that’s allowed gender ideology to flourish is the propaganda and limits on free speech that make sure the only point of view most people ever see is trans activist narrative. The Democrats have pushed technology companies to censor social media, and their supporters basically control mainstream media, publishing, and entertainment, along with many corporations that employ a large percentage of Americans. It’s human nature to believe something when it’s all we ever see and we are led to believe that everyone around us believes it too. Both Harris and Walz have made statements indicating that they support further limiting “misinformation” and “hate speech”. In other words, no one will be allowed to tell the truth about gender. Without free speech there is no way for the tide to turn. And the left will always vilify anyone who disagrees with them on this topic (or any other topic, really). It’s not just Trump. The next Republican will be just as “extreme”, “right wing”, “authoritarian”, and “evil” as Trump so that no one will want to admit they agree with home or her on anything.
This is a really interesting perspective, which had not occurred to me at all. Thanks so much for setting forth your thoughts.
I agree. Also, if we look at a very "red" state like Texas, gender care is still alive and well. Why is that? I can't forget how many parents are glad to "trans away the gay" of their children. "Transition" treatments and surgeries are staying put for a long time, even if the Republicans win the WH again.
I’m not voting for her. She’s either drunk or high and I can’t stand her smirk or her lies about her race. I no longer identify as a Democrat. If Dems can change from a man into a woman, I can change into a Republican.
Ahahahahahaha brilliant
How do we get this out of politics?
It is high profile because trans people who medicalize are such a small part of the population. So it is easy to have an opinion, easy to take a stance, and much harder to get informed. Especially as there is a concerted attempt at providing misinformation under the guise of preventing misinformation....by doctors....well...everyone here knows this....
I think you are right on the money with your opening question—and also with how hard it is to become informed—or even to know to become informed. In a handful of one on one conversations, I have made a tiny bit of headway on this, and it is always stunning to see jaws drop when they grasp that the things I describe are real. My friends who are left of center are totally unaware that they, too, live in a closed news ecosystem that is not telling them the truth.
Enshrining Genderology and penalties for not adhering to Genderologist dictates and strictures in law affects every person who is not a Genderologist.
I'm sorry, this does NOT affect a 'very very small percentage of the population'. This affects HALF the population (women) and children as well. The disastrous consequences of continuing a too-woke presidency (which the Biden presidency has been) are simply a few years farther down than a Trump presidency. We are *sterilizing children*. The detransition movement is growing...and suing. The Harrises of the world support allowing men to destroy women's sports by allowing men to compete with women. They're allowing *convicted criminals into female prisons* on both sides of the border, for fuck's sakes!!! How much more misogynist does it get than that??? And now women have to shunt aside their concerns about personal safety because cross-drossing men want to be 'validated' and 'included' in female-only spaces because idiot woke feminists can't accept that men don't magically turn into women beyond their own personal say-so? This is a *war on women* just like the right's war on women. That's why I don't give a fuck who wins. Women and children lose either way. I'm glad I live in Canada now.
Probably going to write "none of the above".
Lisa, please know that just this week your name was on my lips! I was having an initial conversation with two other kindred spirits, and I was sharing some of my go-to resources, and I told them I really like lifting up Lisa Selin Davis and DIAG to illustrate my message that it’s not just people on the right who are skeptical of gender dogma. And I’ve sent your thoughtful essays to others (like “Youth Gender Medicine Is Politically Nonbinary” — https://www.broadview.news/p/youth-gender-medicine-is-politically? — and “Gender Peace Talks #1” — https://open.substack.com/pub/lisaselindavis/p/gender-peace-talks-1)
So. I’m taking this opportunity to say thank you SO much for the work you’ve already put out into the world. Please know it continues to make change out there.
Oh, my gosh. How often does this happen? I am often citing Lisa as a perfect example of how being concerned about this issue does not make you Matt Walsh.
This points out the trouble with the substack model...one person can't produce content 24/7 without running dry. Take a break and come back refreshed. We'll still be here.
I, for one, appreciate the fact that you don't abandon the Dems. This is not the time to give up on liberal democracy. Take stock of the larger picture. If Trump wins it will mean the end of any efforts to deal with climate change.
Lisa, your work has been and continues to be important, and your courage and persistence beyond admirable. I do so much less than you, and nonetheless have so many clenched-jaw days and sleepless nights, both when it comes to doing my best to maintain valuable personal friendships and when it comes to the political environment I, as a lifelong Democrat, find myself in right now. It can be very lonely, as well as having a feeling of constant dislocation.
You and people here and on a couple other Substack sites have been a lifeline for me, and I am forever grateful for that. I appreciate, too, that you have made room here for the ability to state differences of viewpoint. We cannot find ways to come together and solve problems without listening to and at least trying to understand different points of view. We don’t have to agree, but it is immensely important to keep the lines of communication open.
Take the time you need, do what you most need to do, and above all, take good care of yourself. And if you ever convene a little coffee gathering somewhere in NYC, I would love to meet you and others here who are in the area. That would be fun!💕
Count me in!!
Me, too
I’m finding it difficult to remain open minded about this gender stuff. To me it’s a mass delusion that we may or may not overcome.
I can’t believe I’m an undecided voter after a lifetime of voting for Democrats. I used to think undecided voters were fools, so I guess I’m a fool now.
So, it’s no wonder we’re feeling burnt out, confused, and whiplashed.
We appreciate you, Lisa!
Don't let people get you down. We may not agree on all things--pronouns come to mind. But hey, we are free to use the language we choose. As a journalist, you have constraints to get published.
I am currently fuming mad at the morning newsletter from NYT. It is written by Lisa Miller.
She writes of the trend in breast reductions as a cosmetic surgery.
Not one mention of double mastectomies in teen girls & young women--that are covered by insurance.
I watched some of the Genspect presentation yesterday on "What is going on with Democrats?"
Well, I don't see this ship changing course anytime soon.
As for the election, I cannot in good conscience vote for Harris or Trump.
Okay, that's all for my morning bitch session. No doubt, I will bitch all day long.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
I hear you. I'm so tired. I have been fighting for so long. My beautiful brilliant daughter just turned 17. She has identified as trans since she was bullied in 6th grade for being the first girl to hit puberty and she saw a school play that told her that if she felt uncomfortable in her body, she was probably trans. She soon got herself referred to my city's flagship pediatric gender clinic. It was only bc I asked a lot of questions and wrote a lot of letters (luckily I am a lawyer so this came easily) that I got us kicked out of the clinic bc they were concerned I would cause the clinic "reputational damage." I affirm my daughter and love her, but she cannot tolerate any reasonable discussion about her trans-ness (which I believe is actually cover for being a lesbian) and she is edging ever closer to the time when she can mutilate her body of her own accord. She has a friend who cut off her breasts and has been on T for years and my daughter can't see the kid is a mess: she tried to kill herself and dropped out of school. I despair that my daughter will understand how indoctrinated she is before it's too late. Sending love and support to all who are facing this.
I just love the work you do and your perspective. As a subscriber, I assume you have a life and don't expect any particular amount of content (though I know you have set expectations for your readers). I will still subscribe come what may. Your work is invaluable and you are a really great human being. So, at least for this subscriber, don't worry!
This week I increased my dose of Wellbutrin and the middle age brain fog, intense depression, and feeling of overwhelm that I have had for at least 2 years has lifted. Its a new life. Not a lover of pharma, of course, but I am grateful for the relief. Daily life and work seems easier. Like you Lisa, I am an intense thinker and "carer" of things which can be an achilles heel.
Speaking of mental health-
Lately I am trying to separate my feelings about the whole trans craziness with what is going on with my daughter and maybe some of the young people like her especially those with true mental health disorders. Its a little bit of "brightsiding" but also I am tired of fighting something I have no control over. Culturally, I am starting to see the recent removal of her breasts as part of the latest in extreme body modification and indicative of the brave new world we are heading into (a Blade Runner/Matrix/Total Recall dystopia) and trying to accept this inevitability. Even if transgender medicine is rolled back a little, I think the horse has left the barn for adult extreme body modification. My daughter hasn't simply succumbed to the trans ideology, but she is also trapped in a mental health disorder and if it wasn't this, it would be something else. And while I wish she wasn't harming her future fertility, motherhood, or sexual function, I am a accepting of the fact that it would probably not be a good idea for her to be a mother. I am also deeply open to the possibility that this could be an avenue for a psychological shift that brings her greater self knowledge and maturity. Or, maybe her life will continue being all over the place for awhile. The trans ness is just on for the ride.
I agree about the body modification trend (I guess we should have seen it coming with the spike in tatoos?) More and more, the language is switching to 'embodiment goals' and people won't even pretend to have an illness to fix... just demand layers of plastic surgery
Yes, I see that clearly with the various aesthetic choices you can make with breast removal.
No need to bitch. I appreciate your integrity and friendship. Going slow sounds like a good idea. That's my usual pace. ❤️
I hear you on the overwhelm. It's a crazy world to spend so much time in, especially in the US. Hope you can take a little time out to rest and recover. Excited to read your book (when it comes!).
In the Genspect webinar yesterday about the Democratic party-- https://streamyard.com/watch/XmzbTMAFUvsU -- they pointed out that if you call your representatives about a bill, all they do is tally oppose or support, so it takes only a few moments. And that it counts. Even in blue states. Maybe especially.
Most people don't call, so it has an effect, more than those click to agree petitions.
Of course it’s torture, isn’t that why so many of us are stuck in a kind of social isolation. I have so much anger I don’t trust myself to speak. Then I berate myself for not speaking. Forever grateful to those that do. On my way to write though. On the ballot in my state is approval for a massive library bond. There is no way that gets my vote based on what I have seen purchased and declined. Will write to both parties on the sexually explicit nature of children’s books, teacher education courses pushing trans ideology & see who responds & who buries their head in the sand & hides from taking on this issue. Who REALLY cares about our kids
Sorry for the rant!!
Lisa, you have been such a voice of reason! It has been so good to read the work of someone else who cares about facts and science and people, and who doesn’t follow the popular narratives. A light in the darkness. FWIW , I found Tomboy incredibly helpful when I read it. It is a description of how our culture has seen female gender non-conformity in different ways over time. To me it seems that remembering that different cultures deal with gender non-conformity in different ways is key to thinking critically about medicalizing, gender non-conformity. Your book lays some important groundwork, and I think it is stronger for not taking on the issue of transition in a big way.
Looking forward to your new book! it must be a huge project, and I hope you’re able to take care of yourself as you complete it. Be well!
I am so thankful for your work and thankful that you have continued to reject extremism in all forms. Thank you for respecting people's pronouns even though you have received so much push back- it is an area where some basic human kindness and respect goes a long way. Bridges, not walls.
Thank you for striving to cover this difficult topic with accuracy as well as with grace and empathy. And thank you for recognizing and respecting your own needs and limitations. I hope you will be able to carve out enough self care time and wish you continued success regardless of what path you take.
Please don't use the word "b*tch. It's too often used by, mostly men, to dehumanized women by calling them subhuman dogs. Many women have fought to have the use of that word censured, including Darlene Mealy of NYC City Council and Takiyah White of Boston, which would put the B word into the same category as the N word. Even the NY Kennel club has stopped using the b word because of its hateful connotations. See articles forwarded to your substack.
I know you had no malicious intent using that word, but it's a favored word of the drag/trans culture to label femaleness. Please discourage your friends from using the word.
https://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/07/nyregion/07bword.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
https://honey.nine.com.au/latest/politician-banning-b-word-free-speech/a2496dc7-33dc-4253-8243-569a2962a4e6
Hiya, LSD! (I only just realized your initials are also a well-known hallucinogen! ) I so appreciated your last report from that collective exercise in mutual brainwashing at the "Trans Wellness" conference you attended. The scoop on "Adultism" was useful. What you observed reminded me of this quote another blogger called to my attention the other day. "There is nothing so imperious as feebleness which feels itself supported by force." - Napoleon Bonaparte Here's hoping these emotionally and intellectually feeble people lose their hold on institutional power sooner than later . . . listening to them speak to each other sure does make their "imperious" attitudes obvious. I hope you find a good location from which you can write, write, write . . . and write. Hey everybody! Does someone here have an empty cottage or something where this woman can focus on finishing the book we're all waiting to read, get lost in her writing, enter that fantastic state of flow . . . ?
Lisa, I really can't overstate how grateful I am for you and your work. I continue to be an anon on Twitter (where I pretty much reflexively like anything you post) and Substack, and your courage to stand up and report is something I so deeply admire. So, so deeply. Beyond that, though, I want to also make sure to note that your apprehensions around being 100% aligned with the transcritical world is something I see as having its own grace. I happen to have gotten to a place of being bothered by calling natal males "she" in any context, for instance, but I also deeply respect that you are being thoughtful about your own path intellectually and morally on this topic.
If I could snap my fingers, yes, we would do away with the authoritarianism of this movement (something I am so grateful to Eva Kurilova for writing about) and shift the topic back to a place of personal liberty, where anyone can do as they please within the bounds of the Constitution (at least in the US) and without imposing an alternate, evidently falsifiable reality on us non-believers. But I can't snap my fingers and make that happen, and as much as I can hope you or anyone would stop calling a man a woman in any context, I can't and must not try to compel you to do so. It's incumbent upon me and others like me to do a better job articulating a case for it.
And either way, in a world where people are unhealthily obsessed with politics and elections, I remain much more focused on our need to build a climate of free thought, where people are unafraid to engage on any topic, even the most heinous, free of the intellectual fear of what it means to question things, cherishing the grounding of the law as the real buffer from bad things and not social policing around what we talk, read, and think about.
Thank you, Lisa. And I can't wait to read your book. I know it is going to be brilliant.
Take care of yourself Lisa. If you need a rest take it. Unfortunately this issue will linger for a while….
I've always enjoyed reading your posts. Probably because you comme across with a little more compassion than alot of people about this subject. I too have an ideologically captured daughter, now 25. We try to talk about trans issues but I have to be more carefully not to let my 'real' thought come out, but I really try to expose my holiday that there many points of views. We don't have to all agree. It's my way of listening but keeping the right to my own opinion. Lisa, take the time you need, I'll be looking out for your book.
Essay k