Dawn of the Democrats?
A new group for the wandering blues
Last night, a group called Democrats for an Informed Approach to Gender officially launched, via an online Twitter Space. In that house, they believe that “sex is binary, non-conformity is a non-problem, & ‘gender-affirming’ medicine is pseudoscience.”
I wasn’t able to attend the whole thing, but most of what I heard was the plaint of Democrats who felt silenced, outraged, and alienated—and yet unable to bring themselves to vote for Trump. We don’t know how many Democrats feel that way, but it’s certainly worth the time of a staffer or pollster somewhere to find out how many people occupy this liminal space, and how to win them back. That is: to reconsider their stance on gender-affirming care.
I waited for a long while in the virtual queue to speak, but never made it to the digital dais. Here’s what I might have said: “We are in desperate need of a group that caters to Dems—both the voters and the politicians. We need information for those with the tiny pit in their stomach—the sense that something is wrong, even as you’re told ‘There’s nothing to see here, look away. Any questioning is bigotry and will lead to a child’s suicide.’ And we need off-ramps for politicians who’ve supported the legislation to increase access to youth gender medicine/adolescent ‘sex’ changes without parental consent, those who’ve blocked detransition care and supported school policies that hide psychological interventions.”
Those may be two distinct groups requiring two distinct methods. Perhaps the voters would be more moved by narratives of those who’ve gotten hurt, of the families investigated by CPS for not “affirming,” the children who’ve been physically and mentally injured. Perhaps politicians would be more moved by data, by understanding that the blue side actually has the science wrong, which is, well, embarrassing, especially when you consider how much political capital they’ve invested in defending it.
All this is to say: This is a difficult and delicate project, and a much-needed one. I hope this will be a classic big-tent Democratic organization that can accommodate a variety liberals and lefties, not just those who agree with one line of thinking about this complex issue.
I admit I worry a little bit about the group’s tone, but perhaps that’s because of the tack I’ve taken myself, in order to fill a hole. If you think you know what I believe about pediatric gender medicine, about the idea of transgender children, well, you probably don’t, because I try to create materials for liberals to share with one another in the hopes that we’ll change some minds. I’m often criticized for this, by people who tell me I’m morally impure for being too trans-friendly, or think I just don’t get it. (And of course, called a transphobe by others. My husband says this means I must be doing something right.)
Believe me, I do get it. I keep thinking that if everyone in my cohort knew what I knew, that they’d likely come to a different conclusion. But maybe I’m wrong? In fact, that’s what I’d like every person involved in this issue to ask on a daily basis: Am I wrong?
In the comments, please share what you’d like to see from an organization like Di-Ag, what you’d like to see from Democrats, how you think we can properly inform politicians and the people in our lives, etc. We’re excited to see this group’s debut and hope they can help us with the Very Important Message that this is not a left/right issue.
I'm going to give an answer that may not go over well, but I feel strongly it's the only way to make progress:
Background: I am a politically homeless former Democrat and progressive. I am surrounded by politically active, very liberal friends, family, and coworkers.
I believe the only way we can get enough Democrats to hear us and support policies that will actually protect children, women, and vulnerable people is to give them a way out where they can completely save face, don't have to admit they were wrong, and can feel like they are still opposing Republicans.
I don't believe there is any carefully worded presentation of the facts that will convince them. There may be a few people who can be reached by hitting the right nerve with the right talking point (sports, prisons, detransitioners, free speech, CPS stories) but I have seen too many Democrats find ways to work around things they will acknowledge are true and problematic and still not make any shift in beliefs because they believe doing so aligns them with cruel Republicans and they are NOT going to side with them on ANYTHING. And now that Trump has started talking about this issue, Democrats will dig in even more and skeptics and fence-sitters will equate changing their mind with supporting Trump. Another unpopular opinion: I think a Biden second term will give questioning Democrats and mainstream media the breathing room to shift their thinking. I fear a second Trump term will cause us to lose ground. (I'm fully open to being wrong on this).
I don't know enough (anything) about this new group or even what Lisa means about concerns over their tone. But I don't think they're going get anywhere with Democrats by doing more of the same that hasn't worked by saying the message is coming from Democrats (who will be dismissed as traitors). We've got to give them the face-saving way out that still lets them claim the moral high ground. Is that unfair and insulting to those of us hurt by this movement? Absolutely. But my feelings don't matter. I care only about stopping this.
I would like to see DIAG embrace/partner with SEGM. (Society for Evidence based Gender Medicine). In my conversations with fellow democrats, people become convinced when I combine my personal story of my teen with the white papers and stats I have collected. People (those 40 and older anyway) have a sense that something is terribly wrong with where gender has gone, but they need information presented in a compassionate way for their formal stance to be altered. SEGM does a good job of this. And people’s positions are definitely changeable- I’ve seen it happen many, many times.