Such a great post, Lisa. We’ve talked so you know my story of growing up in Deep South conservatism and moving to San Francisco - from one bubble to another. It’s not just the internet that led to these bubbles, it’s the way we have structured our society in the U.S., how we’ve built our cities, how our government functions. We’re able to isolate ourselves in our homes and cars and not move our bodies and eat fake food, it’s no wonder we’ve lost our sense of physical reality. I’m so curious to see how our moving to Europe will affect our daughter. Having to live closer to others, share a building with neighbors, take public transit, ride a bike and walk. Better yet, evidence based healthcare!! She will have a constant awareness of how you move about impacts others. And lots of examples of people going about their day from all levels of society. I’m sure it won’t be easy but I’m more then ready for the experiment.
Over the past year, I have had the opportunity to speak to many trans-identified youth, both online and offline, anonymously and without any disguise. (I guess it's a perk of attending college.)
I was scared at first--being a desister--that I would relapse in some way being around them. But I have found that I love talking to these young men and women, laughing with them, debating with them, indulging in their existential crises, and giving them advice. Even though I don't agree with transgenderism, I find it almost therapeutic to be around trans youth. We can relate in a way I don't get with other people. I get to see what my past was like through them, and--hopefully--give them insight on what the future can be.
When I look across the landscape I see kids struggling to make themselves unique, working on their brands, crossing the sea of adolescence alone but accompanied by a film crew. With the advent of the iPhone they no longer have the solace of companionship but instead the ersatz community of their phones. Then you take your Beyonces and Taylor Swifts who have elevated the self to impossible heights. All of it adds up to the child alone in front of a screen desperate to find themselves in a sea of selves, unaware of the struggles of others.
A very thoughtful and well-written article, Lisa. Thank you. For the last 3 years I seem to have metamorphosed from a left-wing worldview to what I’m now perceived to be: a conservative. I haven’t changed my political views or my religion; I’ve just had my eyes opened to the dangers of gender identity ideology, especially where children are concerned. I’m also opposed to EDI, CSJ, & Queer Theory, all of which are driven by people who act like cultists do: believe or be banished, object & be cancelled, accept the lie that humans are perfectable & deal with humanity respectfully.
I work singing and engaging with people who are 30 years older than me and near the end of their lives. My mother's generation. I used to be angry at Christianity. I considered myself a pagan (still essentially do) who finds my connection to spirit mainly in nature. I had lost touch with Christian friends. But some of these elders asked me to sing hymns from their childhood, hymns no longer sung in almost any church, conservative or liberal. They were taken out of the liberal hymnals because they didn't fit the progressive theology (I was told this by a Lutheran pastor). They were taken out of the evangelical churches because they had replaced them for the most part with copywritten "praise music." Hymns I learned were songs like "In the Garden," and "The Old Rugged Cross," as well as others. I have learned just how beautiful these songs are, how they are worth preserving. I have learned how kind and real Christians who walk the talk can be. I have sat with some of these women and held hands with them in prayer. I have seen how good they are. I have made one new Christian friend I met in heterodox land, testifying before our state legislature regarding the state policy of housing men in women's prisons. I have deeply reconnected with my best friend from Junior High, who has been a Christian all these decades. I have not become a Christian, but I have been changed by these encounters, all starting with my beloved elders who asked me to sing these beautiful songs that hold guidance and meaning and inspiration for me too. Getting out of bubbles is truly a path towards peace and love and personal growth.
Bubble tourism- love it. Liberals have always claimed that conservatives being afraid of the foreign was what made them morally inferior, yet our fellow liberals have proven over the past decade that they too are petrified of those who are different.
I believe as many others do that transition for anyone at any age is detrimental to their health, their sexual function, their relationships, and to society. If they seem happy to you, maybe you have not thought about what their lives would have been like if they hadn't gone down this destructive path. I think it's time for people to come out of their bubble and speak the truth instead of sugar coating this negative and regressive ideology leading to wrong sex medicalization. Nuance really has no place in the world of wrong sex confusion because it is filled with lies. Those who have fallen down the rabbit hole deserve compassion not admiration. Our children are watching how adults handle this mess. It's incredibly important to have enough integrity not to lie to them.
It’s important to know that a lot of the “glurge” we deal with isn’t organic. I’ve worked in left NGOs and political consulting for more than a decade. Too much of it comes straight outta NGO messaging. I’ve watched it happen with my own two eyes since 2012. One year’s NGO annual report would feature “smashing the patriarchy,” b/c the funding vehicles focused on abortion legislation. The next would be “trans human rights” as funding switched from abortion/women to gender.
Before that it was BLM. Before that it was healthcare. Before that, mortgage crisis. The trajectory moved from issues of class to issues of identity. That’s not by chance.
If anyone knows how to make contact with a Canadian journalist who would publicize this story nationally, please comment here. Lisa, I'm sorry for doing this on your Substack's comments, but I was hoping someone here could help.
"I’m certain that getting out of the sadness and despair would have helped me. I’m certain that getting kids away from ruminating about their own gender would help many of them."
If the past decade has taught me anything it is the harm that individualism has done to children and to us all. The internet and capitalism work together in isolating the vulnerable self as the unit to be monetized and preyed upon. Kids these days seem unaware that there could be an alternate way of being, a way that puts the self in context with others. It doesn't help that our pop stars seem bent on celebrating their glorious selves to the detriment of community or that our Tik-Tok framing is most suitable for one hectoring voice.
A couple of years ago, at a trendy restaurant in lower Manhattan, I encountered one of those waitrons. I think that's a great word for him/her, because not knowing whether this was a man or a woman made it hard to feel any genuine human connection. Nor could I talk effectively about this person to anyone else; I won't call any known individual 'they' because I find that both dehumanizing and ungrammatical, and s/he hadn't indicated which pronouns s/he 'used'.
Throughout the meal I felt as if I were being served by a robot. It occurs to me now that this is probably what the waitrons want: to create distance between themselves and those bigots and losers who are not in their 'queer' bubble. That's fine, but I hope my next medical encounter isn't with a doctron.
Thoughtful essay, as always from you. Among the most meaningful experiences I had in this regard were working on a statewide union organizing campaign in Iowa, where I lived for many years, spending several years in the southeast working on an ACTWU union campaign to organize textile workers in the south, and more recently doing extensive canvassing for a candidate in a semi-rural district. What is common to each of these experiences is one on one and other face to face conversations with a wide variety of people and all of them occurred outside the great blue city of NYC where I now live. These experiences enriched my life in many ways, including how to engage in active listening while looking for common ground and also how to recognize and disengage where common ground simply isn’t going to be there.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay, Lisa. Your compassionate stance has helped me in my journey toward a more balanced and critical approach to trans issues.
I hope you talk about Jonathan Haidt's new book in a future post. I don't think we would see this level of social contagion without the internet and smart phone childhood. He makes the point that kids are looking for meaning and the real world is where they are supposed to find it. But instead they are on the internet. If we can all realize that everyone is looking for meaning, that might be the first step.
Hopefully this is Ok to share but the free press is doing. series of videos- going out of the bubble. Ben is funny but it is such a reminder that we are all human and more similar than different. He's done a few others and is planning to do more leading up to the 2024 election. His most recent one was in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.
Such a great post, Lisa. We’ve talked so you know my story of growing up in Deep South conservatism and moving to San Francisco - from one bubble to another. It’s not just the internet that led to these bubbles, it’s the way we have structured our society in the U.S., how we’ve built our cities, how our government functions. We’re able to isolate ourselves in our homes and cars and not move our bodies and eat fake food, it’s no wonder we’ve lost our sense of physical reality. I’m so curious to see how our moving to Europe will affect our daughter. Having to live closer to others, share a building with neighbors, take public transit, ride a bike and walk. Better yet, evidence based healthcare!! She will have a constant awareness of how you move about impacts others. And lots of examples of people going about their day from all levels of society. I’m sure it won’t be easy but I’m more then ready for the experiment.
Over the past year, I have had the opportunity to speak to many trans-identified youth, both online and offline, anonymously and without any disguise. (I guess it's a perk of attending college.)
I was scared at first--being a desister--that I would relapse in some way being around them. But I have found that I love talking to these young men and women, laughing with them, debating with them, indulging in their existential crises, and giving them advice. Even though I don't agree with transgenderism, I find it almost therapeutic to be around trans youth. We can relate in a way I don't get with other people. I get to see what my past was like through them, and--hopefully--give them insight on what the future can be.
When I look across the landscape I see kids struggling to make themselves unique, working on their brands, crossing the sea of adolescence alone but accompanied by a film crew. With the advent of the iPhone they no longer have the solace of companionship but instead the ersatz community of their phones. Then you take your Beyonces and Taylor Swifts who have elevated the self to impossible heights. All of it adds up to the child alone in front of a screen desperate to find themselves in a sea of selves, unaware of the struggles of others.
A very thoughtful and well-written article, Lisa. Thank you. For the last 3 years I seem to have metamorphosed from a left-wing worldview to what I’m now perceived to be: a conservative. I haven’t changed my political views or my religion; I’ve just had my eyes opened to the dangers of gender identity ideology, especially where children are concerned. I’m also opposed to EDI, CSJ, & Queer Theory, all of which are driven by people who act like cultists do: believe or be banished, object & be cancelled, accept the lie that humans are perfectable & deal with humanity respectfully.
I love this so much, thank you Lisa!
I work singing and engaging with people who are 30 years older than me and near the end of their lives. My mother's generation. I used to be angry at Christianity. I considered myself a pagan (still essentially do) who finds my connection to spirit mainly in nature. I had lost touch with Christian friends. But some of these elders asked me to sing hymns from their childhood, hymns no longer sung in almost any church, conservative or liberal. They were taken out of the liberal hymnals because they didn't fit the progressive theology (I was told this by a Lutheran pastor). They were taken out of the evangelical churches because they had replaced them for the most part with copywritten "praise music." Hymns I learned were songs like "In the Garden," and "The Old Rugged Cross," as well as others. I have learned just how beautiful these songs are, how they are worth preserving. I have learned how kind and real Christians who walk the talk can be. I have sat with some of these women and held hands with them in prayer. I have seen how good they are. I have made one new Christian friend I met in heterodox land, testifying before our state legislature regarding the state policy of housing men in women's prisons. I have deeply reconnected with my best friend from Junior High, who has been a Christian all these decades. I have not become a Christian, but I have been changed by these encounters, all starting with my beloved elders who asked me to sing these beautiful songs that hold guidance and meaning and inspiration for me too. Getting out of bubbles is truly a path towards peace and love and personal growth.
Bubble tourism- love it. Liberals have always claimed that conservatives being afraid of the foreign was what made them morally inferior, yet our fellow liberals have proven over the past decade that they too are petrified of those who are different.
Hmmm
I believe as many others do that transition for anyone at any age is detrimental to their health, their sexual function, their relationships, and to society. If they seem happy to you, maybe you have not thought about what their lives would have been like if they hadn't gone down this destructive path. I think it's time for people to come out of their bubble and speak the truth instead of sugar coating this negative and regressive ideology leading to wrong sex medicalization. Nuance really has no place in the world of wrong sex confusion because it is filled with lies. Those who have fallen down the rabbit hole deserve compassion not admiration. Our children are watching how adults handle this mess. It's incredibly important to have enough integrity not to lie to them.
It’s important to know that a lot of the “glurge” we deal with isn’t organic. I’ve worked in left NGOs and political consulting for more than a decade. Too much of it comes straight outta NGO messaging. I’ve watched it happen with my own two eyes since 2012. One year’s NGO annual report would feature “smashing the patriarchy,” b/c the funding vehicles focused on abortion legislation. The next would be “trans human rights” as funding switched from abortion/women to gender.
Before that it was BLM. Before that it was healthcare. Before that, mortgage crisis. The trajectory moved from issues of class to issues of identity. That’s not by chance.
Speaking of breaking out of one's bubble (or not) - the Chief Librarian of the Niagara on the Lake public library was fired today basically for subscribing to the FAIR (Foundation Against Intolerance and Racism) principles of intellectual freedom. Here's an article that describes approximately what happened until the point when she was fired: https://www.niagarathisweek.com/news/niagara-on-the-lake-chief-librarian-under-fire-for-column-supporting-controversial-u-s-group/article_b26112ee-9ca5-5514-a053-a3633697fe7c.html
If anyone knows how to make contact with a Canadian journalist who would publicize this story nationally, please comment here. Lisa, I'm sorry for doing this on your Substack's comments, but I was hoping someone here could help.
"I’m certain that getting out of the sadness and despair would have helped me. I’m certain that getting kids away from ruminating about their own gender would help many of them."
If the past decade has taught me anything it is the harm that individualism has done to children and to us all. The internet and capitalism work together in isolating the vulnerable self as the unit to be monetized and preyed upon. Kids these days seem unaware that there could be an alternate way of being, a way that puts the self in context with others. It doesn't help that our pop stars seem bent on celebrating their glorious selves to the detriment of community or that our Tik-Tok framing is most suitable for one hectoring voice.
A couple of years ago, at a trendy restaurant in lower Manhattan, I encountered one of those waitrons. I think that's a great word for him/her, because not knowing whether this was a man or a woman made it hard to feel any genuine human connection. Nor could I talk effectively about this person to anyone else; I won't call any known individual 'they' because I find that both dehumanizing and ungrammatical, and s/he hadn't indicated which pronouns s/he 'used'.
Throughout the meal I felt as if I were being served by a robot. It occurs to me now that this is probably what the waitrons want: to create distance between themselves and those bigots and losers who are not in their 'queer' bubble. That's fine, but I hope my next medical encounter isn't with a doctron.
“It’s about understanding complex issues from multiple perspectives to make a better world.”
well said
Thoughtful essay, as always from you. Among the most meaningful experiences I had in this regard were working on a statewide union organizing campaign in Iowa, where I lived for many years, spending several years in the southeast working on an ACTWU union campaign to organize textile workers in the south, and more recently doing extensive canvassing for a candidate in a semi-rural district. What is common to each of these experiences is one on one and other face to face conversations with a wide variety of people and all of them occurred outside the great blue city of NYC where I now live. These experiences enriched my life in many ways, including how to engage in active listening while looking for common ground and also how to recognize and disengage where common ground simply isn’t going to be there.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay, Lisa. Your compassionate stance has helped me in my journey toward a more balanced and critical approach to trans issues.
I hope you talk about Jonathan Haidt's new book in a future post. I don't think we would see this level of social contagion without the internet and smart phone childhood. He makes the point that kids are looking for meaning and the real world is where they are supposed to find it. But instead they are on the internet. If we can all realize that everyone is looking for meaning, that might be the first step.
Hopefully this is Ok to share but the free press is doing. series of videos- going out of the bubble. Ben is funny but it is such a reminder that we are all human and more similar than different. He's done a few others and is planning to do more leading up to the 2024 election. His most recent one was in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.
https://youtu.be/OPGvdo1YLnc