So grateful you shared this response, and that Lisa has kept this conversation going.
I read your post at a train station, heading home after visiting my mother and her more-or-less husband (I can’t call him ‘boyfriend’ anymore, they’re in their seventies, and they’ve been together like ten years now). She and I attended a memorial this weekend, for an uncle of mine on my deceased father’s side of the family. My uncle had passed away in the winter, and not all of his immediately family members could attend the funeral then, so a separate memorial was held later in the year, when everyone could gather to remember him. This made it a kind of reunion, which that side of the family has always been good about holding--not just for occasions as bittersweet as this one.
So yes, there was a lot of sadness shared this weekend, but a lot of joy, too. Stories about my uncle were told that I’d never heard before. And there was very little conversation about what we will call “politics.” (Except back at my mom’s place, where she occasionally recited cable news talking points while her partner and I quietly rolled our eyes.)
Everybody I talked to at the memorial kept asking about my husband--who has been recovering from surgery for over a year now, and was hard to get to gatherings even *before* he had an excuse not to go, let alone one this legit. How is he doing? When is he coming to one of these things? (Woe to my spouse, I did promise that I would work on it.)
My point: until I read your post, I had nearly forgotten any of this happened, and was about to descend down a rabbithole of doom news, LOL. It's my turn to roll my eyes *at me.*
Thank you so much for this. I know I’m going to return to this post.
Telling the truth out loud is what will get us out of this situation. Blessings to you and your family for living it... not just saying it. Beautiful writing.
This piece hits on one of the true keys to a good life. Don’t let others define you. Live to the beat of your own drummer as long as it does not harm others. Call our hypocrisy , hate, fascism and authoritarianism whenever you (safely) can and smile and wave often as you pass by others, it is amazing how often they will respond in kind. ( I always do this on my daily runs and the response is often amazing, even from passing motorists. )
Thanks, Rose. It came to me just now that it's almost like we need a new kind of gay-straight alliance these days. My son is a lot like yours. I've tried to raise my kids to know that it's all right if they are attracted to people of the same sex or the opposite sex, but that the idea people can change sex is nonsense. Love is love, and that ain't love.
That was a moving, beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing it, Rose. I hope your humble job includes writing because you have a gift for it. Your life does sound good and is surely an inspiration to many. God bless you and your family.
This might be helpful as a way to assess the issue: https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-transyouth-outcomes/ (Scroll to the end to see various studies and associated stats). I do think the press relies heavily on the same few faces, but I suspect the likely reason for that is that it’s really hard as a detransitioner, with all there is to contend with, to also put oneself out continually as a public spokesperson. Cole is one of a very few who seems able to do that on an ongoing basis. Incredible bravery in such a young person.
So grateful you shared this response, and that Lisa has kept this conversation going.
I read your post at a train station, heading home after visiting my mother and her more-or-less husband (I can’t call him ‘boyfriend’ anymore, they’re in their seventies, and they’ve been together like ten years now). She and I attended a memorial this weekend, for an uncle of mine on my deceased father’s side of the family. My uncle had passed away in the winter, and not all of his immediately family members could attend the funeral then, so a separate memorial was held later in the year, when everyone could gather to remember him. This made it a kind of reunion, which that side of the family has always been good about holding--not just for occasions as bittersweet as this one.
So yes, there was a lot of sadness shared this weekend, but a lot of joy, too. Stories about my uncle were told that I’d never heard before. And there was very little conversation about what we will call “politics.” (Except back at my mom’s place, where she occasionally recited cable news talking points while her partner and I quietly rolled our eyes.)
Everybody I talked to at the memorial kept asking about my husband--who has been recovering from surgery for over a year now, and was hard to get to gatherings even *before* he had an excuse not to go, let alone one this legit. How is he doing? When is he coming to one of these things? (Woe to my spouse, I did promise that I would work on it.)
My point: until I read your post, I had nearly forgotten any of this happened, and was about to descend down a rabbithole of doom news, LOL. It's my turn to roll my eyes *at me.*
Thank you so much for this. I know I’m going to return to this post.
Telling the truth out loud is what will get us out of this situation. Blessings to you and your family for living it... not just saying it. Beautiful writing.
This piece hits on one of the true keys to a good life. Don’t let others define you. Live to the beat of your own drummer as long as it does not harm others. Call our hypocrisy , hate, fascism and authoritarianism whenever you (safely) can and smile and wave often as you pass by others, it is amazing how often they will respond in kind. ( I always do this on my daily runs and the response is often amazing, even from passing motorists. )
Thanks, Rose. It came to me just now that it's almost like we need a new kind of gay-straight alliance these days. My son is a lot like yours. I've tried to raise my kids to know that it's all right if they are attracted to people of the same sex or the opposite sex, but that the idea people can change sex is nonsense. Love is love, and that ain't love.
Love this so much!
That was a moving, beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing it, Rose. I hope your humble job includes writing because you have a gift for it. Your life does sound good and is surely an inspiration to many. God bless you and your family.
This might be helpful as a way to assess the issue: https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-transyouth-outcomes/ (Scroll to the end to see various studies and associated stats). I do think the press relies heavily on the same few faces, but I suspect the likely reason for that is that it’s really hard as a detransitioner, with all there is to contend with, to also put oneself out continually as a public spokesperson. Cole is one of a very few who seems able to do that on an ongoing basis. Incredible bravery in such a young person.