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Ute Heggen's avatar

As a retired early childhood teacher, I find the narrative on the Kindergarten play perplexing. From the other context of a very traditional Christian upbringing, I assume the cohort in the school was also very traditional and acting out home roles based on sex. However, in any quality Kindergarten setting, children should be painting, playing with play dough, working on a project at the science table and drawing/writing in purposeful ways, such as making cards to send to grandparents. I often had the Pretend Play area set up as a different setting from home, such as Animal Hospital, Farmers Market and even Space Station. At times, I assigned mixed-sex groups of children to play together so that cliques and "best friend" bonds were not over-emphasized for any of my students. As a teacher I never, ever had "boy toys" or "girl toys" and I generally did not have a lot of baby dolls, as it's impossible to keep them clean and dressed. The entire field of psychology must re-examine how they describe "sexed" behaviors and objects. I see a great deal of detail in this narrative involving outside, external influences on personality. I cannot imagine recommending surgeries because of play preferences remembered from childhood. Many detransitioners discuss a misread of childhood details which therapists used to push them in the "transition" direction. I hope this individual does not ever claim to be mother of children.

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David Stafford's avatar

Here is what struck me about Julia's narrative. She accepted her friend's love because, although her friend still saw her as a male, she loved her right past that exterior definition. Her friend saw Julia's essence which was neither male nor female but just Julia. However, Julia could not extend that sort of courtesy to herself in that it was important that the cover of her book present as female. We live in a world of images and mirrors that lure us into looking at the surfaces of things. Could Julia extend her self-love to a Julia who didn't present as a female? Could she see herself to the essence if that essence was neither female nor male?

Secondly, the idea of safe spaces and hurtful behaviors and just the general sense that we are all weak and wounded creatures seems to benefit the therapeutic community which sets up shop to undercut our resilience instead of giving us the tools to cope. Alternatively, might this idea of weakness come from men who, having relinquished their power by becoming women, misunderstand that being a woman is not about weakness but about strength. See Darwell, Jane at the end of Grapes of Wrath.

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