Yes—all too often I see anger expressed toward those who walk back on ideas such as TWAW. “What took you so long??”
But the fact is that many people believed this is a civil rights issue (because that’s the messaging). It’s not hypocrisy, it’s confusion. Many of us only “peaked” after years of exposure (like me). We know what it’s like to finally have the veil torn from our eyes.
Our anger could be better directed at the central perpetrators than at the moderates slowly walking it back.
Yes but who are the "central perpetrators"? To me it's the activists. Imo we have every right to be angry with the Moderates as they set policy. Obama and Biden made it the law of the land via EO that gender was to be based on identity rather than sex. So in that vain my civil rights were stomped on as a woman. I'm furious with the "Moderates" that lead states like CA and WA that make it impossible for women to have any legal recourse against men who enter our spaces.
I think you are so right Lisa. Yes, we are angry that it took so long, but we must look at the big picture. Others will see what happens to defectors. They will be attacked by their own side, the least we can do is welcome them (with the fruit basket!) and show we are the kindly ones. If we do this we will attract more of the doubters (and there are many).
Helen Joyce has pointed out that defectors are one-way. Almost no-one defects from seeing the truth to peddling the lies, it’s almost always the cult followers who take the step to sanity and truth. If we want that to happen, we have to maybe bite our lips and welcome them into the fold.
Great post, and great edits to Edsall! (My husband and I got into a debate yesterday over what “their claims should be respected” means. I’m guessing you & I had the same question/problem with that wording.)
The underlying problem in recognising that it is unfair for men to play with and against women in sports is that the whole house of cards starts to collapse. Having acknowledged that there's a biological difference between the sexes, it follows that humans can only identify as the opposite sex, they can't literally become the other sex.
Here in the UK, when a conversation is possible, as you cite that with our Secretary of State for Health, James Murray, the house of cards collapses and reality prevails. We are also fortunate that multiple campaign groups of all political persuasions and none have now been working for many years to expose the fallacy of gender ideology. Still a way to go, of course. Ideologues are embedded across multiple institutions and continue to exercise influence over those who would rather keep their heads down and not ask questions.
"Many of us have been counseled or pressured out of our instincts, because the most human instinct of all is to do whatever you need to do to belong." This point is totally valid, and I agree that some softening of the ire is called for by SOME of us toward the prodigal Democrats as they timidly return to reality. We must give them a new space to belong and feel welcomed. I agree about the need for more gift baskets and love--from those of us who have both the temperament and the (relative) lack of deep wounds to do so. I'm one of those, and I do thank these people when I can. But just like everything in this sorry saga, it'll unspool how it does, and people, being human, all play their parts. The PITT parents, who have seen their children deteriorate year after year, the many people whose careers and entire social worlds were destroyed, the young people who have realized they have been harmed irreversibly--they will do what they feel they need to do, including expressing their anger and feelings of betrayal by Democrats. When you finally have their attention after being dismissed, ignored, and vilified for so long, the human instinct is to unload the pent-up feelings. Some of these people who have been harmed the most will be saints who can rise above their anger and hurt for the greater good of shifting the culture of the Democratic party, but we cannot and should not expect that of all of them. In the meantime, I'll get some gift backets together.
I am with you on the PITT parents, as I've said many times. These people who denied reality to keep their jobs—they harmed children. The parents have every right to unload. But others, who want to stop the Trump insanity and try to get Democrats to budge—we can do this work.
Hi Lisa, I have a question related to a previous piece of yours ("Democrats Really Are for They/Them. Who's for Us?"). When you approached the NYC mayoral candidate and shared your concerns about prioritizing subjective gender identity over objective sex, he told you that he's concerned about the comfort and safety of his transgender staffers who go by they/them. When I expressed concern to the principal of my son's elementary school about how the school taught gender identity (as a fact, not a theory), she responded almost exactly the same way: there's so much discrimination out there, she said, and there's no room for that at the school. You wrote that you weren't quite sure how to respond to the man running for mayor and I also wasn't sure how to respond to the principal--of course, I don't want anyone to be discriminated against either. But I'm also not sure that asking kids to share their pronouns, using terms like "male-identified" and "female-identified" instead of boys and girls in kindergarten etc. is the best or only way to prevent discrimination. My question: is there any evidence that teaching gender identity in this way (as a fact, not a theory) in elementary schools prevents discrimination or bullying MORE than simply reminding kids that boys and girls can look and act all kinds of ways? It feels like we won't be able to get anywhere when talking to politicians or principals if we don't have an answer to the I-don't-want-trans-identifying-people-to-be-bullied-or-discriminated-against concern. Thank you in advance for any of your thoughts!
This is an EXCELLENT question. And one I don't have time to go deep on, but I have done a lot of book-related research. My suggestion is to go to GLSEN's reports and look. They've been working in schools for decades, related to anti-bullying, and I don't believe the numbers budged much at all. Some of that is because you don't want to declare that schools are doing great, because then there'd be no need for them to hire your org! I know there's research that many of those race-related workshops worsened race relations. I don't think anyone has done the equivalent with gender, but I, too, would love to know.
Politics is a game of addition, not subtraction. Who cares if it took "too long" for others to see and speak the truth? I'm glad you highlighted Amy Acton's statement. There really was nowhere else for her to go on this, considering how Republican this state has swung in this century. She's still brave to stand up to the nutters on the left, who can stamp their feet and scream all they want but will they vote for Ramaswami? I don't think so.
What we need is more of this: just tell the truth.
I had a moment 5-1/2 years ago in a class when my students and I were discussing sex vs. gender, and how the scholars whose work we were reading were using both of these terms. One student said, "sex is biology, and gender is the cultural interpretation of sex differences," which is the correct answer in my view in my discipline. Another student said, "well actually, sex is a lot more complicated & not just binary," etc. I interrupted and said, "no, in humans sex is in fact binary. We are mammals who reproduce sexually, and we need both the small male and large female gametes to make a baby. However--in our world today, people can identify, dress, and groom themselves however they like, regardless of sex. People can express their gender however they like--but our sexes don't change with cosmetic or medical interventions. (And acknowledged the intersex/DSD issue, etc.)
No one pushed back in the moment, or later. No complaints.
Yes—all too often I see anger expressed toward those who walk back on ideas such as TWAW. “What took you so long??”
But the fact is that many people believed this is a civil rights issue (because that’s the messaging). It’s not hypocrisy, it’s confusion. Many of us only “peaked” after years of exposure (like me). We know what it’s like to finally have the veil torn from our eyes.
Our anger could be better directed at the central perpetrators than at the moderates slowly walking it back.
Yes but who are the "central perpetrators"? To me it's the activists. Imo we have every right to be angry with the Moderates as they set policy. Obama and Biden made it the law of the land via EO that gender was to be based on identity rather than sex. So in that vain my civil rights were stomped on as a woman. I'm furious with the "Moderates" that lead states like CA and WA that make it impossible for women to have any legal recourse against men who enter our spaces.
Sure! I am referring to how to respond to those who have walked it back.
Like you I am shocked that Obama & Biden undermined and even destroyed women’s rights.
I think you are so right Lisa. Yes, we are angry that it took so long, but we must look at the big picture. Others will see what happens to defectors. They will be attacked by their own side, the least we can do is welcome them (with the fruit basket!) and show we are the kindly ones. If we do this we will attract more of the doubters (and there are many).
Helen Joyce has pointed out that defectors are one-way. Almost no-one defects from seeing the truth to peddling the lies, it’s almost always the cult followers who take the step to sanity and truth. If we want that to happen, we have to maybe bite our lips and welcome them into the fold.
Thank you for highlighting these defectors. Gives me a little bit of hope.
And I appreciate your suggestion to stand at the bottom of the off-ramp with a gift basket and show our numbers!
Great post, and great edits to Edsall! (My husband and I got into a debate yesterday over what “their claims should be respected” means. I’m guessing you & I had the same question/problem with that wording.)
The underlying problem in recognising that it is unfair for men to play with and against women in sports is that the whole house of cards starts to collapse. Having acknowledged that there's a biological difference between the sexes, it follows that humans can only identify as the opposite sex, they can't literally become the other sex.
Here in the UK, when a conversation is possible, as you cite that with our Secretary of State for Health, James Murray, the house of cards collapses and reality prevails. We are also fortunate that multiple campaign groups of all political persuasions and none have now been working for many years to expose the fallacy of gender ideology. Still a way to go, of course. Ideologues are embedded across multiple institutions and continue to exercise influence over those who would rather keep their heads down and not ask questions.
"Many of us have been counseled or pressured out of our instincts, because the most human instinct of all is to do whatever you need to do to belong." This point is totally valid, and I agree that some softening of the ire is called for by SOME of us toward the prodigal Democrats as they timidly return to reality. We must give them a new space to belong and feel welcomed. I agree about the need for more gift baskets and love--from those of us who have both the temperament and the (relative) lack of deep wounds to do so. I'm one of those, and I do thank these people when I can. But just like everything in this sorry saga, it'll unspool how it does, and people, being human, all play their parts. The PITT parents, who have seen their children deteriorate year after year, the many people whose careers and entire social worlds were destroyed, the young people who have realized they have been harmed irreversibly--they will do what they feel they need to do, including expressing their anger and feelings of betrayal by Democrats. When you finally have their attention after being dismissed, ignored, and vilified for so long, the human instinct is to unload the pent-up feelings. Some of these people who have been harmed the most will be saints who can rise above their anger and hurt for the greater good of shifting the culture of the Democratic party, but we cannot and should not expect that of all of them. In the meantime, I'll get some gift backets together.
I am with you on the PITT parents, as I've said many times. These people who denied reality to keep their jobs—they harmed children. The parents have every right to unload. But others, who want to stop the Trump insanity and try to get Democrats to budge—we can do this work.
https://www.broadview.news/p/to-the-parents
But actually, let me add that in. Thanks for the note.
Hi Lisa, I have a question related to a previous piece of yours ("Democrats Really Are for They/Them. Who's for Us?"). When you approached the NYC mayoral candidate and shared your concerns about prioritizing subjective gender identity over objective sex, he told you that he's concerned about the comfort and safety of his transgender staffers who go by they/them. When I expressed concern to the principal of my son's elementary school about how the school taught gender identity (as a fact, not a theory), she responded almost exactly the same way: there's so much discrimination out there, she said, and there's no room for that at the school. You wrote that you weren't quite sure how to respond to the man running for mayor and I also wasn't sure how to respond to the principal--of course, I don't want anyone to be discriminated against either. But I'm also not sure that asking kids to share their pronouns, using terms like "male-identified" and "female-identified" instead of boys and girls in kindergarten etc. is the best or only way to prevent discrimination. My question: is there any evidence that teaching gender identity in this way (as a fact, not a theory) in elementary schools prevents discrimination or bullying MORE than simply reminding kids that boys and girls can look and act all kinds of ways? It feels like we won't be able to get anywhere when talking to politicians or principals if we don't have an answer to the I-don't-want-trans-identifying-people-to-be-bullied-or-discriminated-against concern. Thank you in advance for any of your thoughts!
This is an EXCELLENT question. And one I don't have time to go deep on, but I have done a lot of book-related research. My suggestion is to go to GLSEN's reports and look. They've been working in schools for decades, related to anti-bullying, and I don't believe the numbers budged much at all. Some of that is because you don't want to declare that schools are doing great, because then there'd be no need for them to hire your org! I know there's research that many of those race-related workshops worsened race relations. I don't think anyone has done the equivalent with gender, but I, too, would love to know.
Politics is a game of addition, not subtraction. Who cares if it took "too long" for others to see and speak the truth? I'm glad you highlighted Amy Acton's statement. There really was nowhere else for her to go on this, considering how Republican this state has swung in this century. She's still brave to stand up to the nutters on the left, who can stamp their feet and scream all they want but will they vote for Ramaswami? I don't think so.
What we need is more of this: just tell the truth.
I had a moment 5-1/2 years ago in a class when my students and I were discussing sex vs. gender, and how the scholars whose work we were reading were using both of these terms. One student said, "sex is biology, and gender is the cultural interpretation of sex differences," which is the correct answer in my view in my discipline. Another student said, "well actually, sex is a lot more complicated & not just binary," etc. I interrupted and said, "no, in humans sex is in fact binary. We are mammals who reproduce sexually, and we need both the small male and large female gametes to make a baby. However--in our world today, people can identify, dress, and groom themselves however they like, regardless of sex. People can express their gender however they like--but our sexes don't change with cosmetic or medical interventions. (And acknowledged the intersex/DSD issue, etc.)
No one pushed back in the moment, or later. No complaints.