"I Don't Want You to Drive Off a Cliff"
A letter to a friend that I'm not going to send
Technically, this, too, should go in the “Letters to Change Minds” section. (I haven’t gotten to all your emails yet! Your patience, please, as I try to find time to add them.)
After a really unpleasant confrontation a few weeks ago, I found the letter below pouring from my fingertips. It’s not a letter you can adapt (hence the paywall), and it’s not even a letter I’m planning on sending to my friend because I’m not sure he’ll care, or that it’ll be effective.I am always wanting to show people I’m right, when what I really need to do is ask them questions about what they think is right, and how they came to that conclusion.
I am so sad that I’m so terrible at talking to people in my camp about this issue—people who read The New York Times and believe it, and truly think that Republicans and liberal objectors are anti-trans bigots, rather than people concerned with the health and safety of women, children, society at large. I’m sad that more of my actual friends don’t read my work, or that they tell me this issue doesn’t matter at all to them, but espouse strong opinions about it without considering mine. Yet I also know how terrible it feels when someone discounts my opinion, and I don’t want to do that to others. I’m desperate to transfer the curiosity that comes so easily to me in my professional work to my personal interactions. Is there a pill for that?
Still, I feel the tides changing out there. I hope someday, even if I can’t peak them, more of my friends will see what I see.
Dear friend who yelled at me over drinks last night: