A Parent of a Trans-Identified Child Responds to Paxton
A Parent of a Trans-Identified Child Responds to Paxton
Help the parents, don't punish them
After I wrote here about the Texas policy declaring gender-affirming care for children child abuse, and published the San Francisco Chronicle op-ed, a parent wrote to me to express concern about my critiques. It can be hard for those of us without gender dysphoric kids to understand the pressure to affirm and medicate; the poor quality of care some of these kids are getting; and their fear of CPS being called on parents for doing what they think is best for their kids. At the same time, it’s a miracle that the Chronicle published a complicated opinion. This parent also sent me the letter she wrote to Paxton, and I asked if I could share it here. These are not my views, but I think they are important to consider as, hopefully someday, the grownups in the room emerge to figure out the safest, most ethical and compassionate way to treat the rising number of gender dysphoric kids.
I lightly copyedited this letter.
Dear Mr. Paxton:
As a parent of a rapid onset gender dysphoric child, I was very pleased to see your stance on child abuse as encompassing gender medicine for minors. I understand that you used the strongest tool available to stop children from harm, and for that I applaud you. No child can consent to gender medicine. No one, not even a parent, has the right to take away the fertility of a child or irreversibly harm them based upon what will likely be an ephemeral belief. However, I respectfully request some compassion to protect parents who were forced to medicalize their children.
I worry because parents are placed in untenable position. I am a lead of a parent group in my area. There is not one parent in the 75-plus group who was provided with an alternative treatment for their child outside of medicalization. Abigail Martinez lost custody of her child for not affirming, and her daughter stood in front of train after being removed from the home and given cross-sex hormones. Many parents have lost custody of their children for not affirming them. So, we parents are “damned if we do and damned if we don’t.”
We are blackmailed by therapists, school counselors, social workers, teachers, medical professionals and advocacy groups that if we do not give into our children’s demands for gender care (life-affirming care as they pose it), they will kill themselves. This mantra is repeated endlessly. Nothing is more feared than the suicide of your child.
One only need to go to a few gender clinic sites or advocacy groups (Trevor Project, GLSEN, GLADD, ACLU, etc.) to see how parents are held hostage to these unfounded claims. When doctors repeat those suicide statements, parents are terrified.
Many parents capitulate after been worn down, or do not have access to the real harms of gender medicine. Some parents trust doctors implicitly.
I really hope that the District Attorneys do not fault these parents from listening to those whom they believed were positioned to help them. I personally know many parents who permitted medical treatments that they then learned were not appropriate and harmful to their children because they trusted the “experts.” The ones who should and need to answer for this tragedy are the ones spewing the false narratives: CPS, Advocacy groups, doctors, therapist, school counselors, etc., not the parents who are bombarded with falsehoods.
That said, there are groups of parents that use the “trans-ing” of their children for virtual signaling, personal reasons, and even financial gain, as they script their child and parade them around as poster transkids. Those parents should be held accountable for child abuse.
Social media platforms pushing this harmful ideology must also be investigated. Advertising to children on TikTok, Youtube, Instagram, Tumblr, Gofundme, Twitter and alike is akin to the “thin nation” that was banned, which promoted anorexics posting the thinnest of their ilk.
Last, please understand that CPS and all the groups that are required to report have been captured by the gender ideologues. They have been trained in one narrative for years. Until that is reversed, these groups will protect those pushing the unscientific treatment for gender dysphoria.
Thank you for safeguarding children in Texas. Here in my state, we are moving in the opposite direction and hundreds of thousands of children will be harmed.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
A Parent
Your writing is the best I have seen no this topic Lisa! Keep it up! Thank you from another mom of an ROGD child. I went to a play at our local high school this past weekend. This performance was unique because all of the plays were written, directed and casted by the students. My child who identifies as Non Binary, was one of the 12 teens in this single production who identify under the current trans umbrella. During the play, which was a queer version of a Sherlock Holmes mystery, wherein Watson was in the midst of planning his upcoming wedding with his boyfriend, Sam, when he dies of poisoning. (both of these male characters were played by natal females who identify as non-binary.)The set had only one prop - a vase of pink and blue flowers with a trans flag proudly displayed on stage. This had no relevance to the play whatsoever... The theater faculty members who guide and sponsor these student directors both have links to GLSEN on their email signatures as to why using pronouns is supportive. I left so astounded by the utter ideological capture of this public school that I was speechless. At what point and HOW do we get adults to actually stop and think at all about what they are doing? Teen explore. Teens do things in groups. This would all be beautifully creative if the conveyor belt of transition wasn't looming in the background and the detransitioners continue to multiply. How can our institutions be supporting this with NO pause or dialogue at all. BTW - my child has changed their name and pronouns at school and no one has EVER contacted me about this.